by Sheila Viers | Featured Contributor
It’s hard not to get caught up in the “how am I doing compared to her” trap. We want to make sure we are on the right track to achieving what we want, so we look around to see what other strong, successful women are up to.
It’s natural. And most often, it sabotages our success.
It starts off harmless, but then the further down the rabbit hole we go, the more disconnected from ourselves we become and the more we feel like we don’t measure up.
Looking around and appreciating is one thing. Looking around and measuring ourselves up against anyone else is a whole other matter.
Comparison is almost never helpful because it just zaps our creativity and holds us out of our power.
Here are 7 ways you can stop the comparison “shame game” in its tracks.
1. Approach Social Media With A Purpose
If you are using social media to build your business, treat it that way. Set a timer and open Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram etc. with a purpose.
What are you there to accomplish?
Stay focused, get your work done, and then close your browser.
2. Marry Yourself To What’s Going “Right”
We could have nine things going awesomely and one going not-so-awesomely, and what do we do? We obsess over that one not-so-great thing!
It’s okay to be imperfectly perfect. Focus the majority of your attention on all that is going “right” in your life and when you approach the not-so-great things, come at them in a solution-oriented frame of mind.
3. Reframe Your Perspective
It’s easy to look around at other people and perceive their lives as being so much closer to perfect than ours, but I bet in most cases that’s not actually true.
We all have our own challenges and it’s easy to show off only the parts we want people to see instead of how we really feel, especially on Facebook and in a strategically chosen photo.
As I mentioned, no one is perfect and you don’t really know what anyone else’s life is like unless you are walking around in his or her shoes. Remember this.
4. Clarify What YOU Want
By living in this world, you naturally see what other people have and don’t have. It’s not wrong to look at other people’s lives, see what you perceive them to have, and decide what YOU want based off of what you see. That’s actually a really important part of life.
Looking around and seeing what other people have that you’d like to have—that’s called gaining clarity.
The trick is, once you’ve decided what YOU want, you must focus your attention solely on that. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has compared to you. All that matters is what you want for your life and your unique circumstances.
5. Make Lists Of Appreciation
At the end of the day, make a list of 5 things that you appreciate about your day.
Make a list of all of the amazing qualities in the people that you interact with on a regular basis.
Make a list of all of the qualities within yourself that you adore.
Making lists of things that bring us joy help to “shift our state.” When we are happy with our life and ourselves, we really don’t care what anybody else is doing.
6. Set Goals That Light You Up
As Danielle LaPorte says in The Desire Map, “How do you want to feel?” Begin from that starting point and set goals that light you up from the inside out.
In other words, rather than setting goals based on who you think you are supposed to be or do, set goals that genuinely get you excited to get out of bed every morning.
When you’re in tune with your desires (from the inside out), it helps to remove the urge to check in on what anyone else is doing.
7. Live With An Open-Heart
Why are we so hard on ourselves when we don’t measure up to what we think we are supposed to be?
We are exactly where we are supposed to be, on OUR path unfolding in the best way, guiding us to all that we want and more. We just need to trust that this is happening.
Letting go of fear, anger, jealousy, and resentment opens us up to this trust. Giving unconditionally, with no expectation of receiving something in return opens us up in this way too.
Allow yourself to let go of your tight hold on performance and achievement so that you can relax into the knowing that everything is always working out for you. Whether you can see it right now or not, it is.
Which of these 7 ways resonates with you the most? Share in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.
Holistic Life Coach & Weight Loss Expert – Sheila Viers, The Non-Diet Approach To Weight Loss
Healthy living advocate Sheila Viers is the CEO of the premium fitness and yoga bag brand, Live Well 360, and Creator of ROCK Your Dream Body. Renowned for her practical and intuitive self-love philosophy, Sheila’s healthy living journey began a decade ago when she decided it was time to end her struggle with emotional eating and self-sabotage for good.
After years of yo-yo dieting, over-exercising, and issues ranging from food sensitivities to hormonal problems, she learned how to get out of “body jail,” lost 35 pounds, and now teaches women how to create this freedom and ease in their own lives.
Today Sheila’s passion is to help women feel amazing in their skin along the way to the greater vision that they see for themselves. Her vision extends far beyond weight loss and her unique ability to inspire women to step into their potential, by ROCKIN’ their dream body and in turn, their dream life, is catching fire.
Sheila believes that together, women can change how we view ourselves and each other so that we can embrace our perfectly imperfectness, shine our light, and allow ourselves to experience the love and happiness that we all crave and deserve.