by Linda Allen | Featured Contributor
The website SheOwnsIt.com is a personal blog owned and edited by Melissa Stewart. She owns it. Literally. But beyond the site and blog itself, she owns the results she is creating. She owns the rewards that may include the monetary results and the satisfaction of seeing the positive impact she has on her readers. She owns all the ripples, both negative and positive, that emanate out sometimes unknown distances from the choices she makes every day. How often do you pause to consider that the same is true for you?
Yes, You Own It.
You own it all. And there are good things to be had from owning it. Here’s a look at what happens when you don’t, and when you do.
I Don’t Own It – The Way of Denial
In this age of political, corporate, and even religious denial, it’s become commonplace for those who purport to “lead” us to refuse to be accountable. They love to languish in the things that go well. They’re easy to inflate into lofting balloons filled with their own wonderfulness. But when the proverbial shit hits the fan? It’s pretty much always on “the other guy.”
Beyond the obvious present moment fallacy, there’s a much larger issue in play here. They’ve cut themselves off from one of the most essential tools of self development. While they should be learning from their results, they’re only learning how to better avoid or shift responsibility in the future. Rather than learn from the experience, they become less authentic with each new denial. Refusal to own one’s results is equal to refusing to learn the lessons that are part of the process of becoming a more complete, more compassionate, and ultimately more at peace member of one’s tribe, culture, and society. And perhaps even human being.
For all of us, reality is that we will from time to time make choices that create results that are not acceptable. Or worse. The odds of making more poor choices in the future increases every time we choose denial or attempt to shift blame elsewhere. The desire to avoid perceived short term pain will lead to long term betrayal of both self and others. To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin,
“The bitterness of poor choice remains long after the sweetness of denial is forgotten.”
Own It – And Win
When I close each day of editing on my own site, Ms Career Girl, I get to own all that I’ve done that day. Some things work well, some are acceptable, and some, regrettably, I go to bed knowing that I could have done better. Those are my results. I savor the victories, ponder the averageness of the majority, and I evaluate actions that produced unsatisfactory results. Because I’m constantly looking at the latter of those through my own accountable eyes, it’s easy to ask the question, “How can I do things differently to get the results I really want?”
Those who live in denial never get to hear that question.
But choose to own it, and you do. It’s in that moment of owning it that you, with the help of whatever resources are available, become your own teacher and mentor. With practice, you’ll find that most of the answers will come from within your own knowing, experience, and intuition. It’s my personal belief that more often than not we know the best path, the best choice, even as we make decisions. When poor choices are made, we have the self-cleansing tool of owning it to make corrections and move on.
Progress Not Perfection
Hey, we’re human. We make mistakes. We have lapses in consciousness or judgement. You’re making real progress when you acknowledge those lapses, own them, and make course corrections. The choice is yours.
Linda Allen, Editor and Writer for MsCareerGirl.com.
Currently you will find Linda editing or writing articles on all things of interest to career women. She’s passionate about equal rights, equal opportunity, equal pay, and being a cheerleader for aspiring young women.
Linda is a self-described serial entrepreneur, with a resume that makes her look like a Jane of all trades. Her managerial experience includes teams as large as 25 and as cozy as two.
She has a MA from Miami University (Ohio, not Florida), BA from Cal State. Not to mention a graduate degree from the toughest school of all, Hard Knocks U.
You can connect with her via
Linda Allen is the editor of Ms. Career Girl has been a lifelong serial entrepreneur and considers herself a “Jill of all Trades,” having operated multiple businesses and held positions with both a major consumer electronics company and a New York financial services firm. But her passion is helping other women (and men!) navigate their personal and career paths.