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Potential Power Lies in Your Personality by @SBSLEducSoltns

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( A walk in the personality ‘park’ under temperament ‘trees’ & social style ‘leaves’  )

Personalities.

 

We all have one.

And we know others do, too.

Far from an earth shattering observation, mind you.  Yet, why do so many entrepreneurially minded pros, whether in a sales role, running a micro or small business, or self-employed ( CPA, consultant ), not lean into their personality type, or gloss over them entirely?

One root reason?  Conventional classroom based schooling, whether primary/secondary (‘K-12’), collegiate/undergrad, even graduate program studies, oft times don’t include it in curricula, required or elective.

I’ve discussed becoming a self educated, lifelong learner, with no expectation of credentials before; now this becomes ever more valuable, since there are so many ‘trees’, with multi colored ‘leaves’ in this ‘park’. Said another way, there’s much to share about how much potential power there is in knowing about your own personality & temperament, let alone those of your client/customer, your staff, & your prospects.

 

 

Going Beyond Generic Labels

 

“You’re too much of an introvert, Emma. Join us at happy hour to network! ”

 

“I think I’m an extrovert, Lianne; do you agree?”

 

Introvert. Extrovert.

Two commonly mouthed words in many professional workplaces in all industries, in your home office, & at the coffee shop.

 

We should be more specific; we mustn’t over complicate matters, however, the more we can unpack ( depth ) & expand our horizons ( width ), it’ll benefit our businesses in a number of different ways.

 

 

Everything DISC

 

The DISC model has a long & storied history

( to trace it: Timeline )

 

DISC ** is unencumbered by complexity; most anyone can clearly interpret the results from the assessment.

I stress that it’s an assessment & spotlights preferences & tendencies, and is not a test, nor an exam.

 

If you’re having challenges with closing sales, or tend to be someone who wants to please everyone, you just might be an ‘S’.

Are you often inadvertently forgetting appointments, or talking your way out of a deal?  Say ‘hi, ‘I’ !’

Maybe you’ve had issues with turnover, or staff satisfaction in your workplace?  Look into swapping your ‘leader’ , who is a ‘D’ style , for someone else.

Or, perhaps you need someone to do your financials for you that won’t miss a single number?  Put a ‘C’ in this position.

 

 

Personality Plus

 

This model was the first that I learned about, not long after my professional development journey began nine years ago this month.

 

While the roots of it are birthed in faith, please don’t assume or close your mind off to how it can apply to any type of workplace, for a sales manager/team, or in your home based business.

 

The four types which Mrs. Littauer discusses have history stretching back millennia, to ancient times. One small drawback is a need to learn, or brush up ( if you’ve been classically, or liberal arts centric educated ) on what ‘choleric’, ‘sanguine’, ‘phlegmatic’, & ‘melancholy’ mean, before you read the books *** & take the assessment.

 

I’ve found much value in combining DISC & Personality + together when I talk with others; it’s a double dose of learning how to better walk in the ‘personality park’.

*** please see below for all 3 #mustreads

 

 

MBTI   

 

Myers-Briggs [Type Indicator/s] usually is the 1st to be recognized: some would say it exemplifies what marketers refer to as the ‘First-Mover Advantage’

 

This isn’t to downplay its value due to age, or perhaps apparent complexity. There’s much value in being aware of it, & perhaps deploying in your assessment ‘toolbox’ for talent, or people development; sales training; & as a high value input into hiring, firing, & promotability decision making.

MBTI Online is a great place to start to build understanding of this model’s philosophical underpinnings and practical applicability to your business/workplace, and you’ll also find certain consultants, trainers, & coaches who leverage it, such as Jeff ( someone I know fairly well. )

 

Tying it Together

 

Silo’ed results, in any business let alone an academic setting, isn’t ideal. So, let’s do our best to intermingle all 3 measures of personality, temperament, & social style together.

 

MBTI’s ‘E’ & ‘J’ =  ‘D’ (ISC) = ‘Choleric’  while ‘N’ & ‘P’ = ( D ‘I’ (SC)) = ‘Sanguine’ , as ‘I’ & ‘F’ = (DI ‘S’ ( C)) = ‘Phlegmatic’ , & … lastly, MBTI’s ‘S’ & ‘T’ = ((DIS) ‘C’ ) = ‘Melancholy’

 

Lots of letters …

Some lingo/language that might be unfamiliar, let alone the acronym.

 

Please embrace your walk, and study the leaves under the trees. 🙂

 

 

Suggested Social Profiles

 

Everything DISC

 

MBTI

 

Personality + ‘s  Marita (daughter of Florence)

 

Interested in More?

 

There are gold & silver veins below the surface of this ‘park’.

Please invest time to buy your entrepreneurial pickaxe, plan a trip, and begin your dig!

 

Best Personality Assessment

Top 10 Most Popular

*** All suggested books in the series ( PP 4 Parents ; PP – Original Bk ; & PP 4 Couples )

MBTI to DISC

 

 

In short …

 

  • The ‘gap’ : why personalities, temperaments, & social styles oft aren’t utilized.
  • Generic labels
  • Model 1 > DISC
  • Pers + >> Model 2
  • Model 3 >>> MBTI
  • Intermingling all three models
  • To continue your journey

 

Thank YOU for reading!

________________

Disclaimer: I’m an authorized partner & recommend DISC ahead of others, however, I’m very open minded & often will intermingle other models/assessments in my 1:1 mentoring, consulting projects, & family advising.

The Fine Art Of Leaning Into Environments In The Workplace, Even When It’s Difficult By @ANGEKYOUMATTER

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by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

Workplace conflict is on the rise. Whether it be with colleagues, clients, bosses, or navigating work relationships, you need to use your voice rather than avoid these situations. When you don’t speak up, you remain trapped in your conflict.

At times, conflict is needed.

Many humans skirt the chance to confront challenges or opt to avoid conflict when given an opportunity. Your fight or flight response kicks in when faced with potential threats, and often, the flight is much easier. When you avoid addressing workplace issues, they will fester than face away. Whether it be interpersonal issues, job function challenges, or personality quirks, conflicts are inevitable. Working towards a resolution is ecological for all involved – you, your team, and your organization.

Maybe your boss lashed out at you during a team meeting, or your direct report started to cry while you are giving feedback, or perhaps a business partner hung up the phone on you. Whether it be self-preservation, people tend to do everything they can to avoid the most obvious solution: talking. Recognizing the need for an awkward conversation is a starting point.

Being direct is an art-form that many people never master. Being too direct can have you labeled as rude, inconsiderate, or intimidating. On the flip side, if you avoid being direct, being a push-over or follower comes to mind. Either way, labels that you don’t want to adopt.

Most professionals are phenomenal at arguing on behalf of their clients, yet many don’t welcome having tough personal conversations. Rather than avoid, why isn’t your instinct to lean in? People invest their energy into all the negative consequences of their interactions.

The cost of inaction results in ongoing tension and stress. The feeling of being stuck only compounds over time. When you shift your approach and instill a new habit of stepping into difficult conversations, it can be a game changer. Imagine the benefits of not having to spend hours or weeks avoiding conversations, immersing yourself in the inherent underlying fear about them, and instead of the energy of possibility of a successful resolution.

The key is to learn how to produce a better outcome for all while keeping your relationship intact. Consider the following strategies to break through the resistance of mental obstacles by taking the first step to lean in.

Intention is everything

Catering to an audience is an important skill to keep in mind. Delivering constructive comments, without personalizing and finding a tone that adopts an empathetic approach is your priority. When being direct, remain to the facts, keep a measured tone, listen to the talking points, empathize with their response, and breathe when it’s time to respond. Listen to understand, not respond.

Get Uncomfortable

There is a certain level of messiness when dealing with difficult conversations. Getting comfortable with the uncertainty of the outcome is what often consumes people’s thoughts.

Adopt a frame of understanding the nature of difficult conversations and how to handle them, identify the preferred strategies for managing these conversations and use enhanced listening and empathy in a way that minimizes tension and conflict and strengths relationships

Adeptly navigate the murky waters.

When a swag of negative emotions is involved, people avoid talking to those whose behaviors create problems. You talk about them and not to them. Avoidance kicks in, and difficult conversations become foreign concepts.

People make the mistake of avoiding what is uncomfortable, scary or challenging. They choose to lay low or invest in seeking comfort from others who are just as uncomfortable and disagree with the behavior that is causing the difficulty.

When avoidance is the chosen response, people continue to stay stuck. Frustration accelerates, trust remains low, productivity lowers, health and wellbeing become compromised, and problems fester.

Decide to have the conversation or not.

You always have a choice, to have a conversation or not. Not choosing is still a choice. If you decide not to have the conversation, then you have the responsibility of moving on and letting it go.

If you choose to participate in the conversation, check the ego at the door alongside the soapbox of opinions, or morals. In the workplace, organizational values must be the platform for the discussion to launch from, to discuss workplace behavior and establish agreements on how to move on.

Kickstart the conversation

Begin the conversation by stating its purpose and your intention to come to some resolution. When you separate facts from emotion, you can articulate what you know to be true objectively and minimize the opportunity for the conversation to escalate.

By being present during the conversation, you are open to listening and acknowledging their views and engaging in a solution-focused discussion. Being problem-saturated helps no one.

Embrace the pause

During conversations, it can be tempting to fill the silence. Embracing the silence, and embodying the pause, creates an opportunity for the other person to feel listened and valued. Be respectful, patient, and open to walking in another person’s shoes.

Breathe in the Moment

The calmer and more centered you are, the better you respond to difficult conversations. Practice mindfulness where you focus on your breath. It creates a space where you can refocus and collect your thoughts.

Determine what is fact from the story.

Ask quality questions such as:

  • What do you know for sure?
  • What would add more value right now?
  • What are the facts? List all the facts and ask yourself, do you know that for sure? Is it a fact or part of a story l am telling myself?
  • What are you committing to move forward?
  • What is the simplest, fastest yet more thorough way to make this happen?

Find common areas of agreement on how you will both move forward and work together.

Lessons Learned

After a courageous conversation, it is worthwhile to reflect post discussion and consider what went well, would be improved, and what were the lessons learned from the experience. Reflect on the tone of the meeting, the responses, and could have there been a different approach. Investing in observing mentors leading these conversations is an opportunity to emulate their language, strategy, and tactics. Having courageous conversations is not just a skill, it is brave.

 

 

The Energy of Entrepreneurship by @SBSLEducSoltns

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( A flyover of all the glorious forms of creating your own asset )

Just as a strong case can be made that entrepreneurship & education are intertwined, so the same can be said for energy & entrepreneurship. How many business owners do you know who live day to day with boundless determination?  Joy? A skip in their steps?

 

We have a B-i-G opportunity! We should encourage entrepreneurship’s many forms so the energy in our society is always flowing, & many new assets are created to better ourselves, families, communities, nations, & beyond!

 

Describing Our Economy

 

Thought leaders have been using various labels:

 

Conceptual Age

 

Gig economy

 

Youpreneur

 

Multisided platforms ( ‘Matchmaker Economics’ )

 

You might wonder; how do these inform, inspire, & instigate citizens to leave mediocrity behind to embrace these energetic forms of entrepreneurship?

Inform(ation)

 

With conventional classrooms in all 3 tracks very slow to adapt to the modern era, as entrepreneurs, we can share stories, teachable moments, & connections with those in our own, as well as younger, generations.

Welcome any opportunities to be someone’s mentor, advisor, or coach. Focus on paying forward crucial knowledge to others. Serve 1st always!

 

Inspire (-ation)

 

Often, entrepreneurship is not a soft fluffy bed; it’s part of the charm of the day to day journey to struggle at times! Anything that comes ‘easy’ often has more downside than engaging in smart x hard work building a business.

Don’t hide this from those whom you talk with, yet don’t muddy the clear lens of a passionate individual who wants to be a difference maker. Inspire her by adding value, w/ no stated expectation of reward or return.

 

Instigate ( lighting sparks )

 

Those who deeply understand principles such as the ‘Five Laws …’ & ‘Law of Attraction’  should be beacons of inspired instigation in her circles of influence.

The sparks lit in the fire pits of today will lead to the solutions of tomorrow.

So many of our most pressing societal challenges can be solved with entrepreneurial energy; if you flip back through the pages of history, you’ll see this jump off the pages.

 

7 Forms

 

Now, we transition from the most valuable question, why?, to what? +

 

( + we’ll leave out ‘how’; JFK’s 1962 Rice Univ Speech is the model for why not to focus on this Q )

 

Franchisor/franchisee

 

  • Franchise consultants set up shop to help someone who has the liquid capital to purchase a brand & its intellectual property, turnkey system/s, & in many cases, a ‘bricks & mortar’ location. Franchisees are far from cutting edge concept; although if you were talking with your grandparent(s), they would tell you that at 1 point, it was new & barely understood!

 

Solo-preneurial / proprietor

 

  • This is the simplest form. How do you monetize? Choices inc. hour for dollar billing ( ‘self employed’, creating your own job ); using a retainer; or working on a project basis. As with any form, there are pluses & the opposite; yet, if you’re very new to entrepreneurship, keeping things uncomplicated may be your wisest choice.

 

Gig / freelancer / contractor

 

  • Gig based businesses abound in our modern age; do depth based research to find options best for you.  Freelancing is very common in right brained, creative pursuits like social media, content/digital marketing, & writing.  Finally, being a contractor for a larger enterprise where you are offered more flexibility than an old school W-2 employee could very well be a win:win arrangement.

 

Broker / Agent

 

  • Insurance & real estate:  Both have high name recognizance, even by those who have never been entrepreneurial. Many of the agencies & companies operating in these very mature industries are always looking for someone who is servant minded & willing to tailor a solution to the consumer/prospective policyholder or buyer/seller ‘s unique needs.

 

Direct Sales

 

  • This form is newer on the block than its sister ( see below ).  How is it different than Ntwk Mkt/MLM?  It often generates income for the owner through the promotion of events versus growing a team.  For instance, you set up a cooking demo, offer products to those that attend at a % off, & build a relationship with them that goes beyond 1 transaction. Often, social media is used most often by these consultants, hosts, & associates.

 

Network Marketing ( MLM )

 

  • A mature form, when compared to its brother ( scroll up ), they’ve been options for upwards of a century! Yet, there is still much mis-understanding, inaccurate representation of its legality/lawfulness, etc.  This form is absolutely viable, esp. for those with people skills; those who are patient & don’t expect income overnight; or someone who is able to lead another by serving her first, a fundamental for building a team that replaces you.

 

Licensor / licensee

 

  • The licensee model is essentially ‘franchisee lite‘.  It has many elements of the latter, yet it doesn’t necessitate a bricks & mortar storefront;  often, you can be a mobile-preneur ( easily able to work at a coffee shop, coworking facility, or at home ). Licensors offer intellectual capital ( logos, brand awareness, a systems based approach to building revenue & cash flow ) in exchange for a 1 time, or recurring payment(s).

 

Lots of – ‘Preneurs!  Which are you?!

 

Profiles Worth Following

 

Sidepreneur

 

Mompreneurs

 

Teenpreneur Inc

 

Self directed Educational links

 

Employee vs Entrepreneur – Which is Riskier?

Actually, Starting Your Own Company …

Becoming an Entrepreneur …

 

In short …

 

  • Describing today’s economy
  • Inform, inspire, & instigate
  • 7 forms of energy: entrepreneurial options
  • Types of -preneurs
  • Three Twitter handles
  • For further learning …

 

Thank YOU for reading!

CoWorking is Cutting Edge ( and Cool! A Primer. ) by @SBSLEducSoltns

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Coworking is a remarkable concept that will enable many additional citizens to pursue their callings in entrepreneurship without the pratfalls of the prior 2 eras, the blue & white collar industrial ages.

 

No longer will the price tag, complexity, or fear of having to sign a multi-year lease, or rent to (eventually) own agreement be a stumbling block to the dream to be in control of your income stream(s); you’re now sharing costs & concurrently joining an entrepreneurial tribe.

 

What is coworking?!

 

This is a superb definition

 

Think it over: We’ve really only had this option for little more than a decade. Running parallel to the astonishing rise of social media & the proliferation of smart devices, co-working grew from humble beginnings.

 

At this point, choosing to become a member of an existing co working space, whether it’s new, or well established, tags you as a late ‘early adopter’ or at the onset of the ‘early majority’ class(es) of business owner/professional.

 

Intrigued to know more?  Please click here.

 

Options for your business’ physical presence

 

All things being equal, there are 4 choices:

 

  • Work from home.  The flexibility of merging personal & professional lives under 1 roof always has appeal. Yet, if you’re a mom-preneur, have other neighborly commitments, or are easily distracted by the mass media, you might want to ask the hard question: will you be productive, or will you be ‘’busy’ ?

 

  • The ‘coffee shop’ = office.  Whether its an independent cafe, Starbucks, or Panera Bread, maybe you arrive early in the AM, order coffee & bagel, set up your notebook/tablet in the far corner near an outlet, & start working; that remains viable for some amongst us.

  • Conventional ‘bricks & mortar’.  Some business models & professions simply must have their own physical space:  Medical office/clinic? Restaurant/bar? Retail, esp. a clothing store?

 

  • And, then, there’s coworking. This article breaks down common options that most any space in your metro area will, or already is, offering.

 

Click to Tweet

 

“We break down walls so that we can breakthrough in our businesses!”

 

— Cynthia Chiam

 

Plusses of Coworking

 

Choose from the 4 above; none are ‘wrong’ – each option will appeal to someone & that someone might be you. However, let’s focus on the benefits of coworking.

 

You quite likely will …

  • Save a significant amount
  • Opt into various perks ( who doesn’t love ‘complimentary’ coffee?!? )
  • Find flexibility ( month to month arrangements are commonplace )
  • Learn how easy it can be to ‘barter’ services &/or products with your community/tribe

 

What if …

 

… co working hasn’t yet come to my area?

Take heart: many visionaries haven’t yet pushed outside the top 25 metros.

As always, there’s a trail of ‘breadcrumbs’ that the profit motive will enable, bringing facilities to your city.

 

One pioneer shares his vision – click here to read a short Q&A w/ him.

 

How Does Co Working fit into the Gig Economy?

 

Jim Collins, in his terrific book, ‘Great by Choice’, taught us to be able to zoom in & zoom out.

 

Let’s zoom out …

 

… & answer this Q.

 

  • 1st, co working is similarly flexible.  Do your research & check as many options as exist in your area; most spaces heartily welcome entrepreneurs who don’t want to sign multi-year deals.
  • 2nd, the Gig economy spotlights project ( ‘gig’ ) based ‘work’; so does a co-working space. You can run this type of business easily & find much joy in the process
  • Next, this economy encourages interdependence, as does the coworking option. Your ‘benefits’ ( insurance, investment vehicle/s ) could very well come in a barter agreement with a sales pro who offers them to solopreneurs & sits right next to you in the space.
  • Last, your ability to be cash flow positive is accelerated; you can keep your prices aligned with your ideal avatars & earn more without having to pay steep lease or rent payments.

Suggested Profiles

 

Using hashtag #coworking as a starting point, I suggest 3 Twitter handles worth a follow:

 

Deskmag

 

kowrkdotcom

 

New Worker Magazine

 

If you happen to be in, or looking to move to, central OH …

… the options are a plenty! Here’s a quick primer on some tip top choices:

 

CoHatch

 

Brickhouse Blue

 

Haven Collective

 

&  Serendipity Labs

 

Fantastic ‘All in 1’ Resources

 

As with any topic, the internet is a treasure trove of goodness, when used for altruistic means.

 

Co-working is no exception to this mantra. Here are a handful:

 

https://www.visualcapitalist.com/visualizing-rise-co-working-spaces/

* the BEST. The infographic on the above from December 2018 is amazing!

 

Top 60 CoWorking Blogs, Websites, & …

 

From coworking spaces to who is …

 

In the Gig Economy, Coworking spaces …

 

In short …

 

  • What exactly is coworking? Let’s explore.
  • 4 options you have for locating your business.
  • The positives of choosing coworking
  • Coworking’s a big trend, yet it’s not everywhere yet. It will be, though. Stay tuned!
  • Coworking & the Gig Economy are ‘fellow travelers’ = deeply interrelated.
  • The Twitterverse, unsurprisingly, has valuable handles worth following

 

Thank YOU for reading!

Consumer v. Producer : Which are YOU? by @SBSLEducSoltns

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Stretching your Entrepreneurial Thinking

While entrepreneurs will always consume certain resources, no different from our staff, or other citizens,, we shouldn’t think through a consumer lens nor should we spend precious time being one. So, let’s shake things up!

 

While reading, please invest time to ask yourself some questions. As I often advise mentees, be reflective; forego being reflexive or reactive. The difference is profound.

 

The Consumer

Per Dictionary.com , … origin: 14th C [1375–1425] = “squanderer”

 

What a strong connotation! Do we really desire to have our business(es) associated with this definition, even if its meaning has evolved somewhat over the passage of time?!

 

Why are we ‘encouraged’ , compelled, or even shamed into consuming?

The answer is too complex to address in a blog post, yet, we are able to unravel some characteristics of a consumerist.

 

He/She/They …

 

  • Oft carry a considerable amount of consumer debt
  • Will be watching, listening to, or reading lots of content from the mass media*
  • Quite likely is a side-preneur still receiving a regular paycheck as a W-2’er
  • Fairly often feel uncomfortable discussing economics or talking about money/finances

& …

  • Might use words like ‘retail therapy’, be distressed** , and/or focused on material things

( inc. transactions to make more $ versus building business relationships. )

 

Click to Tweet

 

“Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer. He is by constitution expensive, and needs to be rich.”

 

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Sign of a Consumerist

 

Self deception ( vid clip HERE ) is strong; maybe we know in the depths of our soul, by looking at our financial statements, or just in our gut that we are living a consumerist life while building our entrepreneurial venture/s, yet … we outwardly deny it, in our self-talk, our conversations with others, etc.

 

If you do this, you’re not alone. Some signals, both implicit & explicit to home in on & eventually course correct include:

 

  • Not paying off credit cards monthly
  • Driving in a vehicle that you don’t actually own
  • Expensive office space which raises your rates needlessly
  • Not leveraging the countless discount programs/apps/memberships available
  • Buying costly drinks or meals while at events

 

What’ll it Take … a ‘voice of courage’

Laying the groundwork for a major mindset shift will clearly impact all spheres of your business ‘being’ :  heart, mind, spirit/soul, & financial. Yet, it’s still January, and here’s hoping that you invested quality time and treasure creating and then taking action to live out these 2019 mantras, goals, or habit transformations instead.

 

If you’ve not yet carved a line item in your business blueprint for a mentor, a coach, or a niche consultant

( a good friend is ideal for the latter: Cherish Your World/Feng Shui Consultant ),  … now would be a great time!

 

A Producer’s Model

Defined here , with its synonyms including ‘builder’ & ‘creator’; which leads me to ask a few questions:

 

Don’t we all want to be known, in our branding, sales, & marketing, as these things?

Why would we knowingly choose its opposite?

 

Which characteristics might ID this type of business pro?

 

He/She/They …

 

  • Understand Y.D.I.L ***  when it comes to their finances/money ‘mind’.
  • Participate in social capital creating/expanding actions: Connecting others, serving in their communities, & building ‘roots & wings’ in their households.
  • Have eschewed a paycheck from a 3rd party & are sustaining on dollars earned through serving & solving.
  • Understand the value of time > money.  ( read previous post )

& …

  • Oft use words like legacy, leadership, leverage, significance, & value in everyday conversation.

 

Suggested Profiles

 

Brent Wehmeyer

 

Eric Kim

 

Producers Manifesto Poster

 

*** More on Y.D.I.L.

Y = You, Inc. [ ‘investing’ in your mind – trillion $+ ‘real estate’ ]

 

D = {consumer} debt [ pay off, or better yet, bypass proactively ]

 

I = Investments [ mainstream financial vehicles ]

 

L = Lifestyle [ far better to live below or right at par/your means ]

 

By committing to this informal, yet powerful acronym, my entire financial picture & level of consciousness, were shifted, bit by bit.

= I became a producer!

 

You can, too.

Starting, and perhaps expanding,  your business mustn’t originate from the scraps on your monetary table: It should be the main course, growing in parallel with your self-leadership as the “CEO” of You, Inc.

 

Value squared

Many thought leaders have previously opined on similar topic/s; I’m always pleased to cross reference their content & encourage readers in this community to learn more about them.

 

Their specialized knowledge, paired with mine, should generate lots of value for you, the reader.

 

The Producers Manifesto

Consumer v. Producer

Start Every Day as a Producer …

* Infographic – What is the ‘mass media’?

** https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/types-of-stressors-eustress-vs-distress/

 

In short …

 

  • Know the clear differences b/w a consumer(ist) & a producer
  • Click to Tweet the Emerson quote: there’s a very elevated level of consciousness within it.
  • Invest time to click on the links provided to follow the bread crumb trail of wisdom
  • Connect with the suggested social media accounts & thank them for being producers 🙂
  • Paint yourself with a producer’s Picassian flair!  #BeAnExample
  • Y.D.I.L. is very insightful, yet very contrarian.

 

Thank YOU for reading!

Let She Owns It Promote YOU! Bloggers Wanted. Open Call For Featured Contributors.

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by Melissa Stewart

We are looking for a few amazing women (and men) to share their inspiration and expertise with the She Owns It community. Featured contributors will be selected based on their level of expertise in their particular fields. Featured contributors must be able to commit to partnering with She Owns It from January through June 2018 and writing a minimum of 6 posts.

-> APPLY HERE! <-

Here are some subjects we are interested in:

  • Entrepreneurship
  • Small Business
  • Marketing & Advertising
  • Public Relations
  • Social Media
  • Product Development
  • Success
  • Inspiration
  • Graphic Design
  • Branding
  • Online Strategies – Website and Email
  • Legal
  • Accounting
  • Human Resources
  • Operations and Business Strategy
  • Customer Service Programs
  • Startups
  • Entrepreneur Success Stories & Inspiration
  • Creative Entrepreneurs
  • Better Blogging
  • Recipes & Tips for Healthy Living
  • Crowdfunding
  • Venture Capital
  • Web Design
  • Dressing for Success
  • Podcasting

…or tell us your expertise & we can create a category just for you!

Here’s how it works:

Featured Contributors will commit to six months with She Owns It.  Each Featured Contributor will provide six unique posts during their six month commitment.  They can be written articles or video posts.

Our Featured Contributors will receive:

  •     Listing under Featured Contributors on the She Owns It site
  •     Bios and pictures on every post submitted.
  •     Exposure through our social media networks on Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

  •     A woman entrepreneur that has seen success in business.
  •     A woman who is an expert in her industry or field.
  •     A woman who has excelled in a specific area of business.
  •     A woman who is committed to helping other women.
  •     OPEN to men with the same qualifications!

If  this sounds like you, we encourage you to apply.

Have questions? Reach out to Melissa Stewart, at melissa (at) sheownsit (dot) com

-> APPLY HERE! <-

Application DEADLINE is December 31st.

The Faces Of Shame @AngeKYoumatter

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by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

The digital world has given a voice to the people on a scale never seen before. At its worst, it is a weapon of mass destruction. The digital world has amplified slander, intensified bullying and masticated reputations like a lion chewing a piece of meat.  Shaming has become a digital centerpiece that can destroy lives and livelihoods.

No one is immune to shaming. Whether it be the stay at home mum, a woman period-shamed at work  or the 70-year-old female body shamed at the gym . One tweet, one article or a post captures the fat shaming, slut shaming or career shaming that runs rapidly across the globe.

Public shaming has been synonymous with the justice system dating back centuries where petty criminals were sentenced to public floggings, drawing in large crowds and binding communities to ensure justice was served. Today, public shaming continues as a form of punishment. Whether it requires shoplifters to carry signs stating they stole, or a Californian state website that contains the names of people who don’t pay their taxes or gossip in a workplace, shaming has such a scale and speed that the results can be soul destroying.

In a TED Talk “When Online Shaming Goes Too Far” Jon Ronson shares the story of Justine Sacco who sent an ill-considered tweet in 2013 that blew up her life between her flight from London to South Africa. A 64-character tweet and with only 170 twitter followers, ignited an international feeding frenzy of online mob mentality expressing collective rage, her name synonymous with racism, her hashtag #HasJustineLandedYet waiting for her public hanging. As a former senior director of corporate communications, she was to find her fate via a twitter post advising of her termination. Justine was publicly sentenced and hung out to dry for a holiday tweet that had no intent behind it.

Women’s behavior is still subject to much scrutiny, and if the narrative is not adhered to, then shaming is activated. Despite the feminist movement, slut-shaming continues in great force around the globe. In August 2018, Rachel Hundley, a council member in Sonoma, California received a threatening email accusing her of immoral and unethical behavior and demanding she drop out of the city council race or a website with photos of her from Burning Man would be released. Serena Williams shamed on social media for her supposedly “large” and “masculine” appearance. Amy Cuddy gets your “power pose” on her Ted Talk which originated from noticing a gender grade gap among her students at Harvard Business School. Despite her critics and shameful attacks on her and her research publicly, she intended to help empower women in the workplace, even little girls.

Let’s delve into the good, the bad and the uglies of shame.

Self-shamer

Shame is that deep, painful feeling attached to how you negatively see yourself. You identify yourself as bad, mad, flawed or less than what you ought to be. The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. Here is your opportunity – embrace that you are human and experience shame or embrace the first step of the 12-step recovery program, “l am a sociopath.”

In the book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown describes shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” When you delve in deeper, Brown differentiates between guilt and shame. Guilt being “l did something bad”, shame equating to “I am bad.” Shame embodies blame, and when you step into that moment, you deflect all responsibility.

Shame can be an early warning system

Shame tells you when you have hurt someone. When you have crossed a boundary that violates a person’s dignity. It grabs your attention, and if you pause long enough, you have an opportunity to correct your behavior. I’m sure you have heard yourself in the workplace in that fleeting moment– “You are so self-centered”, “You only care about yourself and not the team”, “You took our idea and made it be your own”,  or “Sweetheart you are too big for your boots”. Sounding familiar.

The moment when foot in mouth disease kicks and the bull has charged for the red flag. In a fleeting moment, you regain your sanity, you begin to feel shame for having attacked someone you respect you have violated a person’s human dignity. Recognizing the vulnerable feelings that underpin your verbal attack, can be the catalyst to acknowledge your behavior and apologize to rebuild trust.

Shame can be used as an early warning system that you are poised to break trust and violate another’s dignity. Your self-awareness enables you to preserve trust and safeguard your relationships.

Publicly shame people out of their jobs

Think about how it plays out in the workplace. When you embrace full responsibility for your value, your attitude and beliefs then you shape your character, and you choose your behavior. When you lead by example and uplift your colleagues, the environment reflects the values.

For instance, if you saw Zoe in a team meeting speak over another person and exclude them from the conversation your response must be “Zoe, l noticed you excluded Josie from the discussion in the team meeting. I could see her feelings were hurt. I was surprised as you usually are very patient, engaging and encouraging other’s people’s viewpoints. You are an incredible advocate in everyone’s voice being heard”.

In contrast, if you were to shame Zoe the conversation would have a different flavor – “Zoe, you acted like an overbearing mother in today’s meeting. You had no respect for your colleagues. It was all about you. Given l recommended you for the manager’s position l was embarrassed for you in front of the team, and if you continue to play at that level you will shun the team, and no one will have your back”. Imagine the impact of being Zoe and experiencing shame responses time and time again.

Modulate responses

Rather than jumping on the bandwagon when an email or post comes your way, one thing you need to learn is to modulate your responses. Sometimes, it is the 30-second pause from hitting the send, post or tweet button and giving a people a chance to clarify, explain, recant or apologize privately. When you are not involved at all, maybe asking yourself – “Why do l need to jump in and magnify the response? How is that serving you? What are you getting out of it?

What if the shamed become the bullies – are you justified?

Most of the population despises racism and discrimination of all sorts. People who say indefensibly terrible things online or offline, most people want to make them accountable. The trademark of being a bully isn’t just being mean, it involves a power differential. The bully is the one who is punching down. How often you hear stories of adults who have been bullied as children and as an adult are triggered by unresolved childhood issues. Taking past events and justifying the current behavior of shaming, judgment or aggression and wanting to “teach” them a lesson. Even if you believe your bullying is serving a greater good, the fact remains that you are engaging in bullying behavior, one punch at a time.

The antithesis of shame is empathy.

When you judge people in areas that you are vulnerable to shame, you find someone to put down, judge or criticize to get out of calling attention to you. The inner critic will drive your thinking, so if you are doing worse than l am at something, l probably will be able to survive better. When you feel great about you, your weight or how you see yourself as attractive, you won’t need to be jealous of other women, draw comparisons or make snide comments. When you believe and feel you are enough, you don’t need to put others down.

Worldwide, it is time for an intervention within our culture, the digital world and within workplaces, where compassion no longer is deficient, and empathy is the driver.

3 Easy Steps to Getting Our Work Done When Our Kids Are Home for the Summer by @ChristyCareer

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by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

Whether you are starting your business from scratch, working from home as a freelancer, or have a traditional, full-time job outside the home, there is one thing we all have in common – when the kids are home from school for the summer, we suddenly have much more on our plate to manage.

I have a dear friend who is an Executive Director of Meetings and Events for a national organization and she is one of the hardest working people I know. Not one of the hardest working moms – one of the hardest working people. We often comment to each other that we don’t know how the other one does it. And we always say it with love and affection.

Because while I can’t imagine juggling all we have to juggle as working moms from an office every day, she can’t imagine having to shift her focus between work and kids all day, every day, like I do since I work from home. But when it comes to summer, we are both in the same boat. We suddenly have twice as many people and seemingly an exponential number of activities to manage every day — while still getting our jobs done. And we each have our own way of doing it.

I will preface this by saying this much: We are both at the age where our children are old enough to stay home alone and believe me – that makes a world of difference. Gone are the days of finding back-up daycare or a shared nanny for the summer. Our oldest children are teenagers now (thank goodness and Lord help me), so even if our younger kids aren’t quite old enough to stay home for longer stretches of time, we do have coverage with built-in babysitters.

That said, we both commented last night that we should count the ridiculous number of texts that have already happened between all four parents in our families about who is taking which kids where for early morning swim practice, late morning swim practice, baseball, dance, and evening swim practice. It’s mind-boggling, the amount of coordination that has to happen for two neighboring families with a total of four children while there is an overlap in spring activities ending and summer activities beginning. And that doesn’t even include the social activities that happen in between sports.

Now, I’ve seen the cutesy Pinterest lists for parents to use this summer, in hopes that their kids will get things accomplished before complaining that they are bored or begging to be taken somewhere to meet up with friends. And they are, indeed, super cute. But I am no Pinterest mom.

And I think we can make it even easier.

Here are my three easy steps to getting your work done while your kids are home for the summer:

1. Make a list

By list, I mean one for your kids — not for you. And I don’t mean one of those beautiful, Pinterest-worthy ones that include reading an entire summer reading book for school, cleaning the house, and mowing a neighbor’s lawn every day before they get to do anything else. I mean a nice, simple summer To Do List that any parent can stand behind, even though all children in the house will still grumble and moan about it.

Perhaps one day, you include making their bed, reading a chapter of a book, and taking the dog for a walk. But the next day, it’s empty the dishwasher, do 15 minutes on a math app, and take a shower. (My kids are on summer swim team, so showers become less than a daily habit — and I’m okay with that.)

The secret is to keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm them – and don’t overwhelm yourself with all there is to do every day. Just pick a few things. Also, save the really horrible chores – scooping dog poop and cleaning toilets — for when they are acting especially whiny and bored.

2. Declare this their Summer of Self-Sufficiency!

Again, because my children are 10 and 15, this might work better for me than families with younger children, but maybe not! I swear on my life that if my 10-year-old son can watch a YouTube video while playing a video game and talking to his friends who are also playing the same video game, then he can most certainly make his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Even if he “can’t spread the peanut butter as smoothly” as I do. Welcome to the real world, son. Some people are going to spread the peanut butter more smoothly than others. And that’s okay! It’s time to do it yourself. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even come to the realization that crusts don’t taste that bad after all! Or at least not bad enough to have to cut them off every time.

3. If you work from home, get a door with a lock on it.

This was my situation a few summers ago. I had a desk and a workspace that I loved, but it was in an open area of the house. I loved it when everyone else was at school and work all day during the week. But when they all came home – it didn’t work at all.

So I bought an emergency desk. Assembled it myself while they were all gone one evening, and put it in the bay window of my bedroom, overlooking the mountains.

My bedroom with a door.

And a lock.

A lock that works like a charm.

 

Photo credit: energepic.com from Pexels

The Art Of Letting Go by @ANGEKYOUMATTER

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by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

Have you ever been in that moment listening to the grinding replay of what was said or done, looping over and over in your head? Mastering the art of letting go comes from years of practice. One of the greatest tragedies of human behavior is seeing grown men and women who can’t stop playing the mind tape from an event that happened days, weeks, sometimes years ago.

Most of as human beings know what you need to let go of but like a sinking ship, you can’t. More like you won’t. The things that are heavying you are dead weights. As your ship keeps sinking and with all that weight on board, there is no way it’s moving any closer to land.

When you decide to hold on to the past, this prevents you from creating a strong sense of self. Some people struggle to let go of their pain or unpleasant emotions because they think those feelings are part of their identity. When their pain is intertwined with their identity, they may not know who they are without their pain.

People often hold on to pain far beyond its ability to serve them. Mistakes are replayed over and over again, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape actions in the present. You cling to frustration and worry about the future as if the act of fixation somehow ignites a superpower. Stress is stored in your body, your cells, resulting in health issues and an acceptance that this state of tension is part of the norm.

You hold on to things, situations and circumstances as in some weird way it’s fulfilling. There is comfort in familiarity and justification. Holding on to the past holds you back from achieving your true potential. At times you use the past to justify your actions and your current decision making. When you are immersed in justifying everything, that becomes part of your story and holds you back from the very thing you want.

When the facts are terrible or heartbreaking, it is human nature to blame someone else, not ourselves. You blame others for your misfortune however the energy invested in maintaining the fire of blame is on your own back. You keep the blaze going at your own emotional expense. By moving the story, you have constructed, allows you to move toward a path you want.

Let me share with you how every moment is a chance to let go and here are some ways to get started.

Choosing you

When you are indecisive about letting go of something that has been there for a while, it may feel risky and may be even a little selfish. It’s not any of those things. It’s brave. When you hang on to something that doesn’t feel right any more or that’s hurting you, one of the bravest things you can do is to listen to that. Most often the justifications are habits and stories that you tell yourself. Isn’t time to choose you over the habit?

Stay in your own lane

Leaders often engage in discussion as if they have control over other’s action. When you hear people discuss employee engagement, assumptions are made that the responsibility sits with the leader. Engagement is a choice, not something a leader can do for others. Engagement without accountability creates entitlement. Happiness is a choice and last l checked, everyone is responsible for their own happiness. By cultivating personal accountability, you determine how you live your life.

Owning your decision

Letting go can be empowering and free you of challenges where nothing else has worked. The Sedona Method, a simple method for letting go of any uncomfortable or unwanted feeling, thought or belief, by asking four questions. Allow yourself with an open mind and heart to ask yourself these questions to release unwanted thoughts and feelings out of your mind. Try them on: “Could l welcome what l’m feeling? Could l let it go? Would l let it go? When?” These questions guide your awareness into the experience of letting go.

Change your thinking, change your life.

Most of us carry powerful emotional narratives – the stories we tell ourselves about our undigested pain. People are used to living life as a series of reactions to what’s going on around them, living with tension in their body that is wreaking havoc on health and most don’t know how to be kind and compassionate with ourselves. You need to make space to choose a different response.

Quality questions to step closer to freedom

Eckhart Tolle shares in his book, A New Earth a story of two Zen monks:

Tanzan and Ekido…were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep, it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side. The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn’t restrain himself any longer. “Why did you carry that girl across the road?” he asked. “We monks are not supposed to do things like that.” “I put the girl down hours ago,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

Precious time and energy is lost as you become the prisoner from burdens of the past. Holding on to what happened or what you think should have happened. One of the greatest quality questions to ask yourself is “For what purpose?” Exploring what underlines your need to feel right, justified or validated. Oprah Winfrey acknowledges that she needed to do some conscious work to change her need of proving she was right. Change was initiated by a single question that put her on the path to freedom – “Do you want to be right or do you want peace?”

Letting go of rules you create

The most precious resources we have as human beings is time and your attention. When you hold on to resentments, you subscribe to lost time. Time you can never get back or make up. Mel Robbins, TEDx speaker, describes one of her favorite ways to protect her most valuable assets is to protect her first hour of the day at all costs. Letting go of the “rules” to respond to emails, log on to computers or look at her phone, as she diverts her attention to the things that most to her, exercising and her children.

Acceptance is the key

No one should settle. We all have a reality we must accept. No matter as much as we want to hold on to a sunset, we can’t retain everything and still lead meaningful lives. Life is fulfilling when you allow yourself to let go, to be in the moment and feel you in the moment. That is only life’s true reality.

 

Career Coaching Ourselves When It’s Time to Consider Plan B – Or C and D by @ChristyCareer

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Career Coaching Ourselves When It’s Time to Consider Plan B – Or C and D

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

What do you do when Plan A isn’t working out the way you expected it to – or even hoped it would? Go on to Plan B, right? But what if Plan B isn’t working out the way you’d hoped either?

What if all those side hustles you’ve been gathering while you work on the big dream aren’t quite bringing in the income you need to pay the bills? But at this point in your life, you’ve figured out what you love doing – and can’t imagine doing anything else?

A year ago, I accepted my dream job. I left behind a company and people that I loved – and a job I didn’t love – to take the big leap and work as an editor for one of my favorite online publications. And the position itself was, indeed, my dream job – editing articles about mindful, spiritual, environmental, and social justice topics. But for a few different reasons, the position as a whole just wasn’t a good fit.

The biggest reason was my need for flexibility. My kids go to two different schools – neither of which have buses – so I spend an hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon shuttling kids to school. And even more flexibility would be needed in the summers. There was just no way around that simple fact. No matter how much I wanted to make it work, it was clear that it wasn’t a good fit for either of us.

So I moved on after parting ways amicably, and after a few months, landed an editing role at another online publication that I absolutely love. It is everything I could hope for in the work I get to do, the amazing boss I have, and what they’re bringing to the world. But the publication is only a few years old, so it’s a very part-time gig.

And then I found another very part-time editing gig for another publication whose mission makes me so proud.

And then I took on another very part-time editing gig for a book publishing company.

A friend of mine would joke with me, “Another new job?! How many jobs do you have?!” And I would laugh and tell her, “As many as it takes to do what I love and pay the bills.” But unfortunately, all of these very part-time side hustles add up to a lot of work – that isn’t paying the bills.

I am constantly telling myself that all this hard work is going to pay off someday soon, but suffice it to say that Plan B isn’t quite working out the way I had hoped. I love the work I get to do, and if I could get paid a living wage for it, it would be perfect. But it just isn’t possible with these particular side hustles. The companies can’t sustain that yet.

So I put on my career coaching hat and started talking to myself about what it is I need right now, what is really just a want at this point in my career, and what I absolutely don’t want. This is what I came up with:

Needs:

  • Remote, flexible work
  • A living wage
  • Something that doesn’t suck the soul out of me

Wants:

  • Working with words – editing or content management, preferably
  • A company I can feel proud of and that is doing its part to improve the world
  • Something in my wheelhouse of articles and online magazines

Don’t want:

  • Corporate America – no technical document editing or gray cubicles. It’s not me, and honestly, it never was.
  • The hustle – I manifested this one right into my life talking about side hustles, but I’ve decided I don’t have the heart for the hustle. I love connecting with new writers and learning if we can benefit from each other. Would publishing on our sites help them grow their following? Would the readers of the sites I edit for want to read their articles? I love sharing their mindful messages with the world. But I don’t like the hustle of trying to find something to publish just to fill a time slot that day. It would be nice simplify and just do work I love.
  • Working for (almost) free – I’ve already got enough of that with all those side hustles.

Perhaps I should have expected this last one in the writing and editing world. Like most other arts, it’s just not valued as much as other professions might be. And I get it. The work we do is not always directly tied to revenue, like a sales position. And I absolutely knew what I signed up for when I went to work for these amazing publications.

But things have changed in my world, and I need to start bringing in a regular, steady income that I can count on every month.

As a career coach, I would recommend that someone in my position who needs to bring in a real salary look for something that is at least somewhat related to my love of words – maybe working in a library or bookstore. Or maybe I could put my marketing, HR, or career coaching experience to use at a local college…a work setting I’ve always thought might suit me. It’s time to broaden my search and start to consider more options than I might have before.

But I will continue to search for that unicorn of a role that allows me to get paid to do the work I love to do – with all the flexibility I need to make it work with my family life.

And whether I find that unicorn role or end up shelving books in a library, I plan on maintaining my writing and editing gigs on the side. Because those who do it, do it for the love of the craft. For the love of words. And connecting with others through those words.

And you know what? That’s exactly why I do it, too.

What about you? Have you found balance in doing the work that you love to do with bringing in a salary that will put food on your table and a roof over your head? What kinds of compromises have you had to make in order to be happy at work and still make money? Share with me in your comments below!

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