love | She Owns It

Trust and Betrayal: A Braving of Marriage by @glowing_still

February 25, 2018 by Johanna Galyen Leave a Comment

by Johanna Galyen | Featured Contributor

Love in marriage is like walking a high-wire.

Look out down below!

One small slip and suddenly you are faced with betrayal. Loss. Hurt feelings. Raw emotions.

When your world starts spiraling out of control, what will you grab onto? What will allow your heart to heal? What will allow you to stop putting walls between you and your spouse and open yourself to vulnerability and love?

It is a simple word, but almost impossible to define.

Trust

A lack of trust a relationship will cause it to slowly die from within. The walls are high and thick and impossible for any spouse to scale.

A loss of trust is a betrayal. A dishonesty. A deep disappointment. It is a deep, hot pain. A searing knife that burns immediately upon contact. Its presence is deadly to any relationship. Nothing short of a miracle will cure the disease of betrayal…yet its scars will remain for a lifetime.

When trust is found, it is a little piece of heaven. It is safety, security, a calmness of heart, it is true happiness.

Trust is not built in large grandiose acts of love. It is not swooping in to save the day like Prince Charming on his gallant steed. It is built on small acts of caring.

“When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly.” Blaine Lee

No one ever really wakes up and says, “Today, I want to be vulnerable!” but for a relationship to thrive, that is exactly what is needed. Being vulnerable, by definition, opens you up to the possibility of hurt either physically or emotionally (www.dictionary.com). Just the even the chance that you could be emotionally hurt is enough for some people to keep their walls high and gates securely locked.

In Brené Brown’s book, “Rising Strong”, she offers 7 explanations of what trust exactly is by using the acronym B.R.A.V.I.N.G.

B – boundaries

Setting clear and well-marked boundaries for yourself and your relationship. Know exactly what you will and won’t do in your marriage. If you made a vow, then stay within that boundary! This provides security and comfort for both of you.

R – reliability

You can be counted on. If you say something, then you keep your word. Promises are not broken with you.

A – accountability

While no one is perfect, if you make a mistake, then own up to it. Seek restitution and forgiveness in your marriage.

V- vault

In every good relationship, there are secrets that are made to be kept. Whether it be the location of your grandmother’s diamond ring or some horrific embarrassing event, keep your mouth closed. Don’t share intimate details with other people. Loose lips sink ships – was the motto of World War II. Loose lips also sink marriages by losing trust; so if your spouse has shared with you something (not illegal of course), keep that in confidence.

I – integrity

Dr. Bob Jones, Sr was quoted saying “Do Right ’till the Stars Fall.” Hopefully, the stars will not be falling out of the sky, but the saying is still true. Always do what is right. Do it honestly and with uprightness of spirit. By keeping integrity in your marriage, you will show your spouse that you are a trustworthy person.

N – non-judgment

In the definition of vulnerability, you are opening yourself to the possibility of emotional harm. Unfortunately, mistakes will happen in life. Emotional harm can be done. But each person in the marriage needs to have the freedom to fly and try new things in life…without fear of judgment from the other spouse. There is never a need for an “I told you so!” statement in marriage. Nor is there ever a place for a condescending look or expression. Give your spouse the freedom to try new things in their career, clothing choices, education, or business. By being their cheerleader, and not a judge, you will give them the impetus needed to expand their horizons…and in turn, their love for you will increase exponentially.

G – generous

1 Corinthians 13:7 states “Love beareth all things”. It is generous. Love allows you to give freely and abundantly. It believes and remembers the kindness that you have demonstrated in the past. It allows you to make mistakes. A generous heart knows that just because you mess up, does not mean that you are a failure.

No matter what difficulties you are facing in your marriage, I challenge you to be BRAVING in your response. To open your heart with vulnerability and allow it to be healed by your spouse’s trust. Be kind in your responses, keep those confidences, be their cheerleader, seek accountability and forgiveness…but most importantly, love abundantly and generously! Love given is never subtracted, it is only multiplied.

Johanna Galyen

Johanna Galyen, Christian Life Coach at Glowing Still

Johanna is a Christian Life Coach focused on helping women have loving & intimate marriage. She is married to her Galyent knight of 14 years, a homeschooling mother of 4 children (including a teenager who is taller than her). She loves blogging about marriage and her faith. And offers one-on-one coaching through Skype and FaceTime.

She adores cruising on the warm Caribbean sea with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand and prefers jet skiing over shopping. Every Saturday in the fall, she’ll be wearing bright orange and cheering on her UT Volunteers to victory and one day she dreams of having her own Thomas Kinkade gallery of puzzles.

glowingstill.com/

10 Lessons Peaceful Mama @LaurieDelkLife Taught Me by @ClinkAndChat

March 13, 2017 by Mella Noir Leave a Comment

by Mella Noir | Featured Contributor

Ever met a woman who is an expert in the wine world, a cocktail enthusiast, a craft beer sommelier and a champagne connoisseur? But, to balance the scales, she also lives a mindful life of eating vegan and gluten-free, practicing yoga, hiking and meditation every single day?

I have, and her name is Laurie Delk.

She supplements her additional time (haha) by being a loving mother to her brilliant and precocious son, reading volumes of books, visiting art museums regularly and always, ALWAYS expanding her mind and horizons. I met Laurie when I was traveling and caught sight of a beautiful woman on the cover of a local magazine. Her smile was radiant and her eyes beamed love and light. I decided I must know her, picked up the magazine and emailed her that night asking her to come onto my podcast “Clink, Chat & Catch Up!“. She graciously agreed and through many bubbly brunches, calls and adventures together — I am proud to call her one of my closest friends…

Today, we get together to share a few ideas, so simple to Laurie, but so enlightening to our souls, spirits and hearts.

1. Meditate – We all desperately need “brain breaks” in our overstimulated, overstressed lives. Closing your eyes for even 5 minutes a day calms the “monkey mind”, slows our heart rate, regulates our breath, and relaxes our body. **Having trouble getting going? A great place to start is Oprah and Deepak Chopra’s free online meditation sessions every few months. My #1 recommended phone app is Insight Timer. With sleep, morning, relaxation, and even “Mini-Moments” meditations, there is something for everyone. You will even find yourself mediating with people from around the world in a truly unified mission of meditation.

2. Create a Supple Body With Yoga – Finding new energy and strength in your body and your inner self is one of the most empowering things you can do. When you stretch, you not only release tight muscles, but emotional toxins. *Can’t afford a yoga membership or think you don’t have time? There are an endless selection of yoga videos on You Tube for anytime home or travel practice. Your body will become strong and lithe, and you will find yourself walking with grace and posture.

3. Move to a Plant-Based Diet – Going vegan isn’t just a radical, anti-establishment movement, it’s about practicing a better life for yourself, animals, and the planet. When done properly, you will experience a lightness and energy you haven’t experienced in years, or perhaps ever. Besides feeling like you’re 25 when you’re 40? There’s compassion. Your heart and spirit are freed from contributing to acts of cruelty on another sentient being. How beautifully liberating!

4. Drink Water (Especially in the Morning) – I realize this sounds like a “duh” one, but I’m always amazed how many people still drink soda for breakfast. Our bodies need flushing, and the morning is a great time to do it. Squeeze some lemon in your water for your first 12-20 oz of fluid in the morning. Yes, before your coffee. I promise you will feel the difference, and your skin will thank you.

5. Hike – Get out in nature, and I don’t mean running or whizzing by on your bicycle. These are wonderful endeavors, but hiking makes you slow down, and really feel the ground beneath you. You will challenge your body and your mind as you progress in difficulty and you become attuned to nature and the wonders of this magnificent planet. Not to mention it keeps your brain razor sharp, as concentration and processing are musts to navigate rocks and terrain without a nasty fall.

6. Pay attention (Particularly to your Own Body) – One of my biggest mantras of life. Signs are always around you to be noticed. Get out of the tunnel and look around. If you are struggling with diabetes, obesity, eating disorders, or health problems, listen to your body. It is telling you (sometimes screaming) what you need and don’t need. Tune in your heartbeat, the condition of your skin, your hair, your tummy. If you practice mindfulness in your eating and your daily habits, your body will tell you what works, and what doesn’t. What comes next is called willpower.

7. Don’t Ever Give Up – Life is hard. There are times when you feel like you will never reach your goals, and the odds seem too great. That’s when you meditate, realign your mind and spirit, and take ONE more step. Try not to focus too intently on the long term goal (I know that’s a challenge!), just put one foot out and take the next step. You don’t need strength for months down the road, you need strength for today.

8. Sleep – It’s hard to overestimate how crucial this is to our mind, body, and spirit. As a single mom, I know how easy it is to fall down the rabbit hole of work, obligations, social time, media, and being a parent. But for the love of your sanity, lay down. Facebook and Instagram will be there in the morning.

9. Give – Whether it’s money, food, or simply your time, giving is one of the most fulfilling things you can do in this life. I truly believe it’s why we are all here, to love, to share, to accept, and to give to others. Don’t let hatred, bigotry, and prejudice (social or personal) blind you to another’s suffering and needs. There is always someone who needs a helping hand, whether it’s a child, a senior, the homeless or orphaned animals. Pick your passions and put your heart into it.

10. Practice Gratitude – This truly encompasses all of the others. The quickest way out of anger, despair, hurt, and frustration is finding something to be grateful for. For your health, your child, your food, your bed, the choices are endless. I know it’s hard, it’s a lifelong struggle to stop a downward spiral and turn the tide. But it can be done, and meditation and prayer in particular are marvelous paths to realizing just how blessed your are. Love, light, and blessings to you all!

What I learned from Laurie is that every moment counts. There is beauty everywhere and it is up to us to open our eyes and take it all in. Compassion for ourselves, compassion for others, compassion for animals will make this world a better place. Taking care of your body, mind and spirit is our duty, but guess what? We can enjoy doing it along the way. All the tips she gave are what she does daily — she practices what she preaches…and a more happy, joyfilled, spirited, lively, radiant person, (despite her own trial and tribulations) there could not be.

Thanks for the lessons, Laurie!

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Mella Noir

Mella Noir – Entrepreneur Success Stories & Inspirational Profiles

Mella‘s great love of the English language began her adventures in journalism, with a side passion for sales and marketing. She segued into advertising, and her fascination for both people and Champagne propelled her flute first into event and party planning. Many soireés, fêtes, and galas later, she’s still popping corks, clinking and chatting her way through life. She was an original “Champagne Sister“, and hosted *Clink, Chat & Catch Up!*, where she profiled inspiring and passionate entrepreneurs and shared their story of finding and following their dreams. Along with her fellow international hosts, she created over 130 Bubbly Talk Radio Network podcasts, interviewing Kathy Ireland, Richard Simmons, Rex Pickett, Heather McDonald, Charles Stiles, Simon Majumdar, Nico Santucci and more. Mella produced “Inspire And Influence with Bri Seeley”, “The Flute Enthusiast”, “Life in the Lady C Lane”, and “Clink And Chat Real Housewives” and is proud to have been featured in the book “The Inspirational Woman Project”. Mella is a huge twitter advocate and besides curating entrepreneurs @BubblyTalkRadio, she shares social media content @ClinkAndChat and spreads bubbly love at @ChampagneChat. She enjoys travel and writes reviews for The Bespoke Black Book. For over a decade, she’s been trusted to run social media accounts including celebrities Winsor Harmon (Bold And The Beautiful), Peter Madrigal (Vanderpump Rules), and Eliza Roberts (Animal House) as well as many premium brands, restaurants and individuals. She’s well known on the red carpet circuit, live tweeting and interviewing celebrities like Ryan Gosling – and, most recently the Emmy award winning “The Bay” with publicist partner Jackie Lewis Media. Nowadays, Mella focuses on all aspects of PR as a digital media strategist…need help online? Send her an email: MellaNoirPR@gmail.com

3 Steps To More Prosperity, Love, and Joy by @SheilaViers

September 2, 2014 by Sheila Viers 2 Comments

by Sheila Viers | Featured Contributor

For most of my life I’ve craved three things: prosperity, love, and joy.

My gut tells me that you may be into these three things too.

There’s all kinds of rules and check lists across the interwebs on how to create these things in our life, but honestly I think it’s a lot simpler than most of us think.

Here’s my Cliff’s Notes version on how to get into the flow and attract these things rather than going about it the hard way.

1. Choose How You Want To Feel

In order to experience more prosperity, love, and joy we have to open ourselves to receiving them. When we are closed off and constricted, stuck in worry, fear and resentment we aren’t open to opportunities and all of the amazing experiences that can literally fall in our lap when we are present, clear, and engaged with life.

Are you waiting to feel good? Every single day, in every single situation, you have the choice to be contracted and closed-off or open and connected. It’s up to you which way you choose to show up.

No one else has control over who you choose to be and it’s not their responsibility to “feather your nest” so that you can be happy. Stuff happens, and it’s up to us to decide to be okay, happy, healthy, open-hearted, and in the flow or not. We don’t have to wait for situations to clear up or some milestone in the future in order to feel how we want to feel.

The past is gone and the future is only an illusion. All we have is this moment right now. Life is short; we might as well enjoy every minute that we can.

You want more of the good stuff? Start looking for it everywhere in your life right now, and appreciate the heck out of it, even if that’s only in a few spots. Keep your focus on how you want to feel instead of how you don’t want to feel.

Appreciation is like a magnet to attracting more prosperity, love, and joy.

2. Get Clear On How You Want It To Look

Once you open yourself up to prosperity, love, and joy, the next step is deciding what that would look like for you.

Once you’ve got that down, hold that vision in your mind as often as possible. A lot of people think that visualizing is just for the airy-fairy woo-woo types, but actually there is all kinds of science that backs up why visualizing things the way you want them to play out actually has a positive affect.

Here’s the thing, it’s not just about seeing it in your mind. It’s about what happens after you align your energy.

Deliberately placing your attention on what you want creates intention and it opens up your creative genius juices. When you line up your energy and get clear on what you want, you stop blocking yourself and making excuses for why things aren’t the way you want them to be.

You spend more time being inspired and less time feeling sorry for yourself.

The more you consciously focus your attention toward what you want, the more focused you will be in your actions.

Success isn’t just about taking action. It’s about taking inspired action.

3. Clear Your Blocks

“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now, with its aches and it pleasures, is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.”

— Pema Chodron

I love this quote because it makes us realize that we have all that we need right now. There is no lack and things do always work out according to our expectations.

Once you’ve chosen how you want to feel on a day-to-day basis (not at some far off point in the future) and then you decide how you want that to look (lining up your energy), the next step is clearing any blocks that may be standing in your way.

Sometimes it’s tough to see our own blocks and that’s where a good coach can be helpful. That being said, I assure you, once you make a conscious decision to begin looking for them, you’ll begin to see what’s holding you back.

It’s time to get honest and ask yourself some powerful yet vulnerability-inducing questions. Here are a few good ones to start with:

Am I miserable right now in order to punish others?

Am I stalling my growth because I stubbornly want other people to do things for me in order to make me feel safe?

Am I cycling in my pain because I’m being lazy with my thoughts and behaviors?

Best one of all:

Am I willing to let go of old, self-debilitating thoughts and behaviors in order to replace them with new, more empowering ones?

Life can become incredibly prosperous, love and joy-filled when we’re willing to say YES to change leaving self-sabotage and victim mentality in our dust.

What’s one way you can implement these steps in order to bring more prosperity, love, and joy into your life?

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Holistic Life Coach & Weight Loss Expert – Sheila Viers, The Non-Diet Approach To Weight Loss

Healthy living advocate Sheila Viers is the CEO of the premium fitness and yoga bag brand, Live Well 360, and Creator of ROCK Your Dream Body. Renowned for her practical and intuitive self-love philosophy, Sheila’s healthy living journey began a decade ago when she decided it was time to end her struggle with emotional eating and self-sabotage for good.

After years of yo-yo dieting, over-exercising, and issues ranging from food sensitivities to hormonal problems, she learned how to get out of “body jail,” lost 35 pounds, and now teaches women how to create this freedom and ease in their own lives.

Today Sheila’s passion is to help women feel amazing in their skin along the way to the greater vision that they see for themselves. Her vision extends far beyond weight loss and her unique ability to inspire women to step into their potential, by ROCKIN’ their dream body and in turn, their dream life, is catching fire.

Sheila believes that together, women can change how we view ourselves and each other so that we can embrace our perfectly imperfectness, shine our light, and allow ourselves to experience the love and happiness that we all crave and deserve.

For more from Sheila, sign up for her VIP newsletter at sheilaviers.com/freegift an follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram!

Sheila Viers

12 reasons why loving yourself matters in business…by @SarupaShah

February 26, 2014 by Sarupa Shah 1 Comment

by Sarupa Shah | Featured Contributor

What is love? This month you would be mistaken to think love was all about mushy, romantic gestures. It was Valentines but that is just some manmade nonsense in the big scheme of things!

The love I am writing about is a spiritual state of being. It is what our universe is made of and it is about you, never about anyone or anything else.

There isn’t a person who is on this planet who wouldn’t benefit from loving themselves more in balance. You might think there are those who love themselves too much, but underneath that is a whole heap of insecurity.

Loving yourself in balance is so important when it comes to business.

Stop fearing that ‘loving you’ will put you out of balance and instead start being who you truly are at the very core, which is a woman who loves herself with wild abandon, because loving yourself matters in more ways than you can imagine.

Here are 12 reasons why loving yourself matters in business

When you love yourself you are going to be kinder and more compassionate to yourself and move on from failure stories much quicker.
Being compassionate towards yourself means you will love yourself more and do things that support you more.
Loving yourself means you will appreciate yourself more When you appreciate yourself you will start to value yourself more and when you value yourself you will start to charge your true worth!
Loving yourself is a better place to ‘attract’ what you truly desire, yes, you have to love yourself enough to want the best for you too.
If you love yourself you will reduce your stress as you will know that everything will work out because you love yourself.
Loving yourself is a spiritual state of being it enables your heart chakra to get stronger and will reduce the power your emotions have over you. Business and emotions are like a Molotov cocktail.
When you love yourself you respond to situations rather than react, which means you are in balance not panic!
When you love yourself you allow yourself to have more fun; that is the biggest purpose in anyone’s life, to have FUN! When you can bring this FUN into your business, business starts to become the ‘doing what you love (DWYL)’ experience for real.
When you love yourself you will find that others treat you with more lovingly, so they will be compassionate, appreciate and value you.
Loving yourself isn’t a vastness it has boundaries which are there for other people, so if you feel people take advantage of your desire to be in service, then love yourself more for your loving boundaries to appear or be created by you. A boundary means you don’t give it away for free!
When you love yourself you create abundance for yourself, not just money as said above, but time, health and everything else.
When you love yourself more you let love be the reason why and not fear.

What do you think? What would you add? Are you ready to love yourself more this month and evermore?

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Sarupa Shah is an award winning intuitive business coach and the owner and founder of The Soul Agency. The Soul Agency works with women entrepreneurs and leaders across the globe who want to put soul and spirit back into their life and the world. Her passion and power is to show women how to heal their relationship with money, discover their life purpose and get on with living the dream. If you connect with Sarupa and sign up to her newsletter you get a FREE 8 part email course focussing on manifesting, intuition, spiritual power, business planning and healing your money story! You get meditations, eBooks and toolkits to get your soul and spirit back into business!

To learn more at The Soul Agency or her blog.

Sarupa Shah