Mental Health | She Owns It

3 Ways to Reduce Anxiety and Put the “Fun” Back into “Functioning” by @DrSandraH

April 4, 2016 by Sandra Hamilton, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

by Dr. Sandra Hamilton | Featured Contributor

Most of us say we are “stressed” as often as we say we are hungry; but how often do we confuse feeling stressed with a health condition that may sabotage our functioning? Our ability to adapt to rising stress levels can become so familiar to our existence, that what we call “stress” may actually be a mental health syndrome known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Nine percent of Americans will be diagnosed with GAD within their lifetime, and well over half of them will be female and approximately thirty years of age.

The hallmark symptoms of GAD are excessive worries that are plentiful, frequent, and disproportionate to the reality of the individual’s circumstances. Other common symptoms include muscle tension, nervousness, and feeling “keyed up” or unable to relax. Not surprisingly, the toll of excessive worrying may disrupt sleep and concentration, lead to fatigue or irritable mood, and even manifest as physical symptoms such as nausea or a headache.

Sound familiar? Consider Laura’s scenario:

Laura had been called a “worry wart” as long as she could remember. She worried about the usual demands of life — her job, relationships, and finances. Laura also focused on less consequential issues, such as an exchange she had with a cashier at the grocery store, or what might happen when she met up with friends after work.

When she was promoted to a more challenging position in her organization, Laura found herself constantly worrying about her new job responsibilities, as well as other less urgent issues such as wardrobe choices and the weather forecast. She had trouble getting to sleep as she reviewed what she needed to do the next day, thought about events she heard about on the news, and remembered the conversations she had with people during the day.

Laura’s unremitting apprehension began to wear on her body. She noticed she felt nauseated before she left for work, and her neck and shoulders began to feel tense most of the time. As a result of her lack of sleep, she felt fatigued and scattered in her thinking. Laura began to feel mildly depressed as she noticed that the clear–headed and efficient behaviors that led to her promotion were no longer a natural part of her functioning.

Laura’s symptoms are characteristic of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). On their own, any of Laura’s symptoms would be considered harmless; but when symptoms combine and endure over several months, they are likely to add up to a mental health issue. What is insidious about GAD is that many of the signs appear unrelated to anxiety because they are diverse and nonspecific. It would be easy to erroneously conclude that insomnia, headaches, and excessive worrying point to nothing more than a need for a vacation.

What you can do:

Observe yourself.

When we are under stress, we can lose track of ourselves and ignore disruptive thoughts, feelings, and physical complaints. Continually adapting without examining our daily experience will likely lead to a need for medical and psychological assistance.

Get it on paper.

People tend to ignore or forget signs and symptoms of anxiety during a stressful time. If you are going through a challenging phase of your life, keep a log of your physical and emotional reactions to stress. Consistently tracking any changes in your mind and body is the most effective way to assess how your current situation is affecting you.

Seek professional help.

If your worries and other symptoms persist for at least six months, see your physician to rule out a medical explanation for your condition. If you are given a clean bill of health, pursue the help of a qualified mental health professional.

We all have worries, and some days and weeks are worse than others, but life is too short to unknowingly suffer. The chronic worry, irritability and other symptoms of GAD that we attribute to stress can unwittingly become our “new normal” while taking their toll on our relationships and work performance. When worries control our behavior and rob us of life’s pleasures, it’s time to get some help and put the “fun” back into functioning.

—————————————————————-

Dr. Sandra Hamilton

While taking pre-med classes at the University of California, Santa Barbara, I became so distracted by psychology courses that I changed my major to pursue a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. My contributions to She Owns It are drawn from the professional perspective of a clinical psychologist, as well as the personal point of view of a single working mother and entrepreneur. I have maintained an independent psychology practice for over 20 years, taught as an adjunct assistant professor for over a decade, and somehow managed to survive raising two spirited daughters.

My expertise is grounded in years of working with individuals, couples, and families who have worked their way through catastrophic experiences as well as the inevitable demands of adult life. I admire their tenacity each time they schedule another session in the face of painful insights and difficult feelings.

Therapy is not a haircut. It’s not a quick fix, and you don’t always feel better when you leave.

Let’s connect: Website | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | Pinterest

Sandra Hamilton, Ph.D.

http://drsandrahamilton.com/

3 Ways to Rev Up Your Self-care Game in 2016 by @karen_doniere

December 23, 2015 by Karen Doniere 2 Comments

by Karen Doniere | Featured Contributor

With the New Year comes the expected, beloved, and somewhat dreaded New Year’s resolutions. While there’s nothing wrong with making resolutions, it’s time to be more intentional with your goals. Instead of making several resolutions that may or may not drift by the wayside by January 31^st, you should focus on creating a few achievable goals, or even a plan. I’m referring to a self-care routine. I’m an advocate for maintaining my mental and emotional health by often engaging in renewing self-care activities. I’d also appreciate it if you’d join me in the struggle. But first, let me explain why following a self-care regimen has been a struggle for me.

Like many ambitious and hardworking women, I’ve often put myself last on the to-do list. When there’s so much to do, it’s hard to figure out how to schedule that manicure, or to find time to enjoy a favorite TV show. A few years ago, I barely did anything nice for myself or hung out with friends. Sadly, I rationalized that I couldn’t do any real self-care due to time constraints, parenting two small children, managing household chores, and dwindling financial resources. As a result, I became easily annoyed and more cynical. Let’s face it, I missed a lot of quality time alone, and with good friends. I want to help you avoid the same mistakes so you can feel your best, and achieve more of your goals from this moment on!

Here are 3 ways to rev up your self-care game in 2016.

1). Decide what your new self-care goals will consist of.
Do you want to go to bed earlier to get eight hours of sleep every night? If so, what do you need to do to make that happen? Perhaps you need to allow enough time to wind down with warm tea or soft music. Or, maybe you need to allow enough time to read, enjoy a glimpse of social media, and prepare for the next day so you can be in bed earlier. For example, throughout November, I’ve challenged myself to be in bed between 10:00 – 10:30 pm so that I can rise at 5:00 am, and be ready to conquer my day. It means that I have to do the prep work such as fix my lunch and mid-morning snack, get work clothes and accessories ready, and fill my tote bag with projects before I can even get into bed. Then, depending on what time it is, I’ll have a few minutes to read or check social media.

If you’d like to exercise more, start a girl friends potluck, or a book club to connect with like-minded women; it’s as simple as saying it, writing it down, and breaking the necessary tasks into smaller, doable steps. And, one of the most important tasks is to schedule your first fun activity. Download my latest eBook, 3 Steps to Creating the Perfect Self-care Plan, to help you gather your thoughts, and create a fabulous self-care routine. Click the image!

2). Create a plan.
Realizing that self-care looks different for every woman, and no one has the right to dictate what your self-care routine looks like is an important aspect of taking your self-care serious. It’s really about being present and renewing your spirit by engaging in something fun, relaxing, or beneficial. And, getting eight hours of sleep or more is very beneficial for your mental and physical health. What’s fun and relaxing to one person, may be repulsive and boring to someone else. You may like doing free activities, whereas I may enjoy doing a plethora of free and paid activities to renew my spirit. Thus, decide what you want to do for your personal self-care time, and find out as much about it as possible. Do you want to exercise, journal, take a craft or dance class, or learn something new? Check your local Internet listings for a community calendar with low cost or free activities.

As a creative, I find it hard to narrow my focus to only one thing because I love trying new things. I want to take cooking, painting, and knitting classes, and rekindle my interest in sewing and modern dance.

3). Make it happen.
Now it’s time to actually put your special activities on the calendar and make your family and friends aware of them. How often will you do them? Weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly? I think placing them on the calendar makes the activity official, and informing everyone helps them to understand how important your self-care time is to you. It’s also important not to let anything except a brief illness, or a true emergency stop you from doing your activities. Initially, your family or friends may feel slighted if you’re going out to do something fun or relaxing without them. But, the more you stick to your plan, the more receptive and supportive they’ll become.

If you’d like to take a sewing or exercise class that meets twice a week, simply remind everyone a day or two before the class, ask for additional support with household chores or errands, and literally run out the door to renew and recharge your spirit. Another alternative is to invite a family member or friend to join you for one of the sessions.

Although many of us lead very busy lives, we can make the time to take care of our mental health by engaging in relaxing, enjoyable activities. We can focus on revving up our self-care game in 2016 by renewing and recharging our spirit in order to feel our best, and slay our goals. What renewing self-care activities do you plan to enjoy in 2016?

———————————————————————–

Karen Doniere is an author, blogger, and speaker with a passion to inspire women, moms, and mompreneurs to take better care of themselves. She is the chief curator of the KD Collection, where she shares her heart in every article. Karen is the author of the new Baby Bear children’s book series, and the creator of The Forgiveness Project: a positive and healing conversation where women feel safe to share their journeys. Through her mentorship program, she helps women turn their ideas into achievements, one plan at a time. Karen’s inspirational articles have been featured on websites such as She Owns It and She is Fierce.

Karen enjoys volunteering at her local domestic violence shelter, where she assists clients with polishing their resume and job interview skills. Her favorite titles are wife, and mom to three amazing young adults.

Website | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Facebook

Karen Doniere

The Face of Depression by @chicmompreneur

December 16, 2014 by Guest Post Leave a Comment

by Nancy Laws

I was overwhelmed last week with the support that I received from sharing my story with you. So many women were happy that I had the courage to share my mental health journey with you, and some were encouraged and inspired to make a change. Seeing such an outpouring of love and support, inspired me to take it one step further.

It is clear that mental illness is something that is not spoken of often, this is shocking considering the fact that about 12 million American Women suffer from depression. Two-thirds of these women do not get the help that they need.

Although I am sure that many of these women know that they suffer from mental illness, I am just as sure that some may not. I have been on a roller coaster ride with my challenges, including being led down the road to considering suicide. When I look at my 4 angels, the little ones that God has blessed me with, and I think about the fact that I almost left them behind, my heart aches. But it took me getting to that point to understand that something was wrong and that I needed to get help. Thanks to a supportive husband, I got help and was diagnosed with Panic and Anxiety disorder. Honestly though, that barely scratches the surface of some of my struggles, but I continue to fight, and to push through because I know that I need to be healthy for my family.

I want this series to make a difference in the lives of some of the 12 million women struggling with depression, and those struggling with other classes of mental illness. But before you can get help you should know what to look for. Do you know what some of the signs of depression are?

What Does Depression Look Like?

Hopelessness

It is our ability to hope for the better that allows us to stay positive when we are going through difficulties. Depression makes everything seem hopeless, as if you can no longer overcome anything. You lose the will and strength to fight.

You give up on yourself and those that you love most.

Loss Of Interest In Daily Activities

Why bother getting up if there is nothing you can do to change anything. It doesn’t matter how many times you clean, things will never be clean. There is no point in getting up and working, because you will never catch up on your bills. You are a bad mother anyway, so your children don’t need you. Depression is a liar, one that sits on your shoulder and whispers until you begin to believe everything that he has to say.

Weight Change

Are you suddenly losing or gaining too much weight, too fast? Some eat through their way through their problems while others lose their appetites completely.

Sleep Changes

Are you having trouble sleeping, or are you sleeping your whole day away?

For some feeling their lives crumbling around them can make it difficult to sleep, but some have a hard time staying awake through it all. You will have one or the other, I tend to lean more towards insomnia, and I suddenly become a light sleeper (which I am usually not)

Anger Or Irritability

Everything will begin to irritate you. The most patient mother will suddenly become snappy, unable to keep control of her anger. Those you care about suddenly become easy targets for your uncontrollable anger.

I remember feeling very unbalanced as well, suddenly breaking down in tears out of nowhere, and suddenly feeling angry. Losing control of my emotions unexpectedly.

Loss Of Energy

Depression will make you feel lethargic. Everything will be 10 times as hard as usual, you used to take pride in being fit and healthy but now just walking across the room feels like too much work. You wake up exhausted, even after over sleeping.

Self Loathing

You are a failure as a wife and mother, a terrible business woman or employee. You are fat and vile, weak, and on top of that crazy!

Did I mention before that depression is a liar? But the more you hear something the more likely you are to believe it.

Reckless Behavior

How about starving yourself so that you can look better. You know it’s wrong, but you are a fat slob, you need to do something, your husband is probably disgusted by you.

Or you should harm yourself in other ways, to punish yourself. Maybe start drinking a little too much when you are home alone with they children. Who cares, you need a pick me up.

Reckless behavior is something that can be detrimental to you and those who depend on you, but an unfortunate side effect to depression.

Concentration Problems

How can you concentrate on anything for more than a few seconds when you are dealing with everything above?

Unexplained Aches Or Pains

Sore muscles, headaches, chest pains. One thing I learned when I was diagnosed was that people have actually died from panic attacks. Although the struggle to breath is really mental, your body reacts physically and some have died because they could not breath. This really worried me, because I was pregnant with Ally at the time having 2 to 3 panic attacks on my worst days, and some of the time Corey was not there to help me.

Join me today on a journey to make a small difference in the lives of women as I launch my Healthy Mom Happy Home campaign. Let us make a difference one share at a time.

———————————————————————————

Nancy Laws: I began Afro-Chic Mompreneur to be a guide for the working mom. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people say, you can’t do it all. You can’t be a good mom and have a successful business, yet there are many great women doing it, and doing a pretty damn good job at it. I take it a step further and say not only can you do it, but you can do it and be fabulous. I hope that I can continue to share on other platforms, with great women.

Guest Post