7 Helpful Keys To A Successful Relationship by @KiaraRoseWade1

by Kiara Rose Wade  | Featured Contributor 

As a young woman, I often receive the phrase, “Oh you’re too young to be married” or the classic question,”Are you sure he is the one for you?” While it may seem like a never-ending broken record you learn that some people just genuinely care about you and want to ensure you are making the right decision. When it is all said and done you must be the one that is truly happy with your decision. I know I am not the only person to have received these type of questions or remarks from family members or even strangers. But when you have found the one you just know – can anybody else relate to this?

I met my college sweetheart during my sophomore year at Gulf Coast State College where we both played NJCAA basketball. From there we were both lucky enough to attend a Division 1 NCAA University together on a full basketball scholarship and graduate with almost perfect GPA’s. We were essentially the love and basketball couple of Norfolk State University. When you feel it in your heart that it is the right thing to move onto the next phase of your relationship – go for it! I did and I have never looked back! I am so excited for what our future has in store for the both of us as we grow together as one.

With that in mind, I wanted to share with you how we make it work despite living miles away from our family and have completely different professions. These 7 keys I am about to share with you have helped our relationship grow throughout college and as we enter into adulthood.

1. Team Work

Whether you are dating, recently engaged or even a married couple teamwork is one of the greatest attributes to endure a healthy and happy relationship. To elaborate on this topic more, my husband and I have formed our own team by successfully supporting one another. Here are just some of the things we do as a couple as part of our team building.

  • Clean our apartment together
  • Sharing the responsibility of grocery shopping
  • Share the cost of meals even on date night! Yes, ladies, I do not believe a man should always pay for my meal. 
  • Cook together (specifically dinner)
  • Visualize together
  • Write down personal goals as a couple & individual goals
  • Journal
  • I rebound the basketball for him (if you are dating an athlete)
  • Workout together

It is always important to have your partner by your side.

2. Budget 

This has become a HUGE factor in our life after graduating from University. The first month we arrived here in Europe we were spending way too much money on things that we really didn’t need. After assessing our situation thoroughly, we were able to cut down our grocery cost by almost half! In addition, we adopted the 80-20 method, that is, spend 80% and put away 20% of our total income. There are plenty of ways in which you can budget but we have just found this method to work for us. While constructing a budget it is so important that you remain disciplined! I encourage you all to put together a budget – it’s better to start early.

3. Balance

Balance is another important element for us. I work from home and my husband is a professional basketball player who is always traveling. Although we come home to each other every night, setting aside one day out the week to enjoy nothing but ourselves away from all the chaos is crucial – I am talking about date night. Keep your date night spontaneous. I know my husband and I love to try a new restaurant once a month or even a new wine to taste – the list goes on.

There is also another important thing I would encourage doing and that is quality me-time. It may include something as simple as; reading a book, taking a bath, go shopping ladies – have some fun! Spending some time away from your spouse is actually important. It not only allows you to miss your partner but you are able to take a necessary deep breath even if things are going great. Trust me, space is healthy.

4. Same Frequency 

As a couple, we do sometimes experience a little bit of tension here and there. We are not perfect but I cannot stress this point enough! To be on the same frequency simply means to be on the same page with everything or at least make a compromise with your spouse. Over time I have learned to tolerate certain things about my partner that often lead to a peace within our relationship. It has also made me grow as a woman just by learning to appreciate my husband’s ways. In addition, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, the most alarming sign is to notice the things that aren’t working and try to improve on the situation by working on the problems you face together. 

5. Encourage & Compliment Eachother 

Wow. This is one of my favorite keys! There is nothing better than to hear a word of encouragement coming out of my husband’s mouth. Whether that is towards my website, the way I look in my outfit or even the way my hair is sitting today – the list goes on. There are plenty of kind things you can say to your partner to add a bit of confidence and spice to your relationship. When I say the word encouragement that can also mean having the confidence, to be honest with your spouse.

6. Self-Improvement

This is more of an individual key but trust me it is important. So my husband and I work on ourselves every day. It could be by attending the gym, reaching a goal of our own, developing new skills as a wife or husband – it’s the small things that make a huge difference. Once we have been working on what we want to improve on everything else just seems to follow. I know for myself, it makes me love my husband more to see that he wants to improve himself daily and visa versa.

There is no “I” in team. 

7. Love & Affection

I cannot harp this enough! Women love to know that their partner appreciates them. Speaking from experience I love a bit of affection that could simply mean a hug. If you are new to dating I wouldn’t rush into saying the three magic words but over time express to your partner how you feel about them. The same goes for when you are engaged. There is obviously a love that you share that you want to last forever so make sure you shower your partner with it. And the same goes for when you’re married continue to tell your wife or husband that you love them every day. You will be surprised how it makes them feel.

If you are new to the dating world, engaged or even married you will be so happy with how much growth you and your spouse make if you follow these 7 keys. I hope this was helpful.

May your life be filled with love and happiness.

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