Featured Contributor | She Owns It

SJ Barakony

SJ Barakony is a serial entrepreneur, futurist, & connector.

He lives in Ohio & is the Founder of Service Before Self Leadership: An Educational Solutions Provider.

He offers four highly customizable solutions to encourage families, individuals, faith institutions, & business owners to create & cultivate lifelong learning cultures in our homes & workplaces.

He’s been a guest on an educational podcast; been interviewed for an online small business community; is a guest blogger for Innovate NA; and has been an invited speaker five separate times for HECOA.

He believes strongly in youth & social entrepreneurship: He continues to serve two chapters of the YEA program (student mentor, mock judge, ad hoc consultant ) & has co-facilitated a session of the SeaChange Accelerator program.

He serves as the TDD for Cleveland & Columbus (Ohio) for the H7 Network.

He also recently became an educational advisor for Tessr.io, a startup in the exciting world of blockchain/cryptocurrencies that will be establishing a cutting edge educational foundation.

Let She Owns It Promote YOU! Bloggers Wanted. Open Call For Featured Contributors.

December 27, 2018 by Melissa Stewart Leave a Comment

by Melissa Stewart

We are looking for a few amazing women (and men) to share their inspiration and expertise with the She Owns It community. Featured contributors will be selected based on their level of expertise in their particular fields. Featured contributors must be able to commit to partnering with She Owns It from January through June 2018 and writing a minimum of 6 posts.

-> APPLY HERE! <-

Here are some subjects we are interested in:

Entrepreneurship
Small Business
Marketing & Advertising
Public Relations
Social Media
Product Development
Success
Inspiration
Graphic Design
Branding
Online Strategies – Website and Email
Legal
Accounting
Human Resources
Operations and Business Strategy
Customer Service Programs
Startups
Entrepreneur Success Stories & Inspiration
Creative Entrepreneurs
Better Blogging
Recipes & Tips for Healthy Living
Crowdfunding
Venture Capital
Web Design
Dressing for Success
Podcasting

…or tell us your expertise & we can create a category just for you!

Here’s how it works:

Featured Contributors will commit to six months with She Owns It. Each Featured Contributor will provide six unique posts during their six month commitment. They can be written articles or video posts.

Our Featured Contributors will receive:

Listing under Featured Contributors on the She Owns It site
Bios and pictures on every post submitted.
Exposure through our social media networks on Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

A woman entrepreneur that has seen success in business.
A woman who is an expert in her industry or field.
A woman who has excelled in a specific area of business.
A woman who is committed to helping other women.
OPEN to men with the same qualifications!

If this sounds like you, we encourage you to apply.

Have questions? Reach out to Melissa Stewart, at melissa (at) sheownsit (dot) com

-> APPLY HERE! <-

Application DEADLINE is December 31st.

Melissa Stewart

Melissa Stewart is the founder of SheOwnsIt.com. She is a Purveyor of Possibility, Entrepreneur Advocate and Coffee Addict. She believes that behind every successful woman is her story. What’s your story?

https://sheownsit.com/

The Faces Of Shame @AngeKYoumatter

September 19, 2018 by Angela Kambouris Leave a Comment

by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

The digital world has given a voice to the people on a scale never seen before. At its worst, it is a weapon of mass destruction. The digital world has amplified slander, intensified bullying and masticated reputations like a lion chewing a piece of meat. Shaming has become a digital centerpiece that can destroy lives and livelihoods.

No one is immune to shaming. Whether it be the stay at home mum, a woman period-shamed at work or the 70-year-old female body shamed at the gym . One tweet, one article or a post captures the fat shaming, slut shaming or career shaming that runs rapidly across the globe.

Public shaming has been synonymous with the justice system dating back centuries where petty criminals were sentenced to public floggings, drawing in large crowds and binding communities to ensure justice was served. Today, public shaming continues as a form of punishment. Whether it requires shoplifters to carry signs stating they stole, or a Californian state website that contains the names of people who don’t pay their taxes or gossip in a workplace, shaming has such a scale and speed that the results can be soul destroying.

In a TED Talk “When Online Shaming Goes Too Far” Jon Ronson shares the story of Justine Sacco who sent an ill-considered tweet in 2013 that blew up her life between her flight from London to South Africa. A 64-character tweet and with only 170 twitter followers, ignited an international feeding frenzy of online mob mentality expressing collective rage, her name synonymous with racism, her hashtag #HasJustineLandedYet waiting for her public hanging. As a former senior director of corporate communications, she was to find her fate via a twitter post advising of her termination. Justine was publicly sentenced and hung out to dry for a holiday tweet that had no intent behind it.

Women’s behavior is still subject to much scrutiny, and if the narrative is not adhered to, then shaming is activated. Despite the feminist movement, slut-shaming continues in great force around the globe. In August 2018, Rachel Hundley, a council member in Sonoma, California received a threatening email accusing her of immoral and unethical behavior and demanding she drop out of the city council race or a website with photos of her from Burning Man would be released. Serena Williams shamed on social media for her supposedly “large” and “masculine” appearance. Amy Cuddy gets your “power pose” on her Ted Talk which originated from noticing a gender grade gap among her students at Harvard Business School. Despite her critics and shameful attacks on her and her research publicly, she intended to help empower women in the workplace, even little girls.

Let’s delve into the good, the bad and the uglies of shame.

Self-shamer

Shame is that deep, painful feeling attached to how you negatively see yourself. You identify yourself as bad, mad, flawed or less than what you ought to be. The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. Here is your opportunity – embrace that you are human and experience shame or embrace the first step of the 12-step recovery program, “l am a sociopath.”

In the book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown describes shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” When you delve in deeper, Brown differentiates between guilt and shame. Guilt being “l did something bad”, shame equating to “I am bad.” Shame embodies blame, and when you step into that moment, you deflect all responsibility.

Shame can be an early warning system

Shame tells you when you have hurt someone. When you have crossed a boundary that violates a person’s dignity. It grabs your attention, and if you pause long enough, you have an opportunity to correct your behavior. I’m sure you have heard yourself in the workplace in that fleeting moment– “You are so self-centered”, “You only care about yourself and not the team”, “You took our idea and made it be your own”, or “Sweetheart you are too big for your boots”. Sounding familiar.

The moment when foot in mouth disease kicks and the bull has charged for the red flag. In a fleeting moment, you regain your sanity, you begin to feel shame for having attacked someone you respect you have violated a person’s human dignity. Recognizing the vulnerable feelings that underpin your verbal attack, can be the catalyst to acknowledge your behavior and apologize to rebuild trust.

Shame can be used as an early warning system that you are poised to break trust and violate another’s dignity. Your self-awareness enables you to preserve trust and safeguard your relationships.

Publicly shame people out of their jobs

Think about how it plays out in the workplace. When you embrace full responsibility for your value, your attitude and beliefs then you shape your character, and you choose your behavior. When you lead by example and uplift your colleagues, the environment reflects the values.

For instance, if you saw Zoe in a team meeting speak over another person and exclude them from the conversation your response must be “Zoe, l noticed you excluded Josie from the discussion in the team meeting. I could see her feelings were hurt. I was surprised as you usually are very patient, engaging and encouraging other’s people’s viewpoints. You are an incredible advocate in everyone’s voice being heard”.

In contrast, if you were to shame Zoe the conversation would have a different flavor – “Zoe, you acted like an overbearing mother in today’s meeting. You had no respect for your colleagues. It was all about you. Given l recommended you for the manager’s position l was embarrassed for you in front of the team, and if you continue to play at that level you will shun the team, and no one will have your back”. Imagine the impact of being Zoe and experiencing shame responses time and time again.

Modulate responses

Rather than jumping on the bandwagon when an email or post comes your way, one thing you need to learn is to modulate your responses. Sometimes, it is the 30-second pause from hitting the send, post or tweet button and giving a people a chance to clarify, explain, recant or apologize privately. When you are not involved at all, maybe asking yourself – “Why do l need to jump in and magnify the response? How is that serving you? What are you getting out of it?

What if the shamed become the bullies – are you justified?

Most of the population despises racism and discrimination of all sorts. People who say indefensibly terrible things online or offline, most people want to make them accountable. The trademark of being a bully isn’t just being mean, it involves a power differential. The bully is the one who is punching down. How often you hear stories of adults who have been bullied as children and as an adult are triggered by unresolved childhood issues. Taking past events and justifying the current behavior of shaming, judgment or aggression and wanting to “teach” them a lesson. Even if you believe your bullying is serving a greater good, the fact remains that you are engaging in bullying behavior, one punch at a time.

The antithesis of shame is empathy.

When you judge people in areas that you are vulnerable to shame, you find someone to put down, judge or criticize to get out of calling attention to you. The inner critic will drive your thinking, so if you are doing worse than l am at something, l probably will be able to survive better. When you feel great about you, your weight or how you see yourself as attractive, you won’t need to be jealous of other women, draw comparisons or make snide comments. When you believe and feel you are enough, you don’t need to put others down.

Worldwide, it is time for an intervention within our culture, the digital world and within workplaces, where compassion no longer is deficient, and empathy is the driver.

http://angelakambouris.com/

Angela Kambouris

About Angela: I used to work with high risk kids in the streets of Melbourne, now l have my own consultancy business and write for large publications. As a leadership coach and business leader having spent over 20 years in the field of vulnerability and trauma, l built a high-level career as an executive and transitioned into a business owner. I’m super passionate about unlocking human potential to deliver extraordinary results and help people step into their leadership mastery. I have spoken on stages and worked with thousands of people in self-development, leadership, mindset, human behavior and business. Love to travel, experience difference cultures and mastermind with leaders and expert authorities in personal development and business all over the world. Let’s connect through my website http://angelakambouris.com/, through my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

3 Easy Steps to Getting Our Work Done When Our Kids Are Home for the Summer by @ChristyCareer

June 29, 2018 by Christy Williams Leave a Comment

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

Whether you are starting your business from scratch, working from home as a freelancer, or have a traditional, full-time job outside the home, there is one thing we all have in common – when the kids are home from school for the summer, we suddenly have much more on our plate to manage.

I have a dear friend who is an Executive Director of Meetings and Events for a national organization and she is one of the hardest working people I know. Not one of the hardest working moms – one of the hardest working people. We often comment to each other that we don’t know how the other one does it. And we always say it with love and affection.

Because while I can’t imagine juggling all we have to juggle as working moms from an office every day, she can’t imagine having to shift her focus between work and kids all day, every day, like I do since I work from home. But when it comes to summer, we are both in the same boat. We suddenly have twice as many people and seemingly an exponential number of activities to manage every day — while still getting our jobs done. And we each have our own way of doing it.

I will preface this by saying this much: We are both at the age where our children are old enough to stay home alone and believe me – that makes a world of difference. Gone are the days of finding back-up daycare or a shared nanny for the summer. Our oldest children are teenagers now (thank goodness and Lord help me), so even if our younger kids aren’t quite old enough to stay home for longer stretches of time, we do have coverage with built-in babysitters.

That said, we both commented last night that we should count the ridiculous number of texts that have already happened between all four parents in our families about who is taking which kids where for early morning swim practice, late morning swim practice, baseball, dance, and evening swim practice. It’s mind-boggling, the amount of coordination that has to happen for two neighboring families with a total of four children while there is an overlap in spring activities ending and summer activities beginning. And that doesn’t even include the social activities that happen in between sports.

Now, I’ve seen the cutesy Pinterest lists for parents to use this summer, in hopes that their kids will get things accomplished before complaining that they are bored or begging to be taken somewhere to meet up with friends. And they are, indeed, super cute. But I am no Pinterest mom.

And I think we can make it even easier.

Here are my three easy steps to getting your work done while your kids are home for the summer:

1. Make a list

By list, I mean one for your kids — not for you. And I don’t mean one of those beautiful, Pinterest-worthy ones that include reading an entire summer reading book for school, cleaning the house, and mowing a neighbor’s lawn every day before they get to do anything else. I mean a nice, simple summer To Do List that any parent can stand behind, even though all children in the house will still grumble and moan about it.

Perhaps one day, you include making their bed, reading a chapter of a book, and taking the dog for a walk. But the next day, it’s empty the dishwasher, do 15 minutes on a math app, and take a shower. (My kids are on summer swim team, so showers become less than a daily habit — and I’m okay with that.)

The secret is to keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm them – and don’t overwhelm yourself with all there is to do every day. Just pick a few things. Also, save the really horrible chores – scooping dog poop and cleaning toilets — for when they are acting especially whiny and bored.

2. Declare this their Summer of Self-Sufficiency!

Again, because my children are 10 and 15, this might work better for me than families with younger children, but maybe not! I swear on my life that if my 10-year-old son can watch a YouTube video while playing a video game and talking to his friends who are also playing the same video game, then he can most certainly make his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Even if he “can’t spread the peanut butter as smoothly” as I do. Welcome to the real world, son. Some people are going to spread the peanut butter more smoothly than others. And that’s okay! It’s time to do it yourself. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even come to the realization that crusts don’t taste that bad after all! Or at least not bad enough to have to cut them off every time.

3. If you work from home, get a door with a lock on it.

This was my situation a few summers ago. I had a desk and a workspace that I loved, but it was in an open area of the house. I loved it when everyone else was at school and work all day during the week. But when they all came home – it didn’t work at all.

So I bought an emergency desk. Assembled it myself while they were all gone one evening, and put it in the bay window of my bedroom, overlooking the mountains.

My bedroom with a door.

And a lock.

A lock that works like a charm.

Photo credit: energepic.com from Pexels

Christy Williams is an expert in her own midlife crisis, and not-at-all an expert in spiritual awakenings, both of which are currently ongoing for her. She is proud to call herself: Sassy Writer/Editor. Career and Life Coach. Flexible Work Evangelist. Spiritual Seeker. Highly-Sensitive Soul. Empathic Intuitive. Aspiring Herbivore. Fierce Mom. Slacker Wife. Hot Mess. And she also wants you to know that you are not the boss of her. She would love to connect with you on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and her website.

The Art Of Letting Go by @ANGEKYOUMATTER

May 21, 2018 by Angela Kambouris Leave a Comment

by Angela Kambouris | Featured Contributor

Have you ever been in that moment listening to the grinding replay of what was said or done, looping over and over in your head? Mastering the art of letting go comes from years of practice. One of the greatest tragedies of human behavior is seeing grown men and women who can’t stop playing the mind tape from an event that happened days, weeks, sometimes years ago.

Most of as human beings know what you need to let go of but like a sinking ship, you can’t. More like you won’t. The things that are heavying you are dead weights. As your ship keeps sinking and with all that weight on board, there is no way it’s moving any closer to land.

When you decide to hold on to the past, this prevents you from creating a strong sense of self. Some people struggle to let go of their pain or unpleasant emotions because they think those feelings are part of their identity. When their pain is intertwined with their identity, they may not know who they are without their pain.

People often hold on to pain far beyond its ability to serve them. Mistakes are replayed over and over again, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape actions in the present. You cling to frustration and worry about the future as if the act of fixation somehow ignites a superpower. Stress is stored in your body, your cells, resulting in health issues and an acceptance that this state of tension is part of the norm.

You hold on to things, situations and circumstances as in some weird way it’s fulfilling. There is comfort in familiarity and justification. Holding on to the past holds you back from achieving your true potential. At times you use the past to justify your actions and your current decision making. When you are immersed in justifying everything, that becomes part of your story and holds you back from the very thing you want.

When the facts are terrible or heartbreaking, it is human nature to blame someone else, not ourselves. You blame others for your misfortune however the energy invested in maintaining the fire of blame is on your own back. You keep the blaze going at your own emotional expense. By moving the story, you have constructed, allows you to move toward a path you want.

Let me share with you how every moment is a chance to let go and here are some ways to get started.

Choosing you

When you are indecisive about letting go of something that has been there for a while, it may feel risky and may be even a little selfish. It’s not any of those things. It’s brave. When you hang on to something that doesn’t feel right any more or that’s hurting you, one of the bravest things you can do is to listen to that. Most often the justifications are habits and stories that you tell yourself. Isn’t time to choose you over the habit?

Stay in your own lane

Leaders often engage in discussion as if they have control over other’s action. When you hear people discuss employee engagement, assumptions are made that the responsibility sits with the leader. Engagement is a choice, not something a leader can do for others. Engagement without accountability creates entitlement. Happiness is a choice and last l checked, everyone is responsible for their own happiness. By cultivating personal accountability, you determine how you live your life.

Owning your decision

Letting go can be empowering and free you of challenges where nothing else has worked. The Sedona Method, a simple method for letting go of any uncomfortable or unwanted feeling, thought or belief, by asking four questions. Allow yourself with an open mind and heart to ask yourself these questions to release unwanted thoughts and feelings out of your mind. Try them on: “Could l welcome what l’m feeling? Could l let it go? Would l let it go? When?” These questions guide your awareness into the experience of letting go.

Change your thinking, change your life.

Most of us carry powerful emotional narratives – the stories we tell ourselves about our undigested pain. People are used to living life as a series of reactions to what’s going on around them, living with tension in their body that is wreaking havoc on health and most don’t know how to be kind and compassionate with ourselves. You need to make space to choose a different response.

Quality questions to step closer to freedom

Eckhart Tolle shares in his book, A New Earth a story of two Zen monks:

Tanzan and Ekido…were walking along a country road that had become extremely muddy after heavy rains. Near a village, they came upon a young woman who was trying to cross the road, but the mud was so deep, it would have ruined the silk kimono she was wearing. Tanzan at once picked her up and carried her to the other side. The monks walked on in silence. Five hours later, as they were approaching the lodging temple, Ekido couldn’t restrain himself any longer. “Why did you carry that girl across the road?” he asked. “We monks are not supposed to do things like that.” “I put the girl down hours ago,” said Tanzan. “Are you still carrying her?”

Precious time and energy is lost as you become the prisoner from burdens of the past. Holding on to what happened or what you think should have happened. One of the greatest quality questions to ask yourself is “For what purpose?” Exploring what underlines your need to feel right, justified or validated. Oprah Winfrey acknowledges that she needed to do some conscious work to change her need of proving she was right. Change was initiated by a single question that put her on the path to freedom – “Do you want to be right or do you want peace?”

Letting go of rules you create

The most precious resources we have as human beings is time and your attention. When you hold on to resentments, you subscribe to lost time. Time you can never get back or make up. Mel Robbins, TEDx speaker, describes one of her favorite ways to protect her most valuable assets is to protect her first hour of the day at all costs. Letting go of the “rules” to respond to emails, log on to computers or look at her phone, as she diverts her attention to the things that most to her, exercising and her children.

Acceptance is the key

No one should settle. We all have a reality we must accept. No matter as much as we want to hold on to a sunset, we can’t retain everything and still lead meaningful lives. Life is fulfilling when you allow yourself to let go, to be in the moment and feel you in the moment. That is only life’s true reality.

http://angelakambouris.com/

Angela Kambouris

Career Coaching Ourselves When It’s Time to Consider Plan B – Or C and D by @ChristyCareer

May 14, 2018 by Christy Williams 2 Comments

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

What do you do when Plan A isn’t working out the way you expected it to – or even hoped it would? Go on to Plan B, right? But what if Plan B isn’t working out the way you’d hoped either?

What if all those side hustles you’ve been gathering while you work on the big dream aren’t quite bringing in the income you need to pay the bills? But at this point in your life, you’ve figured out what you love doing – and can’t imagine doing anything else?

A year ago, I accepted my dream job. I left behind a company and people that I loved – and a job I didn’t love – to take the big leap and work as an editor for one of my favorite online publications. And the position itself was, indeed, my dream job – editing articles about mindful, spiritual, environmental, and social justice topics. But for a few different reasons, the position as a whole just wasn’t a good fit.

The biggest reason was my need for flexibility. My kids go to two different schools – neither of which have buses – so I spend an hour in the morning and two hours in the afternoon shuttling kids to school. And even more flexibility would be needed in the summers. There was just no way around that simple fact. No matter how much I wanted to make it work, it was clear that it wasn’t a good fit for either of us.

So I moved on after parting ways amicably, and after a few months, landed an editing role at another online publication that I absolutely love. It is everything I could hope for in the work I get to do, the amazing boss I have, and what they’re bringing to the world. But the publication is only a few years old, so it’s a very part-time gig.

And then I found another very part-time editing gig for another publication whose mission makes me so proud.

And then I took on another very part-time editing gig for a book publishing company.

A friend of mine would joke with me, “Another new job?! How many jobs do you have?!” And I would laugh and tell her, “As many as it takes to do what I love and pay the bills.” But unfortunately, all of these very part-time side hustles add up to a lot of work – that isn’t paying the bills.

I am constantly telling myself that all this hard work is going to pay off someday soon, but suffice it to say that Plan B isn’t quite working out the way I had hoped. I love the work I get to do, and if I could get paid a living wage for it, it would be perfect. But it just isn’t possible with these particular side hustles. The companies can’t sustain that yet.

So I put on my career coaching hat and started talking to myself about what it is I need right now, what is really just a want at this point in my career, and what I absolutely don’t want. This is what I came up with:

Needs:

Remote, flexible work
A living wage
Something that doesn’t suck the soul out of me

Wants:

Working with words – editing or content management, preferably
A company I can feel proud of and that is doing its part to improve the world
Something in my wheelhouse of articles and online magazines

Don’t want:

Corporate America – no technical document editing or gray cubicles. It’s not me, and honestly, it never was.
The hustle – I manifested this one right into my life talking about side hustles, but I’ve decided I don’t have the heart for the hustle. I love connecting with new writers and learning if we can benefit from each other. Would publishing on our sites help them grow their following? Would the readers of the sites I edit for want to read their articles? I love sharing their mindful messages with the world. But I don’t like the hustle of trying to find something to publish just to fill a time slot that day. It would be nice simplify and just do work I love.
Working for (almost) free – I’ve already got enough of that with all those side hustles.

Perhaps I should have expected this last one in the writing and editing world. Like most other arts, it’s just not valued as much as other professions might be. And I get it. The work we do is not always directly tied to revenue, like a sales position. And I absolutely knew what I signed up for when I went to work for these amazing publications.

But things have changed in my world, and I need to start bringing in a regular, steady income that I can count on every month.

As a career coach, I would recommend that someone in my position who needs to bring in a real salary look for something that is at least somewhat related to my love of words – maybe working in a library or bookstore. Or maybe I could put my marketing, HR, or career coaching experience to use at a local college…a work setting I’ve always thought might suit me. It’s time to broaden my search and start to consider more options than I might have before.

But I will continue to search for that unicorn of a role that allows me to get paid to do the work I love to do – with all the flexibility I need to make it work with my family life.

And whether I find that unicorn role or end up shelving books in a library, I plan on maintaining my writing and editing gigs on the side. Because those who do it, do it for the love of the craft. For the love of words. And connecting with others through those words.

And you know what? That’s exactly why I do it, too.

What about you? Have you found balance in doing the work that you love to do with bringing in a salary that will put food on your table and a roof over your head? What kinds of compromises have you had to make in order to be happy at work and still make money? Share with me in your comments below!

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

The Downside of Figuring out What You Love to Do for Work by @ChristyCareer

April 12, 2018 by Christy Williams Leave a Comment

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

A young friend of mine just contacted me to let me know that he received two jobs offers before he has even graduated from college — and he picked the one that is what he really wants to do for work instead of the one that everyone thinks he’d be great at.

I am so, so happy for him for working as hard as he has to get to this point – and for going with his heart in making the decision. And I also want to warn him – there is a downside to doing what you love for work.

I have always been that person who wondered why anyone would ever do anything that they didn’t love to do. I figured out as the editor-in-chief of my high school yearbook that I loved putting words and pictures together on a page, so I was one of the lucky ones who knew what they wanted to major in (advertising and communications) before they even got to college.

The hardest decision was whether to focus more on the writing side of things or graphic design. But that was only because of the pressure I got from my graphic design professors. Words have always been my first love, so it was a decision that was already made in my heart.

After a year in an advertising agency in Boston, I realized that it wasn’t at all the glamorous profession it seemed to be – and I didn’t love writing copy for financial institutions. BOR-ING. So I bought a one-way ticket to Colorado and decided to write the Great American Novel. Halfway through writing the book, I met a boy and got a job at a dude ranch. So long, Great American Novel.

I fell back into marketing when I left the dude ranch, and spent many years writing and managing in-house campaigns for international standards, dental products, and health information software before I realized that I was right back where I started. Bored.

A successful career transition into human resources kept me happy for a few years, as I helped employees manage work-life balance, find flexible jobs — and I became a career coach on the side. I had seen so many employees waiting for HR to create their career path for them, when they weren’t even happy doing what they were doing, and it drove me crazy, trying to understand it. But seeing the underbelly of corporate America – as you unfortunately get to see in HR — did nothing to help me feel like I fit in the corporate world.

So again, I came back to my first love of words.

But here’s the thing. The downside of having spent the past few years getting to write and edit articles for a living is that I can no longer pretend anything else will do.

I can no longer settle for anything less.

I absolutely love having the privilege of editing other people’s precious words. Every day, when I open the articles, it’s like Christmas. I get so excited about what’s going to be inside the little presents I receive as submissions.

It’s not perfect. Some days, it’s like unwrapping a present and finding socks. I recently had a day when I had a few submissions that were from writers whose first language is something other than English, and I spent a lot more time editing than I normally do. Sometimes, I feel victorious at the end, like I’ve helped massage the words just enough to let their message shine through without losing their voice.

Other times, one whole paragraph makes perfect sense, but the next one is like reading Shel Silverstein’s book, “Jabberwocky”. A struggle from beginning to end, with a whole lot of nothing making sense in the middle.

But most times, it truly is a gift. I will open up a mindful article full of beautiful language and heartfelt thoughts – and it seems like the exact message that I personally needed to hear that day. And I am filled with gratitude to get to love on these words and change them only when I have to in order to make the message as clear as possible for the reader.

There is so much variety in the articles I get to write and edit every day, and I’ve learned that variety is very important for me to have on a daily basis. But then there is a certain amount of routine, detail-oriented formatting that goes along with editing. Making sure I craft just the right title, pick the appropriate tags for the post, and then choose a photo to go with the article that will make people want to click on it even more. It’s a great balance of creativity and routine and I couldn’t ask for anything more.

The downside of knowing all this about myself is that now I know better.

I know what it’s like to do a job I love – and now I refuse to settle for anything less.

When I am looking for more gigs, and a dear friend suggests going back to work in corporate America, I can feel my skin crawl. Or someone else suggests editing technical documents and I can’t help but make a face. And I know they’re only trying to be helpful.

But now I know better.

I know what my soul wants to do for work. What it’s wanted to do all along. And now there’s no going back.

No matter how frustrated I am that I have yet to find that one more gig that will help me pay the bills. Because now it’s all about words, and until I can find that opportunity, I might entertain some other side hustle that has to do with words. A bookstore maybe…or the library. Two of my happy places.

Meanwhile, I will keep my young friend, Jackson, in mind — and the amazing example that he is setting for all of us in doing what he loves.

Photo by Anete Lūsiņa on Unsplash

5 Co-Working Spaces for Women That I Wish Were in My Town by @ChristyCareer

March 6, 2018 by Christy Williams Leave a Comment

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

Working for myself has afforded me a lot of freedom. Thank goodness, because if I were to have a personal tagline, it would probably be, “You’re not the boss of me.”

I love the freedom I have to work from anywhere, and control my own schedule – you know, for taking your freshman to physical therapy once a week for her dance injury. Or when the school calls saying they’ve called 911 for your fourth grader. (Crisis averted…he was simply dehydrated. Although mommy’s heart might be in jeopardy now.)

I absolutely adore working from home. It is such a lower-stress way of life for me. It’s hard enough to leave the house with both kids at 6:40 in the morning, let alone having to worry about getting myself showered and dressed and to an office by 8:00. I honestly can’t even imagine doing that, considering how tired I already am on a daily basis. (Let alone even think about going back to a cubicle situation.)

But if there’s one downside of working for myself, I would say it’s the isolation. There are days when I don’t see or talk to anyone else besides my children and the dog, and even though I need way more alone time than the average person, sometimes, you just want to be around other humans.

In a town like mine, though, that limits me to a couple of coffee shops that are always packed – and cold. There actually is one co-working space in our small town, but unfortunately for me, it’s in the basement of a building, with little to no natural light that I can see. And I need natural light. That kind of environment might help some people focus, but not being able to see outside makes me twitchy. I don’t even like to close the blinds in my house until I absolutely have to, once it’s so dark outside that it feels like living in a fishbowl.

When I started researching co-working spaces, I wasn’t too surprised that there aren’t many close to where I live. There are plenty closer to the city of Denver, but none within a quick commute of my town that would make the drive worth it.

But what I did stumble across in my research made me wish I lived closer to an urban area: coworking spaces created just for women! Apparently, these have been a thing for a while, but like I said, I don’t get out much.

As I browsed through photo after gorgeous photo of the spaces that entrepreneurial women have created for other women, I got jealous. (Well, first I wiped the drool from the corners of my mouth, but then I got jealous.)

Here are the five co-working spaces for women that I wish were in my town:

1. The Hivery

“The Hivery is a collaborative and creative coworking space where you can pursue your work, passions, ideas and what’s next.”

If aesthetics are as important to you as they are to me, then you will love The Hivery, located in Mill Valley, California. In fact, a line from their website even says, “Inspiration comes from the space you inhabit.”

In addition to their regular memberships, they also offer events like new member coffee talks, workshops for topics like the Enneagram, and brown bag luncheons. Be right back…I’m moving to Mill Valley. #womendoingcoolstuff

2. ModernWell

“A women-centered collaborative space that balances independent spirit with holistic well-being, championing a one-of-a-kind, work-life community.”

A writer friend of mine shamelessly flaunted this brand new space in Minneapolis, when she was there during their opening week. And I have been coveting this space ever since.

In addition to their memberships, they offer books clubs, Happiness Hours, a private wellness room for quiet relaxation and pumping for new mothers, and regularly scheduled teen girl empowerment and mother/daughter wellness workshops and events. Sign. Me. Up.

3. The Wing

“A home base for women on their way. The Wing was born out of the belief that women need and deserve a multi-purpose space designed to make their lives easier, and that magic is created when women gather together.”

Of course, co-working spaces for women would be in urban areas like New York City and this one is setting the bar high. With two locations currently and another two opening any moment now, they are one of the originals. (P.S. I love that they call their locations “Covens”…)

Their membership perks include discussions on what it means to be Latina today, their own version of Bingo called Wingo, and a recently held conversation with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand.

4. RADIANT

“RADIANT is a place to work but at its core, it is a community. We support female entrepreneurs as much as we can to empower our diverse community, and to change our little patch of the world, one empowered woman at a time.”

San Francisco-based RADIANT offers an impressive variety of membership bonuses, including classes about Fashion Writing, Make-Your-Own Bath & Body products, wardrobe styling, and learning to code!

5. Circle + Moon

“We dreamed of a place where girlcode is honest, real, true and legit. Where women really do support one another and celebrate each others’ successes and joys. We believe this is not only possible, but vital for our future. This is why Circle+Moon was created. To provide a safe place for women to find their voice and shine their light. We envision a community of girlbosses and change makers working along-side each other for a more beautiful future.”

Based in Roswell, Georgia, this quaint, historic space offers events like Pop-Up Success Café, Female Rebels, and Nurture your Essence.

Are you drooling now, too? Well, while I start dreaming of creating one of these amazing spaces for my own area, here’s a great resource to help you find a coworking space of your own!

Photo credit: The Hivery/Pinterest

Meaningful Work We Can Do From Home? This Entrepreneur Is Making It Happen—And Saving the Environment at the Same Time by @ChristyCareer

February 7, 2018 by Christy Williams 3 Comments

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

She’s been called the queen of remote work.

And she knows that finding meaningful work that actually fits in with our lives and allows us the flexibility we need on a daily basis can feel almost impossible.

She would also be the first person to tell you that it’s not.

Sara Sutton Fell is the founder and CEO of FlexJobs. And this woman is fierce.

She has founded not one, but four companies—one of them when she was eight-months pregnant with her first baby. And she does it all with a constant focus on the “why” behind what she’s doing.

If there is an entrepreneur who inspires me to focus on my “why” and do what I can for others, this woman is it.

For those who may not have heard of the website, what is FlexJobs?

FlexJobs is the leading online service for professionals seeking telecommuting, flexible schedule, part-time, and freelance jobs. With flexible job listings in over 50 career categories, and opportunities ranging from entry-level to executive, freelance to full-time, FlexJobs offers job-seekers a safe, easy, and efficient way to find professional and legitimate flexible job listings.

What makes FlexJobs different than other job search websites?

First, FlexJobs’ mission is to help people find jobs that make their lives better, jobs that specifically offer flexible work options. And we are committed to doing this with integrity, intelligence, balance, communication, and care.

Secondly, we pre-screen every job and company before posting them to our site. This allows us to weed out the scams, shady business opportunities, and other less-than-ideal jobs that are so pervasive on other job boards.

Also, our primary clients are job seekers—not advertisers or employers—and so our goal is really to create a better job search experience for them. In order to do that, we are a membership site, so job seekers pay a small subscription fee to access our database of clean, flexible jobs. In return, we offer a top quality, clean, friendly site with great flexible jobs, excellent customer support, and a satisfaction guarantee.

What, in your own life, led you to come up with the idea for starting FlexJobs?

I founded FlexJobs in 2007 while I was pregnant with my first son, after I experienced first-hand the frustrating search for professional jobs that also offered flexible work options. I knew that I wanted to continue on my career path, but it was important to me to have more flexibility than a traditional full-time, on-site job would typically allow, so that I could better juggle the responsibilities of work and a family.

I wished that a trustworthy site existed that would have done the legwork of screening these jobs! But in looking thoroughly through the competitive landscape, I realized it didn’t, and so my wheels started turning.

But starting a company with a newborn wasn’t to be taken lightly, and in my own soul-searching, I just realized that I so deeply believed in the importance of flexible work—and having a baby simply reinforced that in a powerful way. Overall, I believe that a modern workplace should address the needs of today’s workforce, and that utilizing workplace technology to support telecommuting and flexible work will achieve societal, environmental, and economic benefits for both employees and employers.

How do you think flexible work can help people to create meaningful work in their own lives?

Flexible work can allow people to live lives where their responsibilities aren’t constantly in direct competition, and it enables people to have more control over how best to accomplish their goals. For example, for me, working from home and having a flexible schedule has allowed me to be more fully present with what I am doing at the moment—whether it’s at work or at home—because I don’t feel as anxious, stressed, or even angry I’m missing out on the other.

I believe flexible work options can help empower people to be more honest with their priorities, and that honesty, in turn, supports being mindful of what makes us happy, fulfilled, and proud of our decisions.

What does meaningful work look like in your own life?

I believe that no matter what job I have, or anyone has, that you can have meaningful work, at least in elements. I’m lucky in that I believe in the mission of my job, and I love what I do. But I also try my best to make my colleagues and our customers happy—as well as try to improve my abilities and skills to continue to do both better. So having meaningful work means choosing to put good into the world in whatever ways you can even if it’s not obvious.

As a side note, these videos highlight that what I’m talking about can be done in all kinds of ways!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLIdz_Zl1zQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr4vO2ri1yw

When you were formulating the idea of FlexJobs in the beginning, did it occur to you that helping people find flexible work could also have a positive impact on our environment, or was that just a welcome side effect?

That was definitely part of my thinking when I founded FlexJobs. I hold a BA degree with the focus of Society, Technology, and the Environment from the University of California at Berkeley, so I’ve long thought about ways to have a positive environmental impact through my work, and I knew the environmental benefits of flexible work, as well as the many societal and personal benefits.

Flexible work can be inherently environmentally-friendly. Telecommuting helps people consume less gas or oil, put less carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, and better control their own home’s environmental impact because they aren’t commuting to an office every day.

Flexible schedules also reduce commuting times, helping people avoid peak rush-hour traffic jams. And flexible work helps companies reduce their environmental impact by reshaping the way business is done: less office space, less equipment, and less energy to heat, cool, and maintain the infrastructure that traditional offices require.

As a 100% virtual organization, and one that is committed to environmental sustainability, how do you support and/or encourage your employees to commit to that sustainability, too?

FlexJobs is dedicated to making environmentally aware decisions for how we run our company and our individual home offices. We consider the environmental impact that our decisions have, and we commit to trying to lessen the impact wherever reasonably possible.

One initiative we have helps employees maintain a green home office by reimbursing them for houseplants to offset VOCs and CO2, and for CFL or LED light bulbs used in their home offices. We are also a carbon-balanced company through TerraPass. Through this partnership, FlexJobs has reduced its carbon emissions by sponsoring clean energy and carbon reduction projects.

As an entrepreneur and busy mother of two young children, how do you stay mindful and find balance on a daily basis?

Practicing mindfulness is definitely something I try to do daily, starting with the simple moments. Whether it’s feeling the sun on my face as we walk to the car to take my kids to school, taking an extra deep breath before responding to one of them asking a question for the 3rd time (without listening to the first or second response!), or hugging them for an extra few seconds before bed. I always try to be mindful that every moment has meaning, and that I have the opportunity to appreciate that in a way that makes me happier rather than unhappier.

Also, although it’s not daily, I practice Bikram yoga, and have for almost 20 years. Doing Bikram has grounded me incredibly in my life as a busy working mom, and quite honestly, is a sanity-saver for me. I also try to meditate regularly, either when I wake up or before I go to sleep.

Finally, I try to be very mindful of my focus during the day as it relates to whether I’m working or whether I’m with my kids. Because I work from home, it’s easy to blur the lines between work time and personal time, letting them creep into each other, which I don’t believe is a good thing. So I aim to have clear boundaries on when I’m working, as well as to give myself permission to unplug from work when I’m done and focus on my family and personal life.

As a successful entrepreneur and founder of several different organizations, what’s next for you?

In addition to FlexJobs, over the last few years, I’ve founded 1 Million for Work Flexibility, which is right in line with my belief that everyone should have access to flexible work options, and that both companies and individuals (and the environment!) benefit from work flexibility. I’ve also started Remote.co, a one-stop resource for people and companies to learn best practices for remote work so that we can all benefit.

We also recently hosted our second annual TRaD*Works Forum, which brings together the best and brightest minds in the telecommuting, remote, and distributed (TRaD) work community. It’s a great gathering of individuals from the corporate, government, and nonprofit worlds who all see remote work as a huge opportunity with awesome social, business, and environmental benefits.

If you could give our readers one piece of advice for finding or creating their own meaningful work as entrepreneurs, what would that advice be?

Trust your instincts as a very valid part of the equation. It’s important to be responsible and consider your instincts along with other priorities, information, and factors. But I have learned that my core intuition is often a more reliable guide to how I can find my own happiness and authenticity in my career (and life), and so I am very conscientious with it.

Sara and FlexJobs would like to offer you a chance to try their service and find your own meaningful work that you can do from home in your pajamas. As a reader of She Owns It, please use the code SAVE30 to receive up to 30% off your subscription to FlexJobs.com.

Photo credit: Sara Sutton Fell/FlexJobs

It’s 2018, Corporate America—Why Aren’t There More Flexible And Remote Work Options? by @ChristyCareer

January 26, 2018 by Christy Williams Leave a Comment

by Christy Williams | Featured Contributor

I am shocked that we still don’t have more flexibility in America in 2018.

Maybe my head has been buried in the sand. Or maybe it’s just because I’ve worked for a company that is so committed to helping people find the flexible jobs they need, that I thought there was more flexibility out there than there really is.

But my experience as someone who is currently looking for that additional side hustle is that there is still a limited amount of flexibility to be had.

I’ve written before about how I would really love to work full time at this point in my life, but I simply can’t within the rigid parameters of a 9-5 workweek. Two kids at two different schools with no busing means I just don’t have enough time that fits within the confines of a super-structured day.

Do I have enough available hours in my weekly schedule to work a full-time job? Absolutely. But some of those hours would have to be nights or weekends. That’s simply what my family’s needs are right now.

But there have been a few organizations that have especially surprised me with their lack of flexibility. They are women-owned, small businesses that are focused on helping women find career opportunities. And within the last several months, three of those organizations have been recruiting for positions that I would be well-suited for. Full- or part-time writer/editor for a career-based website and online service, focused on women. Ummmm…check, check, check. I have experience in all of the above.

So what am I missing? Geographic location.

These organizations are based in Los Angeles and New York, and want someone to work at the office with them. And actually, the company based in New York even said the job could be done remotely after a few days of training at the office, but they still want the candidate to be based in New York.

Now, again, maybe it’s because I have experience working for a completely distributed company where we all worked from our home offices—but I just don’t understand the reasoning behind this.

When I worked at this company, we had a number of communication tools available to us that we all used on a daily basis. Slack, Yammer, and Sococo were among the platforms we would use to communicate with each other every day.

We even had team-building activities using these programs. Once or twice a month, we played trivia as a company on a Friday afternoon, where we all grabbed an adult beverage of our choice and broke up into teams to play. So much more fun than any standard team-building activity in an office setting.

And the funny thing is, I feel closer to that family of co-workers I only knew virtually than I do with any other company I’ve ever worked for face-to-face in a central location. Bar none.

So why are so many so-called modern, progressive, “cutting edge” companies still not embracing more flexible work options—at least more than just your basic flextime?!

I first became a flexible-work evangelist when my boss at the time adopted a new baby and wasn’t able to take any paid time off to be with him. That was in 1998. 1998! That was 20 years ago!

Shouldn’t we be further along as a country than we are right now?!

That position I mentioned in New York? This was the second time it has been posted since September. So that only leads me to believe that either the first applicant hired just didn’t work out, or that they are still looking after months of recruiting. Either way, they could expand their field of applicants exponentially by opening up their search—and their minds—to remote applicants.

As someone with human resources experience, I am well aware that they might not be set up as an employer in my state. But perhaps it’s worth considering whether it would be cost-effective and appropriate within FLSA guidelines to have the company be set up as an employer in additional states—or even to consider if the position could be a contractor role.

But more importantly, there is a robust workforce out there of educated women who are interested in careers that fulfill them, but corporate America is missing out because an entrepreneur’s schedule can (sometimes) be more flexible. While I have always been a huge supporter of entrepreneurs and women starting their own small businesses, I also wish that employers—especially women-owned businesses—would start embracing more flexible work options.

If we are going to change the culture of our male-oriented workforce, it is going to have to come from women. Yes, there are a lot of men in leadership who are aware that our workforce needs have changed as women have become a bigger and bigger proportion of corporate America—and as men have stepped up like never before in sharing the parenting responsibilities at home.

But we still have a long, long way to go.

At least from where I stand.

And I’m looking at all you women-owned businesses to do your part in this cause. A cause–and responsibility—that will only benefit us all in the long run.

Image: Photo by Christy Williams