by Britt Michaelian
We’ve all felt it at one time or another… I know I certainly have!
That nagging feeling that you SHOULD be focusing 100% on your kids. That somehow they will be – messed up – if you focus on yourself or your dreams even a little.
Life is short. You never know how many tomorrows you are going to have. So…
STOP LISTENING TO YOUR INNER CRITIC ALREADY!
Turn that BIG, LOUD MEANIE into a little, puny, cute ball of softness that is loving and gives you helpful, actionable feedback that supports your vision. Make it a team member. It’s your inner dialog and you need to get control over it if you want to move ahead.
The truth is, Mom Guilt does no one any good and it certainly doesn’t make you a better mom. Does it make you happy to shame yourself for wanting to have a life? Of course not. I would say although we all go there at times… mom guilt does much more damage than good. And if you let it creep in too often, you may find yourself irritable, resentful or worse… holding back your true self and your true life desires.
It’s time to make a decision that you are not going to let your inner critic take center stage anymore. There is a difference between assessing your actions for effectiveness and being unproductively critical of yourself.
One sign that your critic has recently been overactive… GUILT. Give it a name. Tell it to take a long, well-deserved time out. Then give a name to your cheerleader and give her a voice.
Once you are firm in your decision to unleash your inner-spiritual-cheerleader guru, you will need to put that critic in it’s place…
3 Surefire Ways to Kick Mom Guilt to the Curb Once and For All.
1. Give yourself permission to be who you are and do what you want to do in life because your kids are watching. Of course, I’m not talking about going crazy and reenacting your crazy college days or going into super-narcissist mode. I’m talking about creating a plan to leave your legacy on this planet. You only get one shot, you may as well hit it out of the park. Right? So, what do you want to be remembered for?
Realize that as long as you are leading the life you were born to live and consistently using your talents and gifts, you are a role model for your kids. If you have ambition which translates into growing a career or business, that means that your kids will have a role model in the event that they choose to pursue their own passions. Is that a bad thing? Of course not. Kids don’t have enough positive role models these days. They need ambitious and supportive moms.
However, if you have dreams of doing great things after your kids leave the home and you put off doing the things that satisfy you in life, what kind of message does that send to your kids? And by the way, how easy do you think it will be to instantly tap into this passion that has been sidelined for years while you focused only on your kids? Will it just spring back the instant you decide the kids don’t need you as much anymore?
Step into your role model shoes and walk the catwalk, mama! Strut your stuff and be proud in the name of ROLE MODELING!
2. Find your super-heroes. Surround yourself with people who support your vision. This is one of the biggest hurdles many of us face and it doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends with people who think you need to be June Cleaver, it just means you must limit the amount of time you spend with them. It also means you need to seek out a support team that will encourage you to find your life purpose and help you do what you need to do to do your thang!
3. What’s the opposite of your inner critic? Be your own cheerleader! Mom guilt is a direct result of an overactive inner critic. If you can’t be your own cheerleader, it will be impossible to emotionally support anyone else. It is unlikely that anyone can completely get rid of their inner critic, but you can give your inner cheerleader a megaphone! If you can’t think of how to get positive thoughts about yourself flowing, start reading books on affirmations (I recommend Noah St. John’s book The Secret Code of Success).
The bottom line is that mom guilt does not keep moms in check. It plays no positive role in our lives other than to make us feel badly and hold us back from achieving great things. If you have dreams to make the world a better place, it’s time to take action by getting rid of the guilt and focusing on your successes and your gifts.
Life is too short to feel bad about being an amazing person.
Now, are you ready to start kicking some inner critic booty? I am!
Britt Michaelian, M.A. is a mom, writer, artist, speaker and serial entrepreneur who is driven to inspire other moms to actively live their life purpose. Britt makes it super easy for moms to reconnect with their passion and take simple, but powerful steps toward achieving their dreams.
Find out what is going on with Britt at the very honest, inspiring and helpful Work Smart Mompreneurs Blog at: http://www.worksmartmompreneurs.com/blog/
Follow Britt on Twitter: @MamaBritt