by Lilly Parks
The good news is that the divorce rates in the US have started dropping since 1990, and have followed a downward trend since then. And thanks to millennials who are doing things differently, the rates will likely continue to decline. This is according to a sociology professor at the University of Maryland, Philip Cohen, in his analysis of the American Community Survey (ACS) data.
Still, the divorce coaching industry is thriving, but not for reasons that you’d normally associate with it.
Divorce coaches make a living out of helping people, cope with the breakdown of a relationship. They also empower these men and women to become better. This makes divorce coaching a rewarding business, what with a bigger cause behind it. But the real reason that lawyers work with divorce coaches is that they’re the ones who take care of the non-legal work that lawyers and their legal staff generally don’t do.
It’s easy to associate divorce coaching as something similar to therapy, which is not exactly far off. But these independent third parties provide more than just encouragement, guidance, and motivation. Their work also covers pre-divorce, during a divorce, and after divorce.
The roles divorce coaches play
Before a divorce
- Assess a marriage to identify if there’s still hope to work on the marriage or if a separation or divorce is the only solution
- Assess the counseling needs of parents and children
- If the decision to get a divorce is final, prepare clients for the upcoming journey
During a divorce
- Help clients work through their financial and personal needs
- Encourage sound decision-making by providing clear information about the divorce proceedings to clarify thoughts and concerns
- Help a client build a personal support system
After a divorce
- Help set goals for the future
- Share the positives of divorce based on their own experiences since some divorce coaches have gone through divorce themselves
How divorce coaching helps and empowers women
While your friends and family can provide support, relying on them comes with its own emotional baggage. Family members could be pushing you to take your ex to the cleaners or suggest many ways that you can hurt the other party.
As an independent third party, a divorce coach can create a non-judgmental, patient, safe, and supportive environment for you to get down to what really matters without pressure. Emotions are also excluded.
- Overcome separation
And the emotional turmoil that comes with it.
Grieving the loss of a relationship is one of the many things that women go through following a breakup or divorce. A divorce coach will help you deal with the loss and then help you build your support system.
One of the first things they look into is the immense confusion you are experiencing and then help address your overwhelming emotions and fears.
Part of their job is to discuss major concerns, such as:
- How can you manage financially?
- What will happen to your children?
- How do you break the bad news to your children?
- How do you deal with co-parenting?
With a seasoned divorce coach, you will be able to navigate through the financial, legal, and practical challenges of divorce.
- Grow and learn
There are lessons to be learned following a divorce. But unless someone is guiding you to the right path, you may not see those important lessons. You could get stuck in the grief stage, never to move on from there. You could choose to use alcohol, drugs, and food to cope with the fallout rather than take good care of yourself.
The right divorce coach can help you appreciate the good side of such a horrific experience.
It is possible that you chose the wrong partner. You made mistakes that contributed to the breakdown of a relationship. By identifying what went wrong, you’ll know better next time.
- Help reboot and create a new life
After a divorce, the focus of coaches is to help a client establish a vision and goals for the future, both for the short-term and long-term.
This is how divorce coaching empowers women, especially women who experienced self-discovery and happiness following a relationship breakdown.
Short-term goals may include going on a divorce retreat to learn about mindfulness and meditation. Many women who went on a retreat post-separation came home with a new perspective. They got to know who they really are, which is the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Another goal is to travel a lot, which some women say has helped them re-evaluate their values in life.
A good example of a long-term goal is to live a healthy lifestyle. A study that appeared in the Journal of Women’s Health showed that 80,000 women became healthier after a divorce.
A divorce coach can help you set similar goals for yourself.
If you want to take back your power, you will find a guide and supporter in them.
Once you’ve rediscovered yourself, you can start building a new life, a new career, and a new you.
Lilly Parks is a Divorce Angel and part of the dynamic Naked Divorce team. She is committed to helping her clients find the path towards healing and has been providing assistance to those who are going through the difficult trauma of divorce for more than 5 years.