6 Tips to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts That Hold You Down by @livingoutloud_

by June Silny | Featured Contributor

Every day I am faced with tasks that seem impossible to achieve.

I keep three (paper!) calendars: one in my office, one in my kitchen, and one in the bedroom. I’ve tried every calendar app, but I still feel more secure with a paper planner. (Thank you, Planner Pads). It also gives me a chance to jot down every blog/business idea, speaking event, and appointment in one place.

I feel more secure when I walk by my schedule and glance at it. I can hear it screaming at me like my personal trainer does, making me believe I can do more than I think I can.

I also have my personal life to deal with; unresolved family issues, parental dilemmas that stress me out and wake me up at 4:00 a.m. There are meals to prepare, gifts to buy, upcoming trips to pack for, and a broken washing machine that needs to be repaired.

I teach (and constantly write about) personal excellence . That means I have to continuously work on myself. I must strive to do the best I can in each situation; to manage my emotions, and say the right thing at the right time to the right person (even though I do not always succeed).

The to-do list I can manage. The errands get done; dinner is on the table, and I make it to my appointments on time. But it’s the personal excellence to-do list that haunts me.

Self-improvement is not for wimps.

It’s hard work reserved only for the brave who are willing to take an eye-opening look in the mirror, then be daring enough to make the changes happen.

It’s a struggle that takes courage.

I’ve never climbed a real mountain but a few years ago, my kids took me to an indoor climbing facility for a Mother’s Day adventure. It’s not my idea of a fun activity. I am petrified of heights. Balconies freak me out. Even a picture of anything over one story high makes me dizzy. But I knew I had to face this demon and finally conquer it.

We arrived at the fake mountains (an industrial warehouse with very high ceilings). Looking up all I saw was a grey bumpy wall three inches from my nose. There was no room to breathe. The negative voice in my head began to scream at me. “I can’t do this. What if I start to panic? What if I fall?” But I knew I had to take the first step, my kids were watching me.  I had to start by putting one foot in the yellow painted rock, take a deep breath, and pull myself up. The warehouse ceiling was waiting for me.

The top of the wall appeared unreachable. Doubt overwhelmed me. I was frozen with fear, unable to move forward.  I was tethered to a rope, held by my son who was strong enough to hold me, and whom I certainly trusted. Yet there was something holding me down; the weight of the heavy baggage of my fearful mind. It felt like a stack of bricks on my back. The next step seemed impossible.

Until I realized… this was my moment, my chance to ascend to greatness.

I had to take the first step. I had to leave the sack of mental garbage on the ground. I had to reach for the top, even though I couldn’t see where I was going.

I shocked myself when I touched the top. I was even brave enough to look down to see how far I had come. It was the best Mother’s Day present I ever received. I walked away with a memory. One that returns often. It whispers in my ear when I doubt myself. It reminds me… if I want to ascend to greatness, I have  to follow these 6 tips to get rid of the negative thoughts that hold me down:

1. Make the decision to leave your comfort zone. 

Great things happen when you are willing to do something you’ve never done before.

2. Take the first step.

Start small. Seeing how far you have to go, can be emotionally paralyzing. One small step leads to another.

3. Stay in the present moment.

Don’t forget to breathe. Release all doubts from the past or worries about the future. Be in the present moment.

4. Pull yourself up. 

Believe in your abilities; your strength, courage, and stamina to push through the rough spots.

5. Keep moving forward.

Don’t stop. Momentum is empowering and exhilarating.

6. Enjoy the view from the top.

Look down and see how far you’ve come.

You haven’t conquered the mountain- you’ve conquered yourself.

Today is your day, go for it…  your mountain is waiting.

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June Silny – Happy Relationships Expert – from junesilny.com

You’ll know where June is from as soon as you hear her speak- she’s definitely a New Yorker. Even though she left there at a young age and grew up in Miami Beach, Florida- she still goes for cawfee to tawk to her friends after she walks her dawg.

Her creative passion steered her through many exciting careers.
Starting out as a hairstylist, she was a managing business partner in a salon but also worked in film, theater, and the opera as hairstylist and make-up artist. She also purchased a Jazzercise franchise and became an instructor. Searching for calm and serenity, she taught yoga and meditation. Years later she started a business where she designed and crafted trendy fashion jewelry.

Now she is at home in her soul writing about the life lessons that are hidden away in the mundane events of everyday living. She became a student of the ancient mystical wisdom of Mussar (a spiritual personal excellence program) in 2009 when she began blogging and teaching what she was learning.

June lives in hot and sunny Miami with her husband, children and extended family (not all in the same house- but happily- all in the same city, which certainly gives her plenty to write about).

June Silny