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Consumer v. Producer : Which are YOU? by @SBSLEducSoltns

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Stretching your Entrepreneurial Thinking

While entrepreneurs will always consume certain resources, no different from our staff, or other citizens,, we shouldn’t think through a consumer lens nor should we spend precious time being one. So, let’s shake things up!

 

While reading, please invest time to ask yourself some questions. As I often advise mentees, be reflective; forego being reflexive or reactive. The difference is profound.

 

The Consumer

Per Dictionary.com , … origin: 14th C [1375–1425] = “squanderer”

 

What a strong connotation! Do we really desire to have our business(es) associated with this definition, even if its meaning has evolved somewhat over the passage of time?!

 

Why are we ‘encouraged’ , compelled, or even shamed into consuming?

The answer is too complex to address in a blog post, yet, we are able to unravel some characteristics of a consumerist.

 

He/She/They …

 

  • Oft carry a considerable amount of consumer debt
  • Will be watching, listening to, or reading lots of content from the mass media*
  • Quite likely is a side-preneur still receiving a regular paycheck as a W-2’er
  • Fairly often feel uncomfortable discussing economics or talking about money/finances

& …

  • Might use words like ‘retail therapy’, be distressed** , and/or focused on material things

( inc. transactions to make more $ versus building business relationships. )

 

Click to Tweet

 

“Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer. He is by constitution expensive, and needs to be rich.”

 

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Sign of a Consumerist

 

Self deception ( vid clip HERE ) is strong; maybe we know in the depths of our soul, by looking at our financial statements, or just in our gut that we are living a consumerist life while building our entrepreneurial venture/s, yet … we outwardly deny it, in our self-talk, our conversations with others, etc.

 

If you do this, you’re not alone. Some signals, both implicit & explicit to home in on & eventually course correct include:

 

  • Not paying off credit cards monthly
  • Driving in a vehicle that you don’t actually own
  • Expensive office space which raises your rates needlessly
  • Not leveraging the countless discount programs/apps/memberships available
  • Buying costly drinks or meals while at events

 

What’ll it Take … a ‘voice of courage’

Laying the groundwork for a major mindset shift will clearly impact all spheres of your business ‘being’ :  heart, mind, spirit/soul, & financial. Yet, it’s still January, and here’s hoping that you invested quality time and treasure creating and then taking action to live out these 2019 mantras, goals, or habit transformations instead.

 

If you’ve not yet carved a line item in your business blueprint for a mentor, a coach, or a niche consultant

( a good friend is ideal for the latter: Cherish Your World/Feng Shui Consultant ),  … now would be a great time!

 

A Producer’s Model

Defined here , with its synonyms including ‘builder’ & ‘creator’; which leads me to ask a few questions:

 

Don’t we all want to be known, in our branding, sales, & marketing, as these things?

Why would we knowingly choose its opposite?

 

Which characteristics might ID this type of business pro?

 

He/She/They …

 

  • Understand Y.D.I.L ***  when it comes to their finances/money ‘mind’.
  • Participate in social capital creating/expanding actions: Connecting others, serving in their communities, & building ‘roots & wings’ in their households.
  • Have eschewed a paycheck from a 3rd party & are sustaining on dollars earned through serving & solving.
  • Understand the value of time > money.  ( read previous post )

& …

  • Oft use words like legacy, leadership, leverage, significance, & value in everyday conversation.

 

Suggested Profiles

 

Brent Wehmeyer

 

Eric Kim

 

Producers Manifesto Poster

 

*** More on Y.D.I.L.

Y = You, Inc. [ ‘investing’ in your mind – trillion $+ ‘real estate’ ]

 

D = {consumer} debt [ pay off, or better yet, bypass proactively ]

 

I = Investments [ mainstream financial vehicles ]

 

L = Lifestyle [ far better to live below or right at par/your means ]

 

By committing to this informal, yet powerful acronym, my entire financial picture & level of consciousness, were shifted, bit by bit.

= I became a producer!

 

You can, too.

Starting, and perhaps expanding,  your business mustn’t originate from the scraps on your monetary table: It should be the main course, growing in parallel with your self-leadership as the “CEO” of You, Inc.

 

Value squared

Many thought leaders have previously opined on similar topic/s; I’m always pleased to cross reference their content & encourage readers in this community to learn more about them.

 

Their specialized knowledge, paired with mine, should generate lots of value for you, the reader.

 

The Producers Manifesto

Consumer v. Producer

Start Every Day as a Producer …

* Infographic – What is the ‘mass media’?

** https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/types-of-stressors-eustress-vs-distress/

 

In short …

 

  • Know the clear differences b/w a consumer(ist) & a producer
  • Click to Tweet the Emerson quote: there’s a very elevated level of consciousness within it.
  • Invest time to click on the links provided to follow the bread crumb trail of wisdom
  • Connect with the suggested social media accounts & thank them for being producers 🙂
  • Paint yourself with a producer’s Picassian flair!  #BeAnExample
  • Y.D.I.L. is very insightful, yet very contrarian.

 

Thank YOU for reading!

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How To Know When You Are At Your Breaking Point by @JAMIECHENG

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How To Know When You Are At Your Breaking Point

by Jamie Cheng | Featured Contributor 

Anxious and lost are understatements of what you might associate with your lowest valleys. This article might seem to be a full-fledged negative one in the beginning but there’s light (and advice) at the end of the tunnel.

I know that the very fact you’re reading this means that some part of you may have had too much to bear. You’ve wrecked your brain, smashed your heart, and dirtied your hands. Still, you find yourself suffocating in your very own thoughts and emotions; you’re drowning and there’s no lifeguard on duty.

I do not know you nor your situation. But what I do know for certain is that you’re not alone in this (even if you feel so) and that you can make it through.

 

Definition of Breaking Point

 

Cambridge Dictionary defines this as: “The stage at which your control over yourself or a situation is lost.”

 

Your breaking point is where you have lost control of yourself or a situation. A breaking point is like doing that last rep in the gym. And it seems like the weight isn’t even moving an inch anymore.

A breaking point is like staying in that abusive (not necessarily has to just be physical) relationship and you’ve had enough of trying to fake a smile while you step out of closed doors.

A breaking point is like having to feed your family of six with a measly salary. You live from hand to mouth and inside it breaks you when you can’t give your dearly loved family what they deserve. You feel like you don’t know what else to do anymore.

A breaking point is like getting mocked and bullied online and in school. You wonder if anyone even cares or loves you, whether there’s an escape from this plight that you so don’t deserve. You wonder if your life even matters, and can’t figure out what’s the point of living anyway.

 

Tell-Tale Signs of Reaching Your Breaking Point

Each of us has our own set of problems and we all come with battle scars. But the general tell-tale signs of you reaching your breaking point would be a place where you constantly face these tangible issues:

  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Always out of focus
  • You feel more irritable and emotional (more tears)
  • You are more withdrawn and prefer isolation
  • Changes in appetite
  • Feelings of worthlessness and suicide

Carl Naumberg, PhD., wrote for Psychology Today on how this easy acronym can help you to check in with your body.

CALM which stands for:

  • C – Chest
  • A – Arms
  • L – Legs
  • M – Mind

Looking for signs of tension such as physical tightness in your chest, arms, and legs can help to raise a caveat so that you can do something about it as soon as possible. In addition, you can try introspecting, where you purposefully become conscious about the thoughts running through your mind. More specifically, to be aware of anxiety-causing thoughts.

It may seem to you right now that this doesn’t solve your problem. Heck, why would you even want to ‘dwell’ on how miserable you feel!

But being aware and conscious of the problem is the first (and most crucial) step in either preventing you from reaching your breaking point or getting you out from that deep, dark well.

 

“I would spend 55 minutes defining the problem and then five minutes solving it.”
Albert Einstein

Push Forward or Pull Back?

You are a fighter. You’re strong and you never back down. Inside this body of yours is a resilient and persistent soul. All your life, you’ve always found the strength to try one more time and stay in the grind.

But could this be an unwise move for this situation you’re in?

Sometimes the clear choice that will benefit you could just be pulling back. But because you’re stuck in a debate between your moral, beliefs, and concrete facts you let things remain just as they are. The lack of decisiveness has decided for you that you stay put at where you are.

Here are some helpful questions to make this decision a little easier:

  1. Is this going to lead me to my big goals?
  2. Am I still committing into this just because I’m too deep into it?
  3. If my friend is in the exact situation as I am, what would I advise?
  4. What is the real fundamental problem in my situation?
  5. Are the voices of others determining my decisions?

Yup, this is the part where you get a pen and paper out to write them down.

Making decisions can be scary, no doubt about that. Simply because it’s stepping into something that cannot be undone. However, indecision is something you should never let yourself do.

 

Expert’s Advice

 

Who better to seek advice on this from than Oprah? Here’s how Oprah copes with stress and thereby steering clear from reaching her breaking point.

 

 

 

1. Sleep Deserves a Schedule

Oprah clearly knows herself very well and what makes her perform better. She shares with Fast Company that she naturally wakes up every morning at around 7:16 a.m. to 7:23 a.m. Yep, all without an alarm clock.

She states that when she arises from her slumber, she takes conscious note about her environment; the sunrise, the morning mist, and the different chirps from the birds around.

 

2. Motivation from Yourself, to Yourself

I was hearing a podcast sometime this week from Optimal Business Daily and they talked about how to flip a sad situation into an award-winning success. One tip that was shared is to read a thousand biographies, one at a time.

Why? Because you allow yourself to be exposed and aware about those who’s been-there-done-that. You give their real-life stories a chance to empathize with your current situation. As a result, you’ll be fuelled with hope, and even some nuggets of advice. Oprah does the same. She has a box of quotes with a label ‘365 Truths’ on it. She picks three pieces and take about a minute to read each of them while she brews her morning tea.

 

3. Coping Tactic

“I close the door, wherever I am—at my old office in Chicago, I’d literally go in the closet—and just sit and breathe,” Oprah shares with Fast Company.

All in all, prevention is better than cure. And it really all starts with being self-aware and conscious of your being. Sadly, I can’t tell you exactly how to decide on which is best for you – even I am discovering it for myself. I hope that this article has been helpful and you’ve found the strength to make a decision.

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8 Ways To Step Into 2019 With A Vengeance And Operate At Your Fullest Potential by @AngeKYoumatter

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Photo by STIL on Unsplash

by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

When you invest time to reflect what you are like when you are at your best and when you are having your best impact on other people, the true essence of you has been activated. The part of your brain lights up that produces enthusiasm and zest. To truly succeed, you must be willing to bring your whole self to the way you live and to work you do. That means showing up, leading with humility, embracing vulnerability, and despite your imperfections and flaws, embodying your humanness. Your ability to have courageous conversations, ask for help, establish and sustain human connections and allow yourself to be visible and seen.

Breaking the cycle of monotony, doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different response – insanity as Einstein famously pointed out. Yet many continue to run the hamster wheel, leaving parts of themselves at home when they enter the workplace. Yes, check the ego at the door but bringing your whole self to work., embracing all parts of you, will set the platform for you to launch yourself in the new year.

With 2019 knocking on the door, let me share with you 8 ways how to stop the drama, continue the feel-good moments and start embodying the best of you with victorious thinking and action.

Leading Your Energy

Your energy is the most prized and protected resource. Human beings need time to relax and recharge. If your energy is affected nothing happens.  Your energy sources are connected to your basic human needs – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. When you conduct a self-assessment (1 – 10 scale) on your state in each of those areas, you obtain a clear picture of what gives you energy and perhaps what changes are required to sustain your energy over time. Nurturing your energy is necessary to keep the passion and vision alive and to handle the responsibility coming your way.

Explore your return on energy

When you review 2018, explore the things that inspired you. Unveil the things that didn’t work and what sucked the energy out of you like an emotional vampire. Identify what were the things that were within your control and separate them from the external events.

When you allow your flow state to unfold, the true unfiltered you will reveal itself. Put pen to paper to dip into your distant self and extract your internal resources. Imagine yourself one year down the road, set a timer for 15 minutes and begin writing down the problem you are experiencing, including your thoughts, emotions that come up. Language who you were being, what you experienced and how you added value. Ask what advice you would give her? Reverse engineer what your success felt like and identify your high levels goals, who needs to be part of your journey and how you celebrate achieving the milestones. When the time is up or whether you have continued beyond the buzzer, clear your head and revisit the suggestions with a renewed focus.

If you want a new year, do it differently

How many people set artificial goals because that is what everyone else is doing. If you want a new year, do 2019 differently. Setting SMART goals as most people have been trained, however, start with asking the question “How you might bring value to others in 2019?” Step into the leader you are by asking quality questions that reflect leaderly value such as “How will you create environments that let others know that they matter?” “What is one thing you must do today that brings you closer to build the future you aspire to create?” “What are you prepared to do, that you haven’t already done, to get where you haven’t been? Invest in what you must do to define the year you want.

Bringing awareness to your body

Self-inquiry brings awareness to where your feelings and sensations reside. Listening to your body for 15 minutes a day can assist you to recognize and name your emotions. Create a space where you sit quietly with your journal, close your eyes and when images, words or body sensations occur, record them. At times, an image or memory may come to mind instead however the important aspect is to stay with the quality of the sensation and put to aside your logical senses. Inquire more deeply and ask what is it about this whole problem that makes this quality so – challenging, angry, stuck, overwhelmed, pleasant, uplifting, enlightening – identify your own words. Return your attention to your body and allow the sensation to release. You may not always feel a shift and you may notice a moment of feeling better but not knowing why. Trust that your ability to be present to your inner world is often enough to begin an emotional awareness process.

Being present to you

Practice daily habits that ground you into your body by creating a calm place where you can focus on your breath and meditate for 10 minutes. Practice joy by immersing yourself in activities each day – whether it be drawing, dancing or baking. Automated writing where you free-write, scribble, express all your emotions, thoughts and feelings in uncensored detail. Choose whether you wish to journal or write on a piece of paper and burn when complete as part of a releasing process. Invite the serenity prayer – “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things l cannot change, the courage to change the things l can. And wisdom to know the difference”. Identify what you can change versus the things you cannot.

Turning off when you leave work

Finding pockets of time to decompress outside of work is critical to our functioning. Shawn Achor, in a Harvard Business Review article, highlighted the need to identify periods at home as “work-free zones “that allows for mental decompression. Having personal days, regular breaks or taking a vacation allows the brain and body to rest without the mental chatter of the workplace.

Within the workplace, adjust where you have a break 10-minute break within a 60-minute timeframe. Design your day to fulfill your requirements for maximum impact to deliver results without compromising your wellbeing. Headspace has an app that offers a 10-minute guided meditation that can assist you to recharge and be more focused and productive at work.  Arianna Huffington highlighted in her book The Sleep Revolution how our dismissal of sleep significantly impacts on our health, decision-making and undermines our lives. The Sleep Foundation supports that we require a healthy eight hours to ensure you are rested and ready to embark on a new day.

Needing more self-love in our workplaces

Self-love is tossed around conversations and the self-development arena – “you need to love yourself more”, if you loved you more, then this wouldn’t happen, you need to love you first before loving another”. Self-love is not a state of feeling good, it is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support all aspects of our growth. Setting boundaries to people, activities or work that deplete your energy are imperative.

Bring the right people into your life, practice great self-care to self-nourish mind, body, and spirit. Live intentionally as you live by your design with purpose. Lisa Nichols, motivational speaker, and best-selling author,  reminds us that your job is to inspire you to become the best version of yourself and that when you become an abundant thinker, you achieve unlimited success on your terms.

Being kinder to you

You have heard the phrase that “you are your own worst critic”. Your investment in giving more weight to your flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings than your successes. Officially termed “negativity bias” your mind is compromised, your productivity interfered with and your body accelerates aging and illness. To circuit-break the cycle, self-compassion is required. Dr. Kristen Neff, psychologist supports the practice of being kind and understanding to our self despite the events as self-compassion supports motivation and positive change. One way to interrupt the cycle is through transcendental meditation. The TM technique allows your mind to easily settle inward until you experience a peaceful level of awareness. Hundred of published research studies on TM verify its effectiveness for reducing stress, enhancing brain functioning and strengthens immunity.

So many people invest their time in December obsessing over their goals, how they will reach them and how these are going to change their world. It is time to purge bad habits, learn from mistakes, make friends with your discomfort and conquer your fears. It’s time to turn things around by stepping into your fullest potential. Don’t keep reliving the past, it’s time to reinvent the future.

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Time = Gold (and … money = silver) by @SBSLEducSoltns

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by SJ Barakony | Featured Contributor

Putting Productivity ahead of Busy-ness in Business

 

“I’m so busy!”

“How are you? How’s business?  Busy!”

 

There are mild variants,  yet, the theme is constant: The individual is … say it with me now …. B-u-s-y.

Since when did our nation’s backbone, entrepreneurs, decide that this status was the end all, be all, in conversation, let alone in practice?

Let’s reframe. First, though, empathy & grace are necessary.

I know: There’s a LOT on your plate;  I’m sure many of these are on your calendar, scribbled on sticky notes, and/or are pop up reminders on your smart device:  Payroll. Review insurance coverage. Talk to the V.A; accountant; and/or financial advisor. Respond to client messages. Etc …

Still, we shouldn’t aspire to busy-ness; when we stop, if merely for a moment & reflect, we realize that as entrepreneurs, we’re solution providers & producers.

Thus, the more we produce, the more pro-ductive we are: it’s productivity which we should strive for, a 1:1 replacement for the ‘busyness’ that is our default answer to so many questions.

Painting a picture to aid in this mindset shift, we revisit the 1st few words …

 

Time = Gold.

 

… and now can move to implement this truth in our business first ( self-leadership ), then, model it for staff + customers, lastly, replicating it to other entrepreneurs in our network.

 

Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”
― Lin Yutang

Click to Tweet

Lin Yutang #quote

 

 

Precious Metals

 

Gold :  

Time is an irreplaceable asset, just like gold. Gold is finite & very rare: Its value has held firm for thousands of years & once was used regularly in commerce worldwide. Just like there’s always been a 24 hour day, the amount of gold available for mining is constant; fluctuation in the ‘price’ of gold is due to the underlying currencies, just like your productivity ties to how well you lead yourself.

Silver :

Money is a reflection, a flag, which signals how much value you’ve added to the marketplace; your monetized service, product, &/or specialized knowledge is your entrepreneurial bridge b/w problem identified & solution provided. We look to silver now, as its value is also stable, yet it’s more abundant in nature than gold. So, with an abundance mentality x growth mindset, you know you can grow your share of this not fixed pie.

 

 

Two must read books

Without a shred of doubt, I wholeheartedly recommend both. Each has a high ceiling of potential energy which can be tapped to lead to dramatic improvements in your productivity & reduced busy-ness.

 

E-Myth: Revisited

The Fifth Discipline

 

Stephen R. Covey

He passed away over 6 years ago, gone & not forgotten as a pioneer; through his off the charts levels of contribution, we have much to tap into. The 4 quadrants is something to study often, & implement in short order.

 

Covey’s Time Management Matrix, in the written word

Or perhaps you’d learn better from a visual?

 

 

Suggested ‘Twitterverse’ Follows

 

A Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy by Joshua Becker

How to Stop Being Busy All the Time from Gus Razzetti

4 Ways to Break Free From Being “Too Busy” penned by Rikki Rogers , culled from The Muse

 

Leverage = Legacy

 

This concept is transformational.  Pulling from the vastness of the internet, here are two marvelous resources. Once you take this small two-step seriously, my advice is to keep going!

 

Kelly Azevedo

Amanda Abella


Systems Thinking?  

 

Its powerful.  In a previous post, you learned all about the power of principled self education.

Here’s a superb opportunity to practice what you read by visiting Donella Meadows ‘s website.

And if you haven’t yet bumped into this infographic, please, I implore you, dive in over the next 24 hours. Your income can become systems driven wealth through active application of this business truism.

 

In my ongoing discovery, I’ve repeatedly shared these maxims with those whom I mentor, in coffee 1:1’s, & elsewhere: Why? They’ve allowed me to run multiple business ventures at the same time, all while making strides towards being productive = gold = time & (more) passive = silver = money.

 

Next steps:

 

 

What can Westminster Abbey teach about implementing this content?!  

 

This inscription, when understood at a deeper level, reflects the ongoing value of lifelong learning.

 

Action Time

 

As with anything you choose to read, listen to, or watch, the truest formula = what you do next, how you proceed, & why?

Reflect, through meditation, prayer, yoga, or in a moment(s) of silence on this post, please, & thank you for reading!

 

In short …

 

  • A producer is productive; a consumer is busy. ‘Busy’ shouldn’t be a status, symbol, or state of being for the wise entrepreneur
  • Time = gold.  Money = silver.  Prioritize your irreplaceable asset;  focus on it and not on money (income, wealth) as #1.
  • Review the links to invest in 2 highly recommended books
  • Covey’s quadrants/matrix is a terrific tool in and by itself
  • Suggested Twitter follows & some of their scholarly tweets. #MustReads
  • Understand systems & leverage in your entrepreneurship education
  • Leadership starts with self

 

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4 Tips for Aspiring Women Entrepreneurs Eager to Start a Business by @myjoyorganics

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by Joy Smith

More than a decade ago, it was rare to see women entering the business world and embark upon the challenging entrepreneurial journey.

However, times have changed and presently women are at the helm of reputed businesses across the globe. According to the National Association of Women Business Owners, America has nearly 12 million women-owned businesses, employing nine million people and generating a revenue of $1.7 trillion.

In fact, numerous ambitious women are starting to assert themselves in fields like the STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics), banking, healthcare, and fashion and beauty.

One of the most prominent examples is the representation of women in the cannabis industry. Statistics reveal that over 36 percent of all executive-level positions in the industry are held by women who are passionate about marketing organically-grown hemp CBD oil to the masses.
If you are passionate about being your own boss, the effective tips shared in this post will help you launch and scale your venture, allowing you to realize your career goals.

1. Be Prepared to Impress Venture Capitalists

The uncomfortable truth about entrepreneurship is that it has always been male-dominated. This can be particularly challenging when raising capital for your enterprise as venture capitalist firms tend to hold women entrepreneurs to a higher standard in comparison to their male peers.

Though the scenario is slowly changing in favor of women, presently 94 percent of the decision-makers at venture capitalist firms are men. Further, merely three percent of all the venture capital in the U.S. is being directed to women-led firms. Thus, with men controlling the vast majority of capital, women may find it tough to impress venture capitalists and find funding options for their startup.

Venture capitalists expect to invest in compelling business ideas that have a huge market opportunity, thereby promising them a lucrative return on investment. Moreover, they are looking for dedicated, passionate, and coachable entrepreneurs who are not afraid to take risks.

Before cold-calling for capital, it is wise to research on venture capitalists who would want to invest in your idea. Connect with them on LinkedIn and Twitter and introduce yourself to them. Join business hubs, incubators, and accelerators that can connect you to venture capitalists and help you enhance your reputation in the industry.

Does the venture capitalist follow some industry influencer? If you are able to make an impression on the person who influences your prospective VC, you can easily impress the latter.

2. Look for Mentors

An effective mentor who is experienced in your field can help you launch and scale your venture, propelling your startup towards success. Above all, experienced women mentors can help you respond to blatant gender bias.

Make sure you have multiple mentors so each of them can offer advice based on their individual expertise and enable you to overcome the practical and emotional challenges faced by aspiring female entrepreneurs.

Join professional women’s networking groups like Women in Business Network (WIBN) and Meetup that support women-owned ventures and connect you to industry influencers and prospective mentors. Online mentorship networks like Find a Mentor are dedicated to pairing budding startup founders with potential mentors.

If you still find it challenging to come across a worthy business mentor, surround yourself with a value-adding board of advisors, who can guide you with the major business decisions and lead you to prospective customers and investors.

Furthermore, it is important to give back the knowledge you acquire. Remember the challenges you faced and volunteer to help other budding women entrepreneurs navigate the entrepreneurial path by mentoring them.

3. Learn to Respond to Condescension

During your entrepreneurial journey, you will be often spoken to like a secretary, even though you run the show. Although times are changing, the chances of you meeting a chauvinistic client, investor, or competitor who believes in outdated gender norms is quite high.

As a startup founder, you are in a client-facing role; hence, you cannot afford to feel humiliated or abandon your stakeholders for their biased attitude. Instead, learn to respond to arrogance in a way that asserts your professionalism.

Likewise, you will come across people who will underestimate your professional abilities and chances of making it big in the industry. Instead of feeling bogged down, put in maximum effort to prove the crowd wrong. The idea of creating a successful startup in a world full of baseless gender-based assumptions is a completely entrepreneurial thing to do.

4. Remember: The Key Entrepreneurial Traits Aren’t Male or Female

We have often read articles or hear industry influencers say that men are better at negotiating and leadership, whereas women excel at communication and listening. Though several such entrepreneurial traits have been labelled as male-or-female-oriented, they actually belong to both genders and are critical to entrepreneurial success.

Identify the common entrepreneurial traits relevant to your industry and work towards developing them. For instance, if your business requires you to meet vendors and negotiate the cost of material, you should develop the art of negotiating in order to network and strike a profitable deal.

Women entrepreneurs across the globe are overcoming the challenges of starting a new business and proving that their skills can build a profitable venture in the male-dominated business world. If you aspire to catch up with the changing tide of women entrepreneurship, use the tips shared in this post to navigate the entrepreneurial path and scale your business to success.

———————————————————————

Joy Smith is a speaker, mentor, entrepreneur, mother of four, and grandmother of six. After trying a number of poor quality CBD products, she teamed up with her family to develop an organically grown, full spectrum hemp oil to help people who suffer from a wide array of ailments. Visit Joy’s website to learn more Joy Organics.

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The Way to Start your Day by @timewithtammy

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The Way to Start your Day

by Tamela Duncan | Featured Contributor 

Most people will tell you they don’t like mornings. Humans report feeling tired, hurried, anxious and negative, the very moment they roll out of bed. That negative energy that you emit first thing stays with you and impacts those around you. It’s okay that it takes a little time to get going, but like it or not – we all have to do mornings. Albeit, it takes some a bit longer to wake than others, but research has found that mental attitude is the real culprit of mornings. So, instead of focusing on the aggravation you feel simply from having to start your day; here are a few tips to make that start more pleasant.

  1. Rise thirty minutes before you need to get going

– Give yourself extra time in the morning so you are not anxious and feeling rushed

– Feeling hurried is the #1 reason people are irritable and don’t enjoy mornings

  1. Drink a full glass of water

– Your body has been dehydrating thru the night and needs replenishing

  1. Listen to Music

– Instead of putting on the television, or checking those emails let your body feel the music

– Music reduces stress and anxiety

– Music creates a positive sensation inside the body

  1. Move your body just a little bit

– Dance, stretch, take a walk or just jump up and down

– 10 minutes of body movement increases energy, gets your lymph nodes working, and improves mental clarity

  1. Meditate

– Take a few moments for silence, relaxed breathing, prayer, or gentle contemplation

  1. Start your day with Gratitude

– Write down 3 things for which you are grateful (or at least say them to yourself)

– Having gratitude releases positive chemicals in the brain and body

  1. Smile: at yourself and the world

– The simple act of smiling releases feel-good chemicals

– It improves mood, reduces stress, and even boosts productivity

Mornings have a different feel than the rest of the day. They are calmer, more quiet and gentle. It is an opportunity to start with good energy that can help carry you through as the day speeds up and the demands increase. Give yourself the gift of starting your day with a positive mental attitude and a little self-care. (And…there’s always coffee)

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How a bad day can become a good day by @WeAreMarsBook

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by | Featured Contributor

Everyone has bad days.

From the ancestor who had an unexpected encounter with a sabre-tooth tiger one morning, to the young executive with the flat tire on the freeway, bad days have been derailing humanity since the dawn of time. One thing bad days all have in common, and something we can take heart in, is that we’re in it together. EVERYONE has bad days.

This article offers suggestions on how to regain control and perspective when a bad day is looming.

Firstly, I’d like to share with you some techniques I find can help me to get through a bad day. Not every technique will be successful one hundred percent of the time, but I think there’s no harm in trying to develop ways to cope with events and situations that threaten to keep us spiralling into negativity, messing with our productivity.

Stop, breathe and find something positive to reflect on.

Not ALL parts of a bad day are BAD. Think about some of the aspects of your day that were pleasant, even if it’s something as simple as the shower you took that morning that felt good. It’s often helpful for me to think about my family and that I enjoyed spending time with them that morning while we were getting ready for the day. Find something and feel the benefits of dwelling on a positive memory or experience.

Pamper yourself.

My high anxiety levels often make me feel challenged by the demands on my schedule. When I’m feeling harried or stressed, I try and find a way to administer a little self-care. This can take any form: it can be the deliberate selection of a great music playlist for the morning commute; it can be a small indulgence; or it can be a ‘time-out’ from the craziness.  Taking the time to recharge and renew is a great weapon against negativity.

Be aware of your bad day triggers.

Not all bad days are created from things within our control, but many times, we can and should influence the outcome of certain experiences for ourselves. You can’t avoid getting fired, but you can suppress the desire to be verbally abusive with every person who gets in your way as you exit the building. You can’t avoid getting cut off in the traffic, but you can realize that there is little point to ranting and shouting obscenities at someone who made an error in judgement – intentionally or not. Self-talk and rationalizing your responses can help you to avoid bad moments from sucking down the rest of the day.

Talk to someone.

No, don’t YELL at someone – TALK. It is one of the easiest ways to dispel the negativity around a bad experience before it becomes a bad day. Often just verbalizing your feelings can be enough to soothe them and return you to a state of equilibrium again. If no one is around, call someone or text someone to have a chat. Vent your frustrations, but don’t allow it to become more than a recap of the events that have you in a flap. Often, someone commiserating with you can lead you to righteous indignation, but seldom are you in a position, after-the-fact to do anything about a stress-inducing incident. It’s a self-destructive waste of energy to get upset anew at a past event.

Move On.

Yes, you need to give yourself permission to LET STUFF GO! Most humans have a finite capacity for other people’s messes and they will disengage, which could lead you to believe no one cares. They do care, but they have other stuff they need to invest their energy in rather than indulging another rant session. Reinvest in yourself by giving yourself permission to pass on another round of complaining about whatever made you so upset in the first place. Others will follow suit. I’m not advocating for you to never say anything to anyone about your problems, but rather, that you recognize when the moment has passed and it’s time for you to get on with life. It’s okay to have a good cry, but the crying needs to stop at some point and you need to pick yourself up and carry on. Life doesn’t grind to a halt and wait for you to catch up. The longer you stay in the negativity zone, the harder it is to move out of it.

Work/Life Balance as an entrepreneur.

Being an entrepreneur means you experience a disproportionate number of bad days, especially when your business is in a less productive cycle. It is worth reminding yourself at your lowest points why you got into business for yourself in the first place. Then adjust your outlook to keep those reasons in mind and get back to it. When you are chin deep in challenges, you have to keep looking up, or you will lose sight of your goals.

Learn from those bad days. If you failed miserably at keeping your cool, try and understand why:

  1. Where does the negativity come from? Try and articulate the feelings that lead to it.
  2. What can you do differently?
  3. Where are the weaknesses that are compounding your problems?
  4. What are the alternative solutions or behaviours that can lead to a different outcome?

Every time you try and find the silver lining around a dark cloud, you’ll discover the cloud is not so dark after all.

Finally, when you can disarm a bad day and you can deconstruct it, you find the good in it. Bad days are moments in our lives that teach us a lot about who we are and what we can do when we are faced with trouble. The big picture makes every bad day a good day to be mindful, learn and grow.

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The Faces Of Shame @AngeKYoumatter

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by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

The digital world has given a voice to the people on a scale never seen before. At its worst, it is a weapon of mass destruction. The digital world has amplified slander, intensified bullying and masticated reputations like a lion chewing a piece of meat.  Shaming has become a digital centerpiece that can destroy lives and livelihoods.

No one is immune to shaming. Whether it be the stay at home mum, a woman period-shamed at work  or the 70-year-old female body shamed at the gym . One tweet, one article or a post captures the fat shaming, slut shaming or career shaming that runs rapidly across the globe.

Public shaming has been synonymous with the justice system dating back centuries where petty criminals were sentenced to public floggings, drawing in large crowds and binding communities to ensure justice was served. Today, public shaming continues as a form of punishment. Whether it requires shoplifters to carry signs stating they stole, or a Californian state website that contains the names of people who don’t pay their taxes or gossip in a workplace, shaming has such a scale and speed that the results can be soul destroying.

In a TED Talk “When Online Shaming Goes Too Far” Jon Ronson shares the story of Justine Sacco who sent an ill-considered tweet in 2013 that blew up her life between her flight from London to South Africa. A 64-character tweet and with only 170 twitter followers, ignited an international feeding frenzy of online mob mentality expressing collective rage, her name synonymous with racism, her hashtag #HasJustineLandedYet waiting for her public hanging. As a former senior director of corporate communications, she was to find her fate via a twitter post advising of her termination. Justine was publicly sentenced and hung out to dry for a holiday tweet that had no intent behind it.

Women’s behavior is still subject to much scrutiny, and if the narrative is not adhered to, then shaming is activated. Despite the feminist movement, slut-shaming continues in great force around the globe. In August 2018, Rachel Hundley, a council member in Sonoma, California received a threatening email accusing her of immoral and unethical behavior and demanding she drop out of the city council race or a website with photos of her from Burning Man would be released. Serena Williams shamed on social media for her supposedly “large” and “masculine” appearance. Amy Cuddy gets your “power pose” on her Ted Talk which originated from noticing a gender grade gap among her students at Harvard Business School. Despite her critics and shameful attacks on her and her research publicly, she intended to help empower women in the workplace, even little girls.

Let’s delve into the good, the bad and the uglies of shame.

Self-shamer

Shame is that deep, painful feeling attached to how you negatively see yourself. You identify yourself as bad, mad, flawed or less than what you ought to be. The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. Here is your opportunity – embrace that you are human and experience shame or embrace the first step of the 12-step recovery program, “l am a sociopath.”

In the book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown describes shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” When you delve in deeper, Brown differentiates between guilt and shame. Guilt being “l did something bad”, shame equating to “I am bad.” Shame embodies blame, and when you step into that moment, you deflect all responsibility.

Shame can be an early warning system

Shame tells you when you have hurt someone. When you have crossed a boundary that violates a person’s dignity. It grabs your attention, and if you pause long enough, you have an opportunity to correct your behavior. I’m sure you have heard yourself in the workplace in that fleeting moment– “You are so self-centered”, “You only care about yourself and not the team”, “You took our idea and made it be your own”,  or “Sweetheart you are too big for your boots”. Sounding familiar.

The moment when foot in mouth disease kicks and the bull has charged for the red flag. In a fleeting moment, you regain your sanity, you begin to feel shame for having attacked someone you respect you have violated a person’s human dignity. Recognizing the vulnerable feelings that underpin your verbal attack, can be the catalyst to acknowledge your behavior and apologize to rebuild trust.

Shame can be used as an early warning system that you are poised to break trust and violate another’s dignity. Your self-awareness enables you to preserve trust and safeguard your relationships.

Publicly shame people out of their jobs

Think about how it plays out in the workplace. When you embrace full responsibility for your value, your attitude and beliefs then you shape your character, and you choose your behavior. When you lead by example and uplift your colleagues, the environment reflects the values.

For instance, if you saw Zoe in a team meeting speak over another person and exclude them from the conversation your response must be “Zoe, l noticed you excluded Josie from the discussion in the team meeting. I could see her feelings were hurt. I was surprised as you usually are very patient, engaging and encouraging other’s people’s viewpoints. You are an incredible advocate in everyone’s voice being heard”.

In contrast, if you were to shame Zoe the conversation would have a different flavor – “Zoe, you acted like an overbearing mother in today’s meeting. You had no respect for your colleagues. It was all about you. Given l recommended you for the manager’s position l was embarrassed for you in front of the team, and if you continue to play at that level you will shun the team, and no one will have your back”. Imagine the impact of being Zoe and experiencing shame responses time and time again.

Modulate responses

Rather than jumping on the bandwagon when an email or post comes your way, one thing you need to learn is to modulate your responses. Sometimes, it is the 30-second pause from hitting the send, post or tweet button and giving a people a chance to clarify, explain, recant or apologize privately. When you are not involved at all, maybe asking yourself – “Why do l need to jump in and magnify the response? How is that serving you? What are you getting out of it?

What if the shamed become the bullies – are you justified?

Most of the population despises racism and discrimination of all sorts. People who say indefensibly terrible things online or offline, most people want to make them accountable. The trademark of being a bully isn’t just being mean, it involves a power differential. The bully is the one who is punching down. How often you hear stories of adults who have been bullied as children and as an adult are triggered by unresolved childhood issues. Taking past events and justifying the current behavior of shaming, judgment or aggression and wanting to “teach” them a lesson. Even if you believe your bullying is serving a greater good, the fact remains that you are engaging in bullying behavior, one punch at a time.

The antithesis of shame is empathy.

When you judge people in areas that you are vulnerable to shame, you find someone to put down, judge or criticize to get out of calling attention to you. The inner critic will drive your thinking, so if you are doing worse than l am at something, l probably will be able to survive better. When you feel great about you, your weight or how you see yourself as attractive, you won’t need to be jealous of other women, draw comparisons or make snide comments. When you believe and feel you are enough, you don’t need to put others down.

Worldwide, it is time for an intervention within our culture, the digital world and within workplaces, where compassion no longer is deficient, and empathy is the driver.

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The Art Of Letting Go by @ANGEKYOUMATTER

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by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

Have you ever been in that moment listening to the grinding replay of what was said or done, looping over and over in your head? Mastering the art of letting go comes from years of practice. One of the greatest tragedies of human behavior is seeing grown men and women who can’t stop playing the mind tape from an event that happened days, weeks, sometimes years ago.

Most of as human beings know what you need to let go of but like a sinking ship, you can’t. More like you won’t. The things that are heavying you are dead weights. As your ship keeps sinking and with all that weight on board, there is no way it’s moving any closer to land.

When you decide to hold on to the past, this prevents you from creating a strong sense of self. Some people struggle to let go of their pain or unpleasant emotions because they think those feelings are part of their identity. When their pain is intertwined with their identity, they may not know who they are without their pain.

People often hold on to pain far beyond its ability to serve them. Mistakes are replayed over and over again, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape actions in the present. You cling to frustration and worry about the future as if the act of fixation somehow ignites a superpower. Stress is stored in your body, your cells, resulting in health issues and an acceptance that this state of tension is part of the norm.

You hold on to things, situations and circumstances as in some weird way it’s fulfilling. There is comfort in familiarity and justification. Holding on to the past holds you back from achieving your true potential. At times you use the past to justify your actions and your current decision making. When you are immersed in justifying everything, that becomes part of your story and holds you back from the very thing you want.

When the facts are terrible or heartbreaking, it is human nature to blame someone else, not ourselves. You blame others for your misfortune however the energy invested in maintaining the fire of blame is on your own back. You keep the blaze going at your own emotional expense. By moving the story, you have constructed, allows you to move toward a path you want.

Let me share with you how every moment is a chance to let go and here are some ways to get started.

Choosing you

When you are indecisive about letting go of something that has been there for a while, it may feel risky and may be even a little selfish. It’s not any of those things. It’s brave. When you hang on to something that doesn’t feel right any more or that’s hurting you, one of the bravest things you can do is to listen to that. Most often the justifications are habits and stories that you tell yourself. Isn’t time to choose you over the habit?

Stay in your own lane

Leaders often engage in discussion as if they have control over other’s action. When you hear people discuss employee engagement, assumptions are made that the responsibility sits with the leader. Engagement is a choice, not something a leader can do for others. Engagement without accountability creates entitlement. Happiness is a choice and last l checked, everyone is responsible for their own happiness. By cultivating personal accountability, you determine how you live your life.

Owning your decision

Letting go can be empowering and free you of challenges where nothing else has worked. The Sedona Method, a simple method for letting go of any uncomfortable or unwanted feeling, thought or belief, by asking four questions. Allow yourself with an open mind and heart to ask yourself these questions to release unwanted thoughts and feelings out of your mind. Try them on: “Could l welcome what l’m feeling? Could l let it go? Would l let it go? When?” These questions guide your awareness into the experience of letting go.

Change your thinking, change your life.

Most of us carry powerful emotional narratives – the stories we tell ourselves about our undigested pain. People are used to living life as a series of reactions to what’s going on around them, living with tension in their body that is wreaking havoc on health and most don’t know how to be kind and compassionate with ourselves. You need to make space to choose a different response.

Quality questions to step closer to freedom

Eckhart Tolle shares in his book, A New Earth a story of two Zen monks:

Tanzan and Ekido…were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep, it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side. The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn’t restrain himself any longer. “Why did you carry that girl across the road?” he asked. “We monks are not supposed to do things like that.” “I put the girl down hours ago,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

Precious time and energy is lost as you become the prisoner from burdens of the past. Holding on to what happened or what you think should have happened. One of the greatest quality questions to ask yourself is “For what purpose?” Exploring what underlines your need to feel right, justified or validated. Oprah Winfrey acknowledges that she needed to do some conscious work to change her need of proving she was right. Change was initiated by a single question that put her on the path to freedom – “Do you want to be right or do you want peace?”

Letting go of rules you create

The most precious resources we have as human beings is time and your attention. When you hold on to resentments, you subscribe to lost time. Time you can never get back or make up. Mel Robbins, TEDx speaker, describes one of her favorite ways to protect her most valuable assets is to protect her first hour of the day at all costs. Letting go of the “rules” to respond to emails, log on to computers or look at her phone, as she diverts her attention to the things that most to her, exercising and her children.

Acceptance is the key

No one should settle. We all have a reality we must accept. No matter as much as we want to hold on to a sunset, we can’t retain everything and still lead meaningful lives. Life is fulfilling when you allow yourself to let go, to be in the moment and feel you in the moment. That is only life’s true reality.

 

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Mother-in-Law? Or Monster. What is Your Legacy? by @glowing_still

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Legacy, mother-in-law

by Johanna Galyen | Featured Contributor

Marriage may be the joining of two different people, but one cannot forget the people that are also joining this new family. The extra brothers, sisters, aunts, step-sisters, uncles, and cousins twice removed. It can make for an overwhelming family reunion, but the one person who is never forgotten is the mother-in-law.

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?  Outlaws are Wanted

The words are endless and often cruel. The complaining is non-stop. The butt of all the jokes, the endless scrutiny, eye-rolling, and sighing, the temptation to a committal to an insane asylum…is the Mother-in-Law

hubert humphrey mother-in-law

 

Before your nightmare becomes a reality…before you think that your worst fears are coming true.  Stop.  Let me tell you about a reality that is actually true.  They aren’t all nightmares.

It’s true.  Not all Mothers-in-Law’s are bad.  Before you get carried away, think about this for a moment.  If you are a woman, and you have children, there is a very good chance that one day you will be a mother-in-law. (ahem! That means, one day your children might grow up and get married!)

You are making the choices today that will decide your fate in the Mother-in-Law jokes of life.

Is all lost? Is every woman, who has a child get married, destined to this fateful sentence?

I say no.

By nature, women like to be in charge of their home.  We are responsible for menus, the color of the curtains, what our children wear, what decorations are put on the walls, and many other things.  This control is hard to let go as our children become adults.  Because, when a competing female comes into your “territory”, a cat fight can easily ensue.

With all choices in life, you have the opportunity right now to make the right decisions now.

  • Decide now to like your future daughter-in-law. Loving someone is not based on your feelings, but it is a decision.  If you decide now to choose to love her (whoever she may be) when the times comes, it will be easier
  • Teach your children now, that one day, they will grow up and leave their home. Leaving may mean moving across the street, to another city, another state, or even across the ocean.  But they will leave, and no matter where they go, you are going to be ok.  Set a date, and cut the ‘apron strings’.  She will thank you.
  • Frederick Douglas
  • Find ways to spend time with her, on her level, getting to know her for who she is.  This may mean taking her out to Starbucks for coffee or inviting her over for lunch.  Either way, to get to know someone you need to spend time with them.  The more you do this, the easier the bond of friendship can occur.
  • If she asks for advice, give it without any strings or attachments. If you can remember that advice is just that-an opinion or a suggestion-it is not a command.  While your advice may be the right course of action, it is up to her to make her own decision.  Recognizing that everyone needs to learn to make decisions for themselves, will help you to be a better mother-in-law.
  • Accept the fact that your son is now an adult, and your relationship with him will change now.  He is a man now, and he needs to continue to mature and change for the better. Just a butterfly will weaken if assisted coming out of their cocoon, your son will be stronger if he learns to do things by himself.

So the next time you laugh at another mother-in-law or monster-in-law joke, just remember. It could be you that they are laughing at in a few years. Make the right choices now to be different.  Be that mother-in-law that the family wants to be around. Learn to love, to care, cherish, and accept your new family members.

“Love can only be true love when it is allowed to be free. When it can grow, change, mature. My mother-in-law has given me a rare gift…her son.

The more you teach your children how to love and honor themselves, the easier your future will be. If you teach your children respect, then they will show respect to their future in-laws as well.  When you instill care and cherishing into your son, then he will be able to share with his wife.  If you can show him the power of love and forgiveness, then he will know how to forgive when you do make a mistake in the future.

The earlier you start becoming a more loving and caring person, the better mother-in-law you will become in the future.

You can be called blessed or your memory may be one of the nightmares.

My mother always told me that as you go through life, no matter what you do, or how you do it, you leave a little footprint, and that’s your legacy. Jan Brewer

What will be your legacy?

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