by Lucy Rendler-Kaplan | Featured Contributor
We all have it. That little inner voice that creeps up in the most inopportune times. The one that tells us not to ask for the promotion, that we aren’t good enough, that we shouldn’t accept that date….the list can go on and on. Sometimes it speaks to us loudly and sometimes it is simply a quiet nag throughout our day. It can last for a minute, an hour or a week. Maybe even longer. At times, we didn’t even want to get out of bed, what’s the point?
Then, one day we learned we can talk back. We learned weccan tell that voice that we ARE good enough to go after what we want.
Here are a few tips that I hope will help:
- Start a journal: write down what you were doing each time you began to hear that voice and look for patterns. Learn to recognize that critic for what it is. Next to that list, write down something you did that day that you felt proud once you accomplished it. Look through those proud moments when your inner critic begins to creep in.
- Look in the mirror: look at your reflection and tell yourself ONE good thing about what you see. If you can, keep going! Don’t stop at one. If you can only muster one positive attribute, be happy you recognized the good.
- Place a post-it on your mirror: It can be anything positive, the one on mine says “I am Grateful.” Make sure it’s a mirror you will look into each day, perhaps while you’re brushing your teeth.
- Add a positive to a photo: find a photo of yourself looking happy, a photo you have always liked an use an app that can place a positive self-affirmation or quote over the photo.
- Make a list of your closest friends: for each person, write a couple of sentences about each person on why you are friends, why you like them so much. It is said that we are a product of our five closest friends, so the positive attributes you see in them are most likely also seen in YOU.
- Think about 10 years from now: when something seems hard or I’m feeling down about something small I may have done wrong, I like to remind myself, “Will this REALLY matter 10 years from now?” Remember a test you failed miserably in high school, and thought it would ruin your life, having done so poorly on it? No? Of course you don’t.
- Reframe negative thoughts: put a positive ending on each one. You made a mistake yes, but what did you learn from it?
- Phone a friend: the best way to stop obsessing over your own shortcomings is to get outside yourself. Call a friend and inquire about their day, get THEM talking and truly listen.
- Cut yourself some slack: are you trying to do much? Are you rushing through things because the to-do list seems overwhelming? Move some of the day’s tasks to three days from now. The earth won’t stop turning.
- Put it in perspective: ok, you made a mistake. While your screw up may feel like the end of the world to you, think of how many people truly don’t care? How many don’t even know about it and never will? We are just a small part of a much larger world – teach that inner critic some perspective.
You CAN break this cycle. And you CAN start right now. Let me know in the comments some of the tips that have helped YOU when the inner critic gets too loud.
Lucy Rendler-Kaplan is a marketing veteran, with close to 17 years experience in field marketing management public relations and social media marketing. Both in-house and as a consultant, Lucy has created, developed and managed marketing projects for organizations including: Red Bull North America, ONE Coconut Water, Camel and Ethos Water, to name a few.
Most recently, Lucy has left corporate America to work as a consultant, focusing on small businesses and start-ups to design effective social media and marketing strategies to jumpstart brand growth. In addition to strategic business development efforts, she directs media relations, branding, advertising and website development.
As a social media consultant, Lucy works with companies in auditing their current social media efforts and creating a comprehensive social media strategy that aligns company-wide objectives through social business practices.
With an early background in journalism, Lucy regularly contributes to a number of NFL and music blogs, as well as her own, with a diverse focus encompassing Lucy’s passion not only for networking and marketing but also for fitness. She spends her free time honing her photography skills, running and watching an excessive amount of true crime shows.
Lucy is the founder of Arkay Marketing & PR. A writer from an early age (who could forget the 88 page “Bears” novel from an outspoken 3 year old?!) she’s excited to be writing for She Owns It and loves the feeling of camaraderie and empowerment of the group. When she’s not staying in and writing marketing plans or celebrating wins with clients, she can be found taking selfies with her 15 year old mutt, Desi.