by Flesché Hesch | Featured Contributor
“Mama! Mama!” Ahh, the soundtrack of my life. My son was calling me from the other room. I had just taken a quick call before we were to head out to his music class. “Ugh!” said the caller, do you need to go?” The disgust in her voice was palpable.
“No, it’s my son and he’s all set.” My two-and-a” half-year-old, now in sight, was signing to me that he wanted milk. I retrieved it for him and he smiled. He was set. Thank goodness I taught him to sign!
I felt a strange and new sensation in my core. It fascinated me. As a recovering “nice girl,” I felt the urge to apologize for the interruption. My inner mama bear wanted to rip the woman’s head off for implying that I could not have a conversation AND have my son with me. Well, guess what? I’m not sorry!
I am a mom entrepreneur. Notice that the word “mom” comes first. I created my business teaching other women how to launch and grow their own businesses when my son was 13 months old. I literally built my business around him, his needs and my absolute desire to be his primary caregiver.
You could say I was raised this way. My parents are entrepreneurs, running a childcare corporation. I grew up with our family business office in our home. I learned how to be quiet when my parents were on “business calls.” I also learned how to answer the phone “professionally” when I got old enough.
It shaped who I am today, to have had my parents so available to me. I always understood how hard my parents worked for our money and I did my fair share of work as well. I knew how to work a professional stapler when I was 8, as we assembled our own brochures for the child care centers. I spent my summers tagging along with my mom, schlepping papers, materials and encouragement to and from each location. I did filing in our office on the weekends.
Now my son, two-and-a-half years old, is my “associate.” He is little, and everything focuses on him right now. I am so proud to have figured out how to run a flexible and lucrative business for myself and be his mom full-time.
So here was this woman, trying to sell me on her idea no less, acting as if my son was getting in the way of what she wanted. Maybe he was. Well, I’m not sorry!
This is what I know: It is time to change the conversation in this country about the separation of work and family. We cannot pretend that we don’t have families. I believe it is slowly killing each of us.
Too many women I meet live in fear of being fired if they miss work one more time if their kid is sick. Too many women are getting replaced in their jobs during maternity leave against their will. What is “offered” in this country for maternity leave is downright abusive!
I never want to hear another story like these again, which is why I teach women how to start their own businesses and thumb their noses (or another finger) at employment.
Roughly 40% of women will NOT return to work after having children. What if Motherhood and generating in business are not at odds with each other? You can do both!
Now, I’m not saying you can have it all. What I am saying is that you can have what you want. Usually, these are very different things.
We moms are so hard on ourselves and each other. What if we slow down and really ask each other what we want and why? What if we could be honest with ourselves and our loved ones?
I want to hear the next woman I speak to say, “I want to earn $X to help support my family. To that end, I want to do work that supports my natural talents and abilities, not just stay busy at a desk. I want the freedom and flexibility to take my kid to the doctor and the ability to pay for it. I want to go to the grocery store and buy anything my family wants and needs without feeling that tightness in my core when I see the total. I want to be a whole woman. One who has dreams and desires for myself, my children and the whole planet. Will you help me to make this dream a reality?”
I will respond, “Um, yeah!”
Can you imagine asking yourself these questions? Try it on. I think you will like building the life of your dreams, and stop apologizing for wanting so much. Leave a comment below.
Flesché Hesch is a full-time Mama, and Business Advisor for Moms! She brings her training as a (non practicing) Marriage & Family Therapist, Meditation Teacher, and Small Business Coach and Strategist together to create the most positive and empowering Coaching programs for Mom Entrepreneurs! She can often be found at her other office, the playground.
Follow Flesché’s adventures as a Mom Entrepreneur at http://TheBizyMom.com Twitter: @Flesche_H Google+