Beauty or Beast? Giving Beauty the Upper Hand! by @AskJoshsMom


by Rossana Snee

Most of you have heard the story of Beauty and the Beast. Beauty is a merchant’s daughter—pure of heart, unselfish, giving and loving. Beast, on the other hand, is a grotesque looking creature who’s had a spell cast upon him; broken only when someone loves him despite his hideous appearance. At that point, the spell will be lifted, and he’ll once again turn into the handsome prince he used to be.

Belle ends up in Beast’s castle when she goes looking for her father. As you might suspect, Belle meets Beast, but things don’t go so well. Beast acts like the monster he is, and Belle flees. When she’s attacked by a pack of wolves, Beast saves her, injuring himself in the process. Grateful for the rescue, Belle tends to him, and a friendship ensues. A happy ending follows when Beauty falls for Beast, and the curse is finally removed.

I was reminded, as I thought about this fairy tale, that we have both Beauty and Beast within us. Who among you hasn’t had your beastly side rear its ugly head at one time or another? When Beast is in command, you roar with anger, indulge in negative thinking, criticize yourself, pick fights, withhold love, and close your heart. When Beauty has the upper hand, things are calm, kindness and generosity is the way, you are patient, and think of yourself in a loving way.

So how can you give Beauty the upper hand? First, recognize that Beast is in there. Once you do, you have to STOP:

• Criticizing yourself.
• Letting anger get the best of you.
• Shutting down your heart.
• Attacking others with hurtful words.
• Spreading ugly gossip.

Once Beauty takes over, understand that in times of self-preservation, Beast may be useful, but only then. When you choose to live your life as Beauty:

• You’ll feel joy bubble up inside of you.
• Your inner sanctum will feel like a place of solace and peace.
• You’ll have more energy.
• People will want to be around you.

Indulging Beast means:

• Giving up your precious energy.
• Risking isolation.
• Letting anger rule your emotions.
• Being on the defensive.
• Feeling so badly you literally can’t stand to be in your own skin.

To give Beauty the upper hand, all you have to do is love yourself regardless of how you look, what you weigh, or your station in life. It’s Unconditional.

Allow Beauty to reign in your house. There’s only room for one in there. Choose wisely.


Rossana SneeI am a Marriage & Family Therapist. My goal: to inspire and motivate! I facilitate a monthly group for 20-something women who have questions about any issue, or situation for which they may need guidance. I write a blog:, and have a Facebook page which I use as my venue to touch people.

Share :