In every room I’ve led, people have confused my cultural identity. I’m a second-generation bicultural Indian American woman. My hair and skin color are a blend of eastern and western features; so are my personality and the way I think. I’m often confused as a Spanish-speaking Latina (in part because I have a Mexican last name). Sometimes people think I’m Middle Eastern, other times they assume I’m white. The hardest part about mistaken cultural identity as a woman of color leader is that people expect me to be something I’m not.
For example, when folks only see me as the “brown Indian girl,” they assume I’m quiet and docile. But I have a PhD, am a critical thinker by nature, and feel strongly about speaking up on issues I care about. When folks only see me as a “white girl,” they’re confused when I talk about issues of culture and cultural dynamics within the workplace. They’re even more surprised when I share opinions that don’t reflect their own.
My experience is not isolated. McKinsey’s 2023 Women in the Workplace report shows that women of color in general, and Black women and Asian women specifically, deal with being mistaken for someone else of the same race. This cultural confusion often leads women of color leaders to feel unseen, unappreciated, and undervalued. At the same time, we fear that speaking up and being more visibly aligned in our cultural identities will prevent us from being taken seriously at work.
Here are a few ways women of color can lead authentically and be taken seriously:
- Own Your Cultural Difference as a Strategic Advantage
Being mistaken for someone else can be demoralizing. But your uniqueness is exactly what makes you powerful. Let go of the “I should be more like…” mindset. Instead, lay a foundation of positive mindsets by listing out what ideas and actions you bring to your workplace that no one else can. Envision yourself bringing your unique contribution to the table & your team benefiting as a result. - Name Your Cultural Identity in the Room
Don’t wait for others to figure you out. Let people know what shaped you, why you do what you do, and how your cultural story informs your leadership. When you speak, lead, or share ideas, say: “As a [Latina / South Asian / Black American] woman, I see it this way…” This allows you to control the narrative of who you are and positively shape how others see you. - Lead with Cultural Alignment, Not Assimilation
Your values (like relationships-first, harmony, collaboration, or indirectness) aren’t weaknesses. They are reflections of your unique culture and should be the foundation for your leadership style. Build a leadership style that honors where you’re from, not just where you work, so that you actually get excited about leading and can finally show up at work the way you’ve always wanted to.
The truth is, you don’t have to shrink your cultural identity to lead. In fact, the more aligned you are with your unique heritage and story, the more confident, compelling, and credible you become. Stop trying to fit into someone else’s expectations to be taken seriously and instead start choosing to show up as the fullest version of yourself. Your voice matters because of where you come from, not in spite of it. When you lead from that place, people notice and they will follow.
Dr. Michelle Reyes is a culturally-informed leadership coach, a professor of cultural engagement at Wheaton College, and the author of the award-winning book, Becoming All Things: How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Connections Across Cultures. She has helped 800+ leaders use aligned communication to create an authentic leadership style that reflects their values. Her work has appeared in Good Morning, America and the New York Times. Sign up for free weekly leadership tips at her website: www.michelleamireyes.com.
