by Johanna Galyen | Featured Contributor
ReWrite the Rules to Your Advantage
What if you had all the time today to do everything you wanted? How would that feel? Would you shoulders relax a bit more, a feeling of ease come across your mind? What if that really was possible in your busy day with your spouse? It is not hopeless at all; is possible to maximize your day to keep your relationship strong and exciting.
Decrease decision making
One spouse is not responsible for all the decisions. Most people are making decisions all day long. Medical and Law Enforcement make life-altering decisions within moments. Business executives have to decide on events that can cost millions of dollars. Managers are leading and deciding for the business and their team members.
At the end of the day, having to make another decision is exhausting. Dinner choices should not be lumped into the same category as a life-changing decision. Having a pre-set dinner menu or location is very helpful and allows one to relax appropriately. For your spouse, if you know they are tired of making decisions all day long, make what decisions you can today to help them out
Sneak in spontaneity
Rigidly sticking to social norms is restrictive. If you know your spouse has a busy day, pop in the office with their favorite drink. Don’t stay. Don’t linger and talk making it even crazier, but a simple gesture of kindness can go a long way to brighten someone’s life.
Do the extra errand
You can help each other out! If you have the time to be able to help your spouse with their needs, take the time to do it. Pick up the Dry Cleaning. Swing by and get the refill prescription from the pharmacy.
Have a Great Schedule
A great relationship requires planning and scheduling. A good calendar app or planner is essential for both people. Take the time once a week to plan some special time together. Whether it is a dinner out, movie night, or even times of intimacy. Yes. Intimacy. It does not have to be spontaneous or always at the end of the day when you climb exhausted into bed. It can be arranged, planned, and anticipated. Some great ways to build the anticipation is to send a fun (and safe!) text.
Make up your own language about intimacy. Not in Klingon, unless you’re familiar with that language and a serious Star Trekkie. Each couple has special memories and events that trigger inside jokes. Using phrases like that build closeness in a relationship. So keep it PG-13, keep it safe for work, keep it safe from prying little eyes that may be behind you…but make it fun and special. Let your loved one know, in your own special way, that tonight will be extra special.
Get groceries delivered
Ten years ago, if someone would have suggested that one could pull up a website and have groceries delivered curbside to your vehicle, everyone would have laughed their heads off. This is a great way to save money. You are able to get everything on your list, and nothing else. The day-old doughnuts will not catch your eye and ruin the diet you’re on; your budget will improve because the latest sale will be skipped. Simply pull up the app on your lunch break for your favorite grocery store and get the shopping done. On the way home just pick them up, and voila! You have saved yourself so much time and effort.
Automate bills
Nothing will kill a relationship faster than bill paying and forgetting bills. In most big cities, bill automation is extremely common, but smaller towns are slow to pick up on this benefit. Small bills such as garbage, water, and paper delivery may not have this perk. A great way to bypass this is to pay a slightly higher average amount every month. For example, if your water bill is between 70-100 every month, pay $110. That way, you will have a cushion built up if you have a higher month suddenly. Then once in a while, you will be able to skip that bill entirely.
Self-care is important for both of you
Rest. Breathe. Meditate. Relax. Remember to feel and think. Take time out of your busy day or week and schedule yourself something that makes you reset. To make your relationship strong, you need to take the time to take care of yourself.
Related: Power of Aloneness in Marriage
Solitude is where I place my chaos to rest and awaken my inner peace.”
– Nikki Rowe
Burn out is a real issue. Business executives face it just as much a full-time Mompreneurs. By focusing some time on you, you will be able to help others. Stop trying to burn the candle at both ends, and rest before you are forced to rest after a mental breakdown.
Vacation time
Give yourself a change of scenery and do something completely different and fun. Vacations can be easily exhausting, so be careful that you don’t overdo it so make sure you schedule a break day for your vacations. Visiting Disney World and walking 7 miles in one day may seem like fun the first day, but by day three you’ll probably be regretting it. Take some time, sit by the pool, read the book you have been wanting to do, or catch up on the fun side of social media.
By following these 8 ways, you will find that rest and relaxation you need to keep your busy relationship strong! Let me know in the comments which one is your favorite and how it worked for you!
Johanna Galyen, Christian Life Coach at Glowing Still
Johanna is a Christian Life Coach focused on helping women have loving & intimate marriage. She is married to her Galyent knight of 14 years, a homeschooling mother of 4 children (including a teenager who is taller than her). She loves blogging about marriage and her faith. And offers one-on-one coaching through Skype and FaceTime.
She adores cruising on the warm Caribbean sea with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand and prefers jet skiing over shopping. Every Saturday in the fall, she’ll be wearing bright orange and cheering on her UT Volunteers to victory and one day she dreams of having her own Thomas Kinkade gallery of puzzles.
