What Every Woman, Including Business Owners, Needs to Know Before Filing a Harassment Complaint
The Problem
The unfortunate reality is that many women are dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace on a regular basis. A recent study showed that at least 21% of women have been the direct target of sexual harassment in the workplace. This is concerning because women who are being sexually harassed are not being treated as equals. When a woman is objectified by men in the office, repeatedly asked to go on dates, and subject to consistent comments about her body, she is not being respected in that space. In my work as a sexual harassment attorney, I hear from many women who have left jobs due to sexual harassment. Sadly, women are often leaving jobs they otherwise love because of a harasser. Additionally, they are afraid that speaking up will ruin their career and reputation.
Making the decision to stand up to sexual harassment isn’t easy. I know because I’ve lived it. It is emotionally taxing, stressful, and can be a lengthy process.
Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash
For Employees Facing Sexual Harassment
Most employees assume HR is there to help, guide them, and give them answers when they are dealing with sexual harassment in the workplace. I am here to tell you they are not.
Whether you are a C-suite employee, an intern, or somewhere in between, there are a few things you should be aware of before filing an internal harassment complaint.
- At times, when someone makes a complaint, they are placed on administrative leave pending an investigation. Be prepared for that by saving relevant evidence and documents that you may want or need.
- Prior to filing a complaint, obtain as much evidence as you can to support your claims and your performance history. Do so in a way that does not raise red flags. Never take documents home or forward things to yourself. Rather, screenshot records with your personal devices (as long as the company doesn’t have a policy against that). Do not take any documents with client-protected information on them. Relevant documents usually include messages that show the harassment occurred, performance evaluations, and evidence that other employees were aware of the harassment.
- Unless you are the owner, HR doesn’t work for you; it works for the company. This means you need to obtain your own independent analysis of the law from an attorney who regularly practices sexual harassment law as it relates to you. Doing this before you file the Complaint will put you in a better strategic position.
- HR will likely investigate the situation and this can take weeks or more. Many people think the investigation will be swift, and they will get the results in a timely manner. I often see companies dragging these investigations out, in part because they are developing their legal strategy.
- Consider your goals. Do you want to leave with a settlement? If so, what terms are most important to you? Some relevant terms include negotiating for a positive letter of recommendation or an agreement that the Company cannot disparage you. Would you rather stay and keep your job? Is this realistic or achievable?
- Be prepared for retaliation. Although employers are legally not allowed to treat you worse than other employees after you complain about sexual harassment, I see this happen all the time. Many sexual harassment cases are strengthened by retaliation after my client complains about harassment, because the same kinds of places that fostered a culture of sexual harassment also can’t help but retaliate against someone who speaks up. Retaliation can take a serious toll on employees, and you should be prepared for that and know how to protect yourself. Don’t let your employer gaslight you.
- Don’t wait. Address the harassment by speaking to an attorney as soon as it occurs. This is because you could miss the statute of limitations deadlines. It is crucial that you speak to an attorney about any relevant deadlines.
- Don’t confide in colleagues; call an attorney first. You never know whether what you say to another colleague will be kept confidential. Speak to an attorney first about what kinds of things you should or should not say to colleagues about the harassment.
I often see employees evolve in their thinking on whether they want to leave or stay. It can be hard to give up on a job because of someone else’s bad behavior. Sometimes clients are able to stay and feel good about it, especially if the harasser was removed. More often, my clients realize there was a broader patriarchal and toxic work environment that fostered an environment where sexual harassment occurred in the first place.
If You are a Business Owner Dealing with Sexual Harassment
If you are a business owner facing sexual harassment from a vendor, a client, or someone else, the law is a bit more complex and varies from state to state. Depending on the severity of the harassment, you may be able to bring a workplace harassment claim or another kind of claim that addresses the root behavior. Talk to a sexual harassment attorney who is licensed in your state to discuss your options.
Just like for employees, it is crucial to talk to an attorney as soon as possible and save information that may be relevant to your case. Keep text messages, emails, and other messages that could support your claims. Remove auto-deletion rules from your devices. Don’t try to handle it yourself; speak to a professional who can help you strategically use the law.
My Experience
I founded a law firm that focuses on sexual harassment law because I was subject to sexual harassment multiple times, both in law school and in my career as an attorney. Early on, I felt a lot of shame about this. I was convinced I was doing something wrong and this was somehow my fault. As I got a little older, I realized this was a more pervasive problem than I originally perceived it to be. I also realized I wasn’t the problem; the perpetrators were.
When I started my firm, it was empowering to assist women who were dealing with issues very similar to the ones I had dealt with in the workplace. I was able to tell them on a human level what to expect, as well as on a legal level. I found it disturbing how many people were complaining about sexual harassment and dealing with complicated situations. These women were faced with an impossible choice: speak up and risk not being supported, or choose silence and let the harassment continue.
Something I really respect about many of my clients is that they ultimately speak up because they don’t want another woman to have to deal with the same trauma they have dealt with. It is true that when we speak up for ourselves about sexual harassment, we are holding someone accountable who could otherwise go on to repeat the cycle with another woman once we are gone.
I’ve also learned a few things I wish I knew. First of all, the perpetrators fit a mold. They are narcissistic individuals who are often well-educated and successful. However, they lack empathy. Notably, they don’t care about how their behavior is impacting the women involved. Sometimes it is about power; other times it is about sex. Often, it is both.
The women who are abused are also similar to each other in many ways. They are the kind of employees employers seek to hire: highly successful, type-A, hard workers, with high empathy. The perpetrators are attracted to them for a few reasons. First, they are empathetic and may be sympathetic to the perpetrator’s victim story (there often is one). Secondly, they have worked incredibly hard to get to where they are, so they have a lot to lose.
Whether you are a business owner or an employee, there is no shame in standing up for yourself. If you or someone you know is dealing with sexual harassment, reach out to a plaintiff’s employment attorney as soon as possible.
Megan Thomas is a first-generation law student, former Teach For America educator, and the founder who recently made national news when she sued Syracuse Hancock International Airport in federal court after they blocked her billboard reading “When HR called it harmless flirting, we called it Exhibit A.” She won.
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