by Rory Gardiner
I feel as though my best friends are so close, but yet so far away. Are you new parents or a married couple who find their social circles have taken a 180 degree turn over the years? It’s no secret that the life-long friends that you have made throughout your life slowly start dropping like flies after your first child. People either resent you for having children, or they can’t figure out why you would break up the wolf pack and move on to a life of diapers and no sleep.
Your true friends will always be there. Having babies is like spreading a friendship plague. It only really kills off the weak friends. The strong and healthy ones stick around.
When you get married or are in a long relationship, you begin to only hang out with other couples. The same thing happens with babies. No “non kid” couple wants to have a games night with a baby hanging off your nip. “Hold my beer, I need to clean pee off your recliner”.
You begin to gravitate to other couples who have children. Not because they are more interesting or entertaining, but because they are the only people who can tolerate you. They are in the same sinking ship, and you create a bond because you both find common ground in the fact that your “fun lovin'” days are behind you.
I use to play concerts out of town by sticking four guys in a van and hitting the road. Now that we all have families, it’s a convoy of soccer mom SUV’s rolling down the highway. Next to the drum kit in the trailer is a stroller. Next to the bass amp is the breast pump. Now we crank the speakers with kid music. The after parties have turned into “I need to go back to my hotel room immediately because my 2 year old will be up in a few hours, and we can’t miss the waffles at the continental breakfast”.
When trying to find a new couple to hang out with, treat it like dating. You don’t want them to be boring. You want them to bring out your best qualities. All four of you need to get along. If only the females get along, the male will hate his life every time he gets dragged to another sushi night with “the weirdo’s who pick their nose at the table”. If only the males get along, you will never see this couple again. Most importantly, you want your other couple to be faithful. You don’t want to catch your new couple friends laughing and having dinner parties with a younger, sexier and more vibrant couple, while you’re at home having conversations with your pets as if they were people.
OK, the last part is an exaggeration. They are allowed to see other people.
There you have it. You’re not alone. We are all in the same “aging” boat. Good luck finding your “couple soul mates”. May you live in peace with the notion that one day your children will have moved out and you can finally take vacations together at places that don’t have giant, talking mice greeting you at every corner. Bon Voyage!
Rory Gardiner They say if you do what you love, you never have to work a day in your life.
Singer/Songwriter/Author/Entrepreneur/Comedian/Lactose Intolerant Rory Gardiner has seen the success of his compositions published and performed by other artists, as well as songs licensed and synched in TV advertisements airing daily throughout North America.
Rory has appeared on multiple CMT(Country Music Television) nationally broadcasted reality shows in Canada, and keeps a busy 100+ shows a year touring schedule.
Author of “Break Free: The Road Map for Building a Healthy Lifestyle & Breaking Bad Habits.” Using humor, parable and motivation, Rory outlines how the right small changes in a busy lifestyle can have a dramatic effect on how you look and feel.
Rory has recently released his first country music children’s record “Yee-Haw” on iTunes, influenced by becoming a parent himself. The album has already been awarded a “Parents Choice Award”, and Rory states “I can’t wait to see where this adventure takes us next!”