by Sandra Dawes | Featured Contributor
If you’re like me, there have been times when you’ve struggled to stay on track in the pursuit of achieving your goals. These obstacles can be very frustrating and leave you feeling overwhelmed. If you allow them to, they can prevent you from achieving the very success that you’re working towards. Here are 5 ways I’ve identified that we sabotage our own success.
- You pick goals that aren’t meaningful
When I say meaningful, I’m talking about goals that mean something to you. We can sometime fall into the trap of choosing to pursue goals that we think we should make happen or that others want us to achieve. If it’s not a goal that is important and meaningful to you, then staying committed to that goal through challenging times is just going to be more difficult, if not impossible. Make sure your goals excite you and have real meaning for you.
- You’re over-thinking your decisions
I know that I’ve fallen into the trap of over-analyzing everything and accomplishing nothing. Fear of failure and fear of success can both be the cause of the lack of ability to make a clear decision. Most of the time, we know what the answer is, but we lack confidence in ourselves and faith that everything will unfold as it should. Remember that our failures don’t have to define us. The choice is yours. Mistakes are only failures when you don’t take the time to learn something from them.
- You’re afraid to ask for help
The bigger the goal, the more help you’re going to need along the way. If you have control issues like I do, it can be a challenge to put your trust in others. It’s not just about asking for help, it’s about asking the “right people” for help. Your cousin’s son may know a thing or two about websites, but if you want it done professionally and in a timely manner, you may want to stay away from the “free” and “cheap” and pay for the help you need. Avoid spending your time trying to figure out things that are outside your expertise.
- You lack focus
If you aren’t able to ask for help, you won’t be able to focus on the things that you do best. If you’re wearing the hats of the webmaster, virtual assistant, bookkeeper and IT professional and none of these are actually the business you’re in, what are you doing? Sure you might be saving money, but are you making any? Putting too much on our plate leaves us unsure of where to start. Think about which of your goals is the “golden egg”. What one goal’s achievement is going to make the others easier to make a reality? Once you figure that out, the rest becomes much easier.
- You’re still hopeful
You may be wondering why being hopeful is on my list of ways we sabotage ourselves, but here’s the thing; hoping that our goals become a reality implies that there’s still some doubt in your mind as to whether or not your goal is actually possible. Don’t hope your goals become a reality, believe and know that they will. We have to be mindful of the words that we speak. I’ve heard Louise Hay say that every word we speak is an affirmation. We have to claim as ours the things that we want for ourselves. Don’t hope or wish that things will happen. Start with the belief that it is already yours. If you don’t believe that your goal can actually become a reality, why even bother?
We don’t consciously sabotage ourselves from achieving our goals. Once we understand the things that we do that make it harder for us to do what needs to be done, we can look out for them and equip ourselves with tools and strategies to avoid these blocks. Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve done any of the things I’ve listed above. I can identify them because I’ve done all of them at some point or another. When we know better we do better and that’s really what it’s all about; constant progress and continuous evolution.
Sandra Dawes is a recovering control freak and excuse maker, as well as founder of Embrace Your Destiny, her life coaching practice. Her work involves teaching women how to stop making arguing for their limitations so that they can create the life that they want. Sandra’s inspiration to help others in this area comes from her own journey and experiences in dealing with the heartbreak of losing her father. She published her first book Embrace Your Destiny: 12 Steps to Living the Life You Deserve, a story that outlines her personal journey, in November 2013.
In her down time, Sandra loves to read, do yoga and spend time with her partner Satnam and their dog Lulu. For more information on what she does, visit www.embraceyourdestiny.ca.