Jump. by @blackcatbaby

by Lauren Aktins | Featured Contributor

There’s only so much you can learn in one place.  The more that I wait, the more time that I waste.

~ Madonna

It’s curious that I’m writing this post during the week of a full moon, of which Rebel Society writes, “This is a call to look at seeing the bigger picture instead of stressing about the details.”  Ah the details.  When you have spent the last few years gripping to details for dear life, how do you let go and return to seeing big?

Let me start from the beginning.  I started my company 3 years ago, when had no business doing so.  I had no money, no investors, just an idea and a decent social media following.  And while it’s gone really well, by the end 2016, I was miserable, exhausted, and angry at myself for ignoring my instincts.  I took a long break and spent time with my family in Toronto.

I decided to make some personnel changes with my business  and keep going.  But that’s not the story here – my lack of faith is.  Since deciding to keep at it, a flood of new people and opportunities have entered my life.  Potential partnerships, mentors, re-connections with old friends and even the entry  of new ones.

So what gives?

If the pendulum is (finally) swinging up, why am I INSISTING on being down?  Is it hereditary?  Is it because I stopped being a “regular” at church?  Or have I just been kicked in the stomach so many times (by so many people) that it’s beginning to take it’s toll?

It’s times like these I wish I had kids.

Not because I want to be a mom so much as I’m fascinated by the blind faith it takes going into it.  The pregnancy itself is a lesson in certainly.  Whether you’re “too young” in your teens/20s or “too old” in your 40s, (and cynicism has begun to set in) carrying a child and trusting that everything will be OK, is one hell of a lesson.  Pregnant women are so aware of everything they put into their body, even paying close attention to the thoughts going into their minds.

If we can do it for the baby, why can’t we do it for ourselves?

My friend and I have been talking a lot about faith lately.  She is getting ready to move to Miami and start over without a “solid” plan in place.  Pretty much everyone I know who has switched cities followed the same strategy – myself included.  If the the saying is “leap and the net will appear,” why do we freeze up when the net looks differently than the one we expected?

My plan is to just STOP doubting already.

As I write this, I’m sitting under a framed quote “Faith is being sure of what you wish for and certain of what you do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)  This frame did not just ‘appear’ randomly in my bedroom, I bought it!  This was years ago, when I decided it was a daily reminder that I could use.  It’s amazing how we can choose to ignore something when it’s quite literally staring us in the face.

While attention to detail is imperative to running a successful business, I don’t see how implementing an unwavering belief in myself or a higher power could hurt.  The time has come to try living it.

Life’s gonna drop you down life the limbs of a tree

It sways and it swings and bends until it makes you see…

Are you ready to jump?

~ Madonna

Lauren Atkins

Born in Cape Town and raised in Toronto, Lauren Atkins has always had a natural curiosity about the world and what makes people tick. She spent much of her childhood and adolescence singing in the choir, acting in plays, and modeling. But it was the invention of social media platforms and advances in digital entertainment that really sparked her entrepreneurial spirit. In 2006, Lauren began hosting a popular online music show ‘Black Cat Baby Presents.’ She wrote and produced every episode. Artists from around the world began submitting music. What began as a small hip-hop podcast quickly became a format for musicians of all styles to showcase their talent. Her weekly blog about her musings on life, love and womanhood has been read over 10 thousand times. After the success of the award winning web series “My Friends Think I’m Funny” which she wrote, produced and co-directed, she had an idea: why not create a festival celebrating the best of the web in New York City? After a successful launch in 2014, NYC Web Fest continues to gain in size and momentum, with guests flying in from around the world. She is the founder of NYC Webfest, VP of Creative Content, JamisonKane Entertainment LLC.