As Valentine’s Day approaches we are thinking about our relationship with our spouse or partner or significant other. Relationship is usually used to describe a connection between two people and I think it should also be used to describe how we relate to money.
Our relationship with money isn’t just about when we physically pay for something in a shop or make a purchase online with an easy click, it’s also about how we feel about money and the money messages that we have in our heads.
Big Money, No Saving
A few years ago a colleague shared a story about one of her former clients. Her client was a successful business woman living in New York City. She was at top of her game earning a six figure salary and enjoying her life in the Big Apple. However, there was a problem; she had no savings. What came in immediately went out again, and she was worried that she would end up living on a park bench if she didn’t make some changes.
Lesson Learned Early
After some reflection she began to see a pattern in her life. As a child her parents would borrow money from her on the weekends when they were going out and short on cash. They never paid her back. As she became more successful family members and friends would borrow money from her, and they wouldn’t pay her back. This pattern was repeated many times. What this successful woman realized is that she had decided not to save money so that no one could borrow it from her and then not pay it back. This was her way of taking control of her money and protecting herself from disappointment. What a powerful lesson to have learned. “If I don’t have it, no one can take it”.
She could suddenly see that she did not have a healthy relationship with money and this was a starting point to move forward. It was an opportunity to create new money habits and to create a new healthy relationship with money, but first she had to understand that she actually had a relationship with money.
Do you understand your relationship with money? Do you have a money story that has impacted your relationship with money? Taking a look back can often enable us to take the first big step forward when it comes to managing money better.
Julie Feuerborn, CFP© is Julie The Money Coach which is the business she founded to empower others to take control of their financial destiny.
Clarifying the financial world for her clients is her passion. She eliminates the fear around making financial decisions by educating and mentoring (and sometimes hand holding) which creates financial confidence. She loves when a client understands the role money plays in her life because it creates peace of mind and because it adds a whole new level of possibilities for her clients to live the life they deserve.
Julie has followed her dream and since 1994 Julie has divided her time between Colorado and the UK with her husband and the youngest of their four children. She currently lives in rural England where she enjoys going for long walks and watching the sheep in the fields. Her other passions include international travel, reading, yoga, meditation, hiking and camping.
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