by Lori McNeil
Let’s be honest… as women we have the upper hand…
… yet most women do not recognize or realize exactly how that influence shows itself.
What I am referring to is not about control, equality, or superiority. One word.
Influence.
As women, we are stereotyped into being things like:
A multi-tasker
A nurturer
A talker
A mover
All while being told we are less likely to be:
Focused
Rational
A voice of reason
A leader
We are all those things, and more. Certainly, we can make some general assumptions about differences between men and women, however I would argue that most women embody all those above characteristics and yet have the capacity for more.
Capacity is what allows for multi-tasking to be effective and focused.
Being a nurturer allows for us to see all sides of a situation while being rational.
Talking keeps communication open which brings more clarity, which is the voice of reason.
As a mover, you can be certain we won’t sit around and waste our day, which is often seen as the epitome of leadership.
I speak quite a bit in my Media Secrets book about how to show up when striving to be featured in media, especially main-stream media outlets. How we show up makes all the difference (man or woman) and never goes unseen or unnoticed. While it is true that we never have a second chance to make a first impression, we do have the opportunity to show up consistently and conscientiously.
Here are 3 ways that we can direct the energy flow in any room, venue, circumstance, or situation that we find ourselves in.
○ giving vs getting
○ respond vs react
○ legacy vs leaving
Depending on which energy we enter the room with will decide the flow. When the energy is opposite; showing up with confidence and mental control of our own mind will cause the current energy to attract itself to us. Whether we come in with a positive approach or a negative, we exacerbate the energy.
If the room is positive and we are positive, then we level up the positive. Same goes if we walk into a room of negativity and we are negative.
OR
If we walk into a negative room with confident positivity, we can turn the energy of the room around and vice versa if we walk into a positive room with confident negativity, we can shut down the room.
Giving vs Getting
We know it is always better to give than to receive. Also, that when we give, we also receive however when we get, we rarely give. Showing up with a giving energy whether in heart, soul, mind, or body, others will immediately become attracted to it. This is one reason why fundraising events have so much success, because people are in the giving spirit. By supporting a cause, typically by giving money, we feel better. Knowing that we are supporting something that exists to better someone or some group makes most people elated.
Responding vs Reacting
When faced with a circumstance, an altercation, a piece of information, a conversation we can traverse them by either responding to it (which is typically positive) or we can react to it (typically negative). Regardless if we agree with what is going on, responding to an event is better than reacting to it. Think of (perhaps morbid, but a great example) a car accident. The paramedics on the scene are called ‘first responders’ not first reactors because they are doing something positive… in this case aiding someone who is hurt. On the contrary, if we are accused of something and find ourselves in conflict and react by deflecting or denying or deconstructing the other persons stance the conflict often grows.
Legacy vs Leaving
This one is a bit different. This energy flow is more about how the event you are in concludes. Walking away from the circumstance, the altercation, whatever the event (it) is, has a great affect on how the energy continues. Showing up with positive energy creates a legacy of awareness and presence. When others feel your awareness and your presence to the situation you become focused, that voice of reason. You are the expert, the leader, the rational thinker. Showing up with negative energy people will do everything they can to avoid you, to leave the situation and in the future will create walls, build barriers, and set up boundaries to keep you at a safe distance.
There you have it. Three energies that will design, direct, and determine flow. Share your experiences with either the positive or the negative flow and what results you have had. I’d love to hear your stories.
International Educator, Speaker, Author, and Business Coach, Lori helps entrepreneurs and organizations focus on foundational tools needed for sustained success. As a Curriculum Designer and Business Professor, Lori has helped grow hundreds of organizations organically to build a true, long-lasting purpose. Lori has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, & various regional markets. She has authored / co-authored several books and works globally to support literacy, cancer research, young entrepreneurship, and military programs. Helping raise over three million dollars for literacy, Lori was awarded the Lifetime Presidential Service Award for her work. For more info visit www.lorimcneil.com.
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