Photo by Liza Summer
As women leaders, we have a common adversary—a persistent defamer who undercuts us, second-guesses our instincts, and undermines our decisions—the inner critic. In my practice, I hear this personal saboteur called by many names by women in leadership roles: impostor syndrome, fraud police, anxiety, insecurity, and self-doubt. This judgmental voice, whatever we may call it, isn’t helpful. It doesn’t lead to better decisions – it erodes valuable leadership instincts and intuitions; it causes dithering and delays, and it compromises confidence even after a decision is made.
I’ll let you in on a secret about this pesky heckler – it’s not innate. It didn’t come pre-installed; it’s the result of myriad unjust admonishments that you’ve absorbed over the years. Think of your critic like an invasive species, like kudzu, cane toads, or buffelgrass, that got turned loose in your brain and took up residence there. Realizing that the anxiety goblin is an unwelcome intruder is a great first step. Once you do this, you get to have some fun by recruiting other voices to show up and reject these whispers of doubt.
Confronting your shadow sensor requires a rich mix of affirming voices – peers, mentors, networking groups, and friends are all helpful support systems. But there’s another resource many leaders don’t take advantage of, one specially equipped for this kind of skirmish – a leadership coach.
Here’s why working with a leadership coach can help you overcome the fault-finding voice in your head:
- Sole Purpose: A coach’s purpose is to help you overcome your limiting self-beliefs and help you accomplish your goals. Your coach will be your consistent advocate and ally, one who will have the tools to refute your inner critic.
- The Consistency of a Professional Relationship: A coach works for you and makes themselves available to you when you need them. Working together, you develop a regular and consistent practice of recognizing, rebutting and ultimately defeating your inner critic.
So, when you’re ready to evict your intrusive adversary, remember you don’t have to fight alone – it took lots of disparaging viewpoints to create this doubt gremlin, but with care, consistent effort, and meaningful support, it can be defeated.
Hanna Miller grew up in an actual circus – first performing and then leading her family business. Eventually, she ran away to join the real world, picking up a master’s degree in leadership and organizational development and becoming a certified executive coach along the way. Now she works with leaders and teams of all shapes and sizes to help them step confidently into their spotlight.
