Contributor

It’s OK to be a Woman and Not be Maternal by @kathryneggins

by Kathryn Eggins | Featured Contributor 

There’s a lot of focus out there on entrepreneurial women who are juggling motherhood and a career along with all of the single mums out there who are doing it all…

And to those women…

I applaud you…

I honestly don’t know how you do it…

But today, I would like to shine a light for the women who can feel unheard…

And, at times, a little outcast…

Women who’ve never had that maternal urge to have children…

Who are quite content living their lives without the patter of tiny feet…

But who feel misunderstood by society…

Because, ‘How dare they choose to live and feel that way!’

For me, it was never even a choice…

The thought of having children has never crossed my mind…

EVER!

I’ve never felt the urgency of my body clock ticking away with a fear that one day it will be too late.

I’ve never wanted to be married either and while I’ve been happily involved in my relationship for 25 years now (I don’t believe I’m even old enough to say that!), I’m glad I followed my heart and did what was right for me.

People say, ‘Oh, you’ll change your mind once you have a child,’ and ‘You’ll regret it,’ but honestly…

If I had listened to everyone else and had a child or got married because everyone ‘said so’…

THAT I would have regretted…

Just the thought of it makes my heart feel like it’s having the life squeezed out of it.

Some people believe that not having children is selfish…

That it’s somehow blasphemous to want to live your life on your terms…

That your sole purpose here on earth is to procreate and everything else comes second.

I don’t believe that…

I believe we’re all here to contribute to the expansion of the Universe, which means that some of us are here to have children and some of us aren’t…

We’re all on our own journey.

I believe in following your heart…

And if you’re not called to have children…

That’s what’s meant to be…

And it’s perfectly ok.

I’m a free spirit…

I love my partner and I love my cat…

But I also love that I don’t feel the need to be married or to have children…

And, no…I don’t want to hold your baby.

Give me a Furbaby any day.

I have friends from school who couldn’t wait to get married and have children and I think it’s wonderful that they followed their heart…

They’re gloriously happy with their children and their grandchildren (I don’t believe I’m old enough to say that, either!)

But I’m more than content without children…

I’ve never felt the pressure from society to have children…

It’s just something I’ve been more than sure about and no one will sway how I feel about it…

I couldn’t care less what anyone else has to say about it…

But a lot of women do feel the pressure…

And are led to believe they’re doing something wrong.

There are women who love their children but they don’t feel maternal…

Who feel that if they had their time over again, they wouldn’t have had their children…

And some feel guilty for even thinking that.

It doesn’t make you a bad mother if you don’t feel maternal…

It doesn’t mean you love your children any less.

Not feeling maternal is OK…

And if you feel that way…

OWN IT…

Be proud of it…

It’s ok to be a woman and not feel maternal.

You don’t have to have a child just because your mother wants a grandchild…

To do that would be living your life on her terms…

You don’t have to have children simply because you can while others can’t…

We’re all on our own journeys.

It’s your life and you’re perfectly entitled to live your life on YOUR terms.

It’s normal to be a woman and not feel maternal…

And if that’s you…

OWN IT and EMBRACE IT.

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