The Most Offensive 4-Letter F-word Evah by @MelindaMassie

by Melinda Massie | Featured Contributor

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I told my yoga teacher about a new project that, if I do well, will open gianormous doors.

Me: I’m nervous.

Yoga teacher: Of course you are. It’s growth.

Last time, I told you to acknowledge your emotions as part of lighting a fire and taking action. As I typed the word “fear,” I knew it needed its own article since it’s what most often holds us back.

When you really dig in, you’ll notice that many issues are rooted in fear. Anxiety, procrastination, and lame excuses all can be signals. However, unless fear is protecting you from death or injury, it’s only holding you back. Sure, we’re afraid of the unknown or change (even for the better), but that doesn’t really serve us.

So here’s fear, pouring whiskey down the throat of action. It doesn’t even have the decency to pick a good whiskey! Noooo, it’s pouring rotgut because you’re comfortable anyway, right? Stuck in the clutter, the indecision, the procrastination. Stuck not creating the home and life you want.

Sunshine, that’s just not fabulous.

If we do nothing, fear will continue to pour the cheap whiskey, refusing to leave the party.

So how do we invite it to get the hell out of our party?

Here are six ways to start engraving that invitation:

1.    Turn fear into excitement.

The best part about fear is that we can re-direct it, and fear is perfect for turning into excitement. All that is worthwhile started with some nerves and fear. The project I mentioned at the beginning of this post? It’d be SO EASY for me to turn it away because of fear. However, that doesn’t serve me, my business, or those that I’m going to help tremendously by doing it. So the next time you recognize fear, see it as an exciting opportunity instead.

2.    Step outside of your comfort zone.

While teaching dance, I had an incredibly shy student. Even after a number of studio competitions, we couldn’t crack it. It was time to bring out the big guns, so we did an international competition in Acapulco. The entire trip–flight down, competition, and even the flight back—he was a bundle of nerves. Next studio competition? Smoooooth sailing. He danced with ease and even made dive-bombing airplane noises when he dipped me! Afterwards he admitted that the Acapulco competition was exactly what he needed.  

Smaller steps can still work if you’re not ready for your own international competition. Take yourself out to dinner alone. Try something you’ve always wanted to do. If you’re working on anything artistic, host an informal show. You may even sell something! That rocks for overcoming fears! Pushing beyond your “norm” may be what’s needed to face your other fears.

3.    Surround yourself with passionate people.

This spring was my second season to perform with the incredible Fort Worth Opera. Everyone, from production to cast to admin, is not only professional and talented, but also tremendously friendly and so much FUN. It’s obvious that everyone has such passion and JOY for what they do. Not a stereotypical diva in the house. When you’re surrounded by this level of passion, it’s practically impossible not to be inspired yourself.

Do you need to perform in an opera to feel this? Nope. (Though it’d cover trick #2.) Anyone who is grounded, passionate about what they do, and reaching for their own goals will do the trick. This kind of energy is gloriously contagious.

4.    Meditate (a.k.a. Breathe)

This doesn’t have to be all earthy/crunchy—just a few moments of silence and breathing. Find a quiet, comfy spot, set a timer for a few minutes, and breathe. Mind chattering like a toddler with a sugar high? That’s okay. Re-focus on your breath until the timer goes off. This isn’t about perfection, just connecting to your breath and trying to quiet the mind. I like to do this first thing in the morning before anything else gets in the way. It always pays me back in better attitude, focus, and productivity.  

Throughout your day, whenever you feel fear, anxiety, or inaction coming on, just take a moment for a big, fat, deep breath. I do this with my clients all the time and it always helps. Deep breathing rocks!

5.    Move it.

There’s nothing like a little movement to get the juices flowing and help you get unstuck. It doesn’t have to be much. Walk around the block. Crank up some music and dance around the room. Even stand on your head! Just take a quick break to get some movement. The break and motion can sometimes knock things loose in your head to help take control over the situation at hand.

6.    Remind yourself of past accomplishments.

I know you’ve got some awesome accomplishments in your past. Maybe you were the Corn Queen of 1976. Maybe you happily crawled across the finish line of a 5K or completed your third Iron Man. Any time you’ve accomplished or overcome something, you’ve proven to yourself that you CAN do it …which means you can do it again.

When we get down to it, fear will never leave forever. We always have to suck it up, feel the fear, and do it anyway. You can’t get anywhere great if you don’t. So face some fears. Kick their ass. And go forth and be awesome.

Photo Credit: Tracy Nachelle Photography


Professional Organizer – Melinda Massie of Organizing with a Side of Fabulous – Ft. Worth, TX

Headshot - croppedOften called a healer, therapist of stuff and the organizing ninja, Melinda Massie is the owner of Organizing with a Side of Fabulous in Fort Worth, TX. If your home is a hot mess then she’ll help you take control over the clutter so you can make your home fabulous. Combining her sensible, no-fuss organizing philosophies with a vivacious personality and healthy dose of “redhead,” she makes getting organized suck less. As a former professional ballroom dancer and event planner, she also brings in some sparkle and entertainment to the process.

Melinda was named Best Personal Organizer 2011 by Fort Worth, Texas Magazine and Most Glamorous Home-Based Business in the 2011 StartupNation Home-Based 100. Her tips have been seen in Woman’s Day, SHAPE and many other local and national publications.

In her free time, Melinda enjoys yoga, cooking and eating indulgent food and believes that champagne is meant for the everyday.

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