by Tamela Duncan | Featured Contributor
Greatness is not what you have, acquire, accomplish or do – but true greatness is in how you love and make others feel. In the words of Maya Angelou, “People won’t remember what you did. People won’t remember what you said. But people will always remember how you made them feel”. Words, powerful and impacting fall easily from our mouths daily. Most of the time we aren’t actively conscious of our words and behaviors, they are automatic, part of our preprogramming. Our words are part of our thoughts, moods, actions, and attitudes. In fact, we have between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts per day, and unfortunately, most of them are negative. Without realizing it, many of the words that come out of our mouth are harsh, pessimistic or judgmental. And why is it that so many of our words and thoughts are negative? Exposure and repetition are what creates the tracks in our brain and the patterns of our thoughts.
Take a moment and go all the way back to childhood and think about your exposure. Think about how you were spoken to, what judgments you learned, and how you heard people speak to or about others. Now think about your present exposure; the people you are around, the news you hear, the television shows you watch. Think about what is feeding your brain. All of those words, judgments, and attitudes have become, and are becoming part of your programming. You have become who you are based on what you are around. And consciously or subconsciously you project all of that out into the world.
Not always, but for the most part, you can choose what you allow into your heart and mind. But you always get to choose the actions you take and the words that come out of your mouth. People really won’t remember where you live, what you do, or where you shop. They won’t remember whether you do or don’t have kids, where you went to school, or destinations you have traveled. “But what they will always remember is how you made them feel.” True greatness is creating a consciousness around how you live in this world. A legacy to leave behind is compassion, humility, tenderness, a beautiful smile, a gentle touch, and a gigantic heart. Kindness, love, and respect leave memories that last forever.
“My greatest passion is attempting to live life to the fullest, not taking it for granted and doing my best to support the beauty and growth of another. I’m a terrible sleeper because my mind is moved by things I have to write about or spiritually figure out. (Thank goodness for coffee.) My motto is to laugh, play and love as deeply as possible. When something in life is hard, I think of myself as a Jedi attempting to transcend the fear before me – because fear is the thief of opportunity. Life is a gift; we get to choose how we live it”.
Tamela Duncan, LSCW has been in practice for over 28 years as a licensed, clinical therapist; she’s certified in Regression therapy, teaches meditation and mindfulness. She has extensive training in spirituality, life coaching, relationship counseling, and mood disorders. Tamela has a thriving private practice working with individuals, couples, and families.
For over a decade, Tamela taught at UNCG’s Call Program. She provides lectures and talks to the community and continues to conduct workshops and classes open to the public. She has recently completed a book titled, “Genuinely Happy: A Conscious Choice.” She is also a talented musician, writer, and blogger.