Heather K. Terry, Author at She Owns It

Step Inside Your Consumers’ (and Competitors’) Heads by @hkterry1

February 12, 2015 by Heather K. Terry Leave a Comment

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

When’s the last time you stepped into your customer’s head?

You know that old saying, don’t miss the forest for the trees? The idiom that reminds us we shouldn’t be so focused on the details that we miss the big picture? Well, as it so happens, it is very easy to let this happen when you’re in business.

I’ve been so focused these past few months in my role as acting CEO of NibMor and helping to prepare our new incoming Chief Executive Officer that I lost a bit of perspec-tive about the big picture of our operation.

This intense focus I’ve had on the corporate details of the company has been extremely important, so please don’t get me wrong. But now that NibMor’s new CEO is all settled in, I am having an absolute blast. I can see the forest again, so to speak.

Since this new gentleman has come into the picture, I’ve taken on a new role in Product Development and Branding. And, in order to get my head into the game, I’ve been spending at least one day of my workweek hanging out in the aisles of stores. (It’s a rough life, ladies.)

I am out where our consumers are. I’m taking photos and looking to see what competitors are doing and how shoppers are interacting with other chocolate products in our space. I’m studying why products are selling in some stores as opposed to others. I’m watching to see what consumers are gravitating towards. I’m trying to really get into the consumer’s head to see why they’re picking up the products that they are. I can see which products are being restocked more often, what’s being picked more often, and what’s being picked least often.

Sitting in the holiday aisle is my new favorite pastime. I’ve been developing holiday items for NibMor like crazy! I have this whole new perspective into product development that you can’t get in the kitchen or in the boardroom. What could sell? What price does it have to be at to sell? What does the product package have to look like for some-one to pick it up?

This work is invaluable for NibMor. I am learning so much from competitors and consumers that it’s shocking.

Whether you’re on the shelf or off the shelf, you can get a lot of intel from your competitors by simply looking at what they’re doing-what’s working and what’s not. Now, I am NOT saying that you should go and copy what your competitors are doing. No way. But you can put your own unique spin or process on a successful program.

For instance, if you’re a service-based business and you want to offer a new health coaching service, study the website of someone doing well in that space. Look at who’s leaving comments on their blog posts. Learn from those things. Ask yourself how what that business is doing can be applied to what you’re doing. It’s not about copying; it’s about taking something that seems to be working and figuring out how to apply it to what you’re doing.

Put your spin on it!

Don’t focus on competition in a dramatic negative way, but look at what those competitors are doing and use some of this information to your own advantage.

When your company has grown to a certain point, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the operations and to lose sight of not only how consumers’ needs may be changing, but also how your competitors might be doing a better job of meeting those needs.

Take a step back and focus some of your energy on how your consumers are spending their time. It’s time very well spent!
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Celebrated health coach, cooking instructor, yogi, and author of the forthcoming book “My Life In Chocolate”, Heather K. Terry, is a true health aficionado. CEO of NibMor Chocolate, co-founder of the Gluten Free Sugar Cleanse, and a strong advocate of eating real, simply prepared, organic foods and avoiding genetically modified, highly-processed food-like objects. A graduate of The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and The French Culinary Institute of Manhattan, Heather’s passion for food and nutrition are palpable.www.heatherkterry.com

Heather K. Terry

Celebrated health coach, cooking instructor, yogi, and writer, Heather K. Terry, is a true health aficionado. Co-founder and COO of NibMor Chocolate, co-founder of the Gluten Free Sugar Cleanse, and a strong advocate of eating real, simply prepared, organic foods and avoiding genetically modified, highly-processed food-like objects. A graduate of The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and The French Culinary Institute of Manhattan, Heather’s passion for food and nutrition are palpable. www.heatherkterry.com

www.heatherkterry.com

No Experience Is a Waste by @hkterry1

January 22, 2015 by Heather K. Terry Leave a Comment

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

If you’ve ever found yourself doubting your business sense because you don’t have any real “experience,” give yourself a tiny little smack.

Everything you’ve ever done has been (or will be one day) a relevant business experience. You have more skills than you realize.

I know this now, but I didn’t when I first became an entrepreneur.

When I first ended up in the boardroom, I thought that because I was an actress and had spent the past fifteen years working in restaurants, I shouldn’t have an equal say in business decisions.

I was wrong. I underestimated my life experiences.

Your prior work experiences add up, and you take them all with you to your future endeavors.

When I was a waitress, for instance, I learned about customer service. I learned how to ensure that a customer left feeling good about our establishment. As a waitress, bartender, or retail clerk, you are face-to-face with customers, and you get immediate feedback. You have to learn how to handle negative experiences on the fly. So, you have to get very good at thinking on your feet and doing whatever you have to do (within reason!) to keep a customer happy, whether they’re being turfed because they’ve had too much to drink, or because they received a crappy meal. You don’t want either person going home and writing flaming reviews online.

These experiences give you the ability to respond to all sorts of situations with diplomacy.

As the owner of a chocolate company, I get all kinds of feedback. I almost always know exactly what to say to please a customer, thanks to all of those years working in customer service.

I know how to handle any scenario with enough finesse to make sure the customer leaves happy. For instance, we get a few emails a year from customers concerned that NibMor chocolate bars contain soy lecithin.

We tell these customers that we do use GMO-free soy lecithin in our chocolate, and if they are concerned about the use of soy lecithin that XYZ brand chocolate bars do not contain any. By the way, our drinking chocolate does not contain soy lecithin—would you like us to send you a sample?

I learned how to finesse a situation like that through waitressing. To take your own emotions out of the equation and to do what will please the customer.

I learned from our brilliant events manager at the restaurant I managed just by watching him in action. He knew how to make any space an experience for a patron. I took him with me when it came to setting up for trade shows and demos. (In my head, not physically.)

I learned business lessons as an actress, too. The most valuable thing, though, that I took from my acting career was a good thick skin. When 800 doors slam in your face in a year and only 20 open for you, you have to learn to get tough. When you’re an actor, you are your product, so it stings quite a bit when you’re rejected.

All of those experiences made it easier for me to have doors slam in my face with NibMor. Make no mistake about it, I did take the rejection personally in the beginning. I was insecure about our product and my ability to run a company, so every “no” was a little gut punch. But, had it not been for the rejection I had grown to know as an actress, it would have been much worse.

As an actress, I also learned the art of collaboration. How to network and schmooze.

I could keep going. But my point is that all of your work and life experiences are applicable to your business.

Sit down and think about the experiences you’ve had and how they may relate to what it is you’re doing now, as a business owner. I have a feeling you will surprise yourself. So whether you worked at Subway, The Gap, or Goldman Sachs, no experience is a waste.
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Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

Dear Office Bully: Here’s Where You Can Put Your Pencil Skirt! by @hkterry1

December 11, 2014 by Heather K. Terry 5 Comments

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

I work from my home office the majority of the time, but recently I’ve started working from a shared office space.

The other day, while I was innocently working away at my desk, I was approached by a woman who told me I wasn’t dressed professionally enough for the office.

Before I even realized it, I became the victim of a woman-on-woman crime.

I was floored. This woman cornered me, like something out of a TV show. I never thought in a million years that someone would approach me and tell me I wasn’t dressed properly.

Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I’m a spitfire and I don’t take anybody’s shit. But I was so surprised that another woman was approaching me in this way that I really didn’t know what to say or how to react. So I basically ignored her while maintaining my composure.

Now, just for reference, since you don’t know me from Adam (or Eve), I am a well put-together chick. I make a real effort when I get dressed in the morning, and I take pride in my appearance.

I do not wear blazers or pantsuits, but I always look polished. Sleek and professional.

Here’s the thing, though: I am never going to walk into the office in a pencil skirt or a suit. I’m the girl in hot riding boots, skinny jeans, and a nice blouse. That is the look that is in line with my brand. Those are the types of clothes I feel confident in.

I am not going to compromise my personal style for anyone. I am never going to pretend to be someone I’m not. I am just not going to do that. Nobody should.

Mark Zuckerberg wears a hoodie to work every day. I’m pretty sure nobody’s giving him a hard time about it.

(Note: The day of the suit is on its way out, people. The clock is ticking.)

The moment that woman told me I had to change my outfit, I realized that I will never sacrifice who I am for anyone.

I need to be true to myself. And if I walk into the office in a pencil skirt, I am being someone else.

When we started Nibmor, I bought a couple of good suits because I thought I would need to wear them to important events or meetings. And I have worn one of those suits . . . once—one time.

That suit didn’t feel right. It felt gross, to be blunt. When I showed up in that suit, I felt so inauthentic.

The truth is, this woman had a problem with me. And she approached me in the workplace, trying to get into my head. I’ve heard about women bullying each other this way in professional settings, but I really never thought this would happen to me.

If a man did this, it would be viewed as harassment.

Why, as women, do we feel we have the right to say something to other women about how they look?

It’s just not cool. If you have an issue, go through HR.

There are a couple of things this experience taught me.

You Will Come Up Against Petty People

When this happens, you have to remind yourself that this is their problem, not yours. You are stirring something up inside this person, and you need to just ignore them. That’s all you can do.

You Will Come Up Against Rude People

People take their baggage into new relationships and situations. You might be reminding that person of the person who bullied them in sixth grade. Ignore it and carry on.

Don’t be that petty, rude person. Get over yourself and stop putting your personal shit on someone else. There are other things you can put that energy into, like changing this world.

If you’re a victim of a woman-on-woman crime, know that she made you feel small to make herself feel better. Just smile with your head held high and remind yourself that it’s not about you.

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Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

How To Handle Those Business Ch-ch-ch-changes! (Part 3 of 3) by @hkterry1

November 25, 2014 by Heather K. Terry Leave a Comment

Part 3: When Employees Leave

This is the final installment in a series of articles I’ve written about how to handle the first transitions small business owners generally encounter—hiring and retaining employees.

It’s time to discuss what to do when an employee leaves.

It can be a devastating moment when a valued employee comes to you and gives his or her notice. Granted, it’s much more devastating when someone just ups and walks out the door, but whatever the circumstances, transitioning between employees isn’t always pleasant, and it’s almost always stressful.

When you hire someone, you have to have a plan for what happens should they decide to walk out the door.

When we hired our first employee at Nibmor, we didn’t have a clear strategy for what would happen if that employee ever left us. When our first employee quit, we were completely unprepared. I went to my sister for help. Her advice was of enormous benefit to us, and so I’m passing it along to you.

Here’s what she told me:

1. Retain

If the professional relationship is ending on good terms, see how long you can possibly retain that employee beyond the date they wish to leave. If you’re given two weeks’ notice, for instance, offer to pay that person for a few extra days, a month, or on reduced hours to help you get all the information you need from them. This would include any information in the employee’s brain that isn’t documented elsewhere— passwords, contacts, processes . . . these sorts of things. If you’re paying that person for this period of time, they should be quite agreeable.

When you have someone leave you and they were responsible for a function of your business that you have not been involved in, you can’t even imagine how stressful a situation that can be. Retaining that employee for as long as possible really is money in the bank . . . frustration averted. It is so worth it to have your butt covered and to have them leave in a friendly way because they’ve been compensated for their time.

Most people will also appreciate the opportunity to make some extra money, unless they are going directly to another job.

When there are fall outs, you do the best you can. If they won’t come in for an exit interview, get something in writing. Have them promise they won’t disparage the company, that they are not entitled to additional pay, that they aren’t entitled to unemployment benefits, etc.

2. Conduct an exit interview

Exit interviews are fantastic, and you really need to conduct one of these with each employee who leaves you.

During an exit interview, you sit with the employee and go over all of the contracts and documents that person signed when you hired them. Discuss what they can say and what they can’t say. Talk about disparagement, remind them of the non-compete agreement they signed, tell them that all emails are company property, and go over anything else you need them to be clear on. You can also use this opportunity to gather valuable feedback about how your employee felt working for you and your company. You may not be able to change your employee’s mind about leaving, but it’ll help you for your next hire.

Exit interviews are a fantastic way to wrap things up with your employee and wish him or her well on the next journey. It really does help you both leave on a feel-good note.

You can do some searching on the Internet (if you don’t have a sister like I do) to find an HR system that will help you with all of this. But if you’re too small for something like this, just go ahead and ask around. If you worked in a corporate job or if you know anyone who works in HR, ask them if you can pick their brains.

The moral

Cover your butt. As great as it is to hire employees, you must be responsible on their exit. You do not want these people leaving with proprietary information, industry secrets, or patents. If you don’t handle this right, you could end up being sued or having someone starting a business based on your ideas.

Having people quit is part of running a company, and you need to be prepared.

It will take you one afternoon to create this packet. Search the internet for templates. Keep it simple. These exit documents should be clear and concise. There’s no need for formal legal speak. When you’re ready to beef the documents up, go to an attorney and they will be happy that you’ve put things in place.

Do you have a great piece of advice on the topic of dealing with employee transition?

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Celebrated health coach, cooking instructor, yogi, and writer, Heather K. Terry, is a true health aficionado. She is co-founder and CEO of NibMor Chocolate, co-founder of the Gluten Free Sugar Cleanse, and a strong advocate of eating real, simply prepared, organic foods and avoiding genetically modified, highly-processed food-like objects. A graduate of The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and The French Culinary Institute of Manhattan, Heather’s passion for food and nutrition are palpable. www.heatherkterry.com

Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

How To Handle Those Business Ch-ch-ch-changes! (Part 2 of 3) by @hkterry1

October 22, 2014 by Heather K. Terry Leave a Comment

Part 2: Retaining Good Employees

There’s nothing quite like the heartbreak of losing an employee who you’ve invested time, money, and energy in. It’s even worse if you’ve let yourself get attached to said employee, which tends to happen a lot, especially among us girls.

In my last post, I talked about one of the first transitions we make when a business starts to outgrow its start-up phase: hiring that first employee. I wrote about how important it is to remember that your employee is just that—an employee—, and therefore will not love your business as much as you do. I then discussed how you might go about managing your expectations and working with your employee to make this transitional process successful. (You can click here to read that article.)

Today, in the second installment in a three-part series of blog posts, I’m going to talk a bit about the steps you can take to retain those model employees you really do want to keep around.

In my mind, there are three key things that will go a very long way in keeping good employees:

1. Make it worthwhile for them to stick around.

As a start up, maybe you can’t provide dental benefits or a company car, but there are things you can offer your employee. You might simply need to sit down and have a conversation with that team member to see what that is. Maybe they envision working their way up the ranks, earning promotions, and staying with you long term. Maybe they’re interested in commissions or bonuses after a certain level of sales is reached. Maybe they would very much appreciate having a flexible work schedule arrangement.

Set your employees up for success and they will do the same for you.These types of incentives will make your employee feel like he or she is an integral part of your company, and when you do this, you quite possibly have an employee for life. So, if it means pay raises after sales increase by x% a quarter or a work from home arrangement one day a week, see if you can make that work.

2. Show your appreciation.

Let the people who work for you know how valuable they are to you. Say thank you. Give bonuses. When you make your employees feel appreciated and valued, they will work harder for you. Sometimes I’ll give my employees $20 Starbucks gift cards just to say thank you for kicking ass on a project or for staying extra late at the office one evening. Team morale is a very important element of a well-functioning business, and these small gestures go a long way.

At the end of the year, I always give my assistant a bonus. This is above and beyond what the company gives her. This is from my own personal funds as a thank you for doing a good job and going the extra mile. When you make people feel good, they will invest in you emotionally. (Then, they will have a very hard time leaving you!)

3. Ask for feedback.

Staff meetings are important, but I think that one-on-one conversations with employees are also key. Especially for those who fill crucial roles in your company (frontline reception, for instance). Ask employees how their job is going. Ask if they’ve noticed areas that could be more efficient. Ask what is working well and what they would change if they could.

Taking the time to listen to your staff about how they would be doing their jobs if it were up to them can give you valuable insight, and it can also make those people feel like they are valued.

Haven’t you been there? Where you were in a job and you were dying to tell your boss that certain aspects of the job weren’t working, but you felt like you weren’t respected enough to give your opinion? Don’t let that happen to your employees! Start the conversation yourself, and keep that communication line wide open.

In my next post, I’ll write about how to handle the other end of this transition surrounding employees by giving you some suggestions on how to handle employees leaving you and how to open up someone’s career path by letting them go.

For now, do you have any tips on how to keep good employees around? Comment below and let’s discuss!

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Celebrated health coach, cooking instructor, yogi, and writer, Heather K. Terry, is a true health aficionado. She is co-founder and COO of NibMor Chocolate, co-founder of the Gluten Free Sugar Cleanse, and a strong advocate of eating real, simply prepared, organic foods and avoiding genetically modified, highly-processed food-like objects. A graduate of The Institute for Integrative Nutrition and The French Culinary Institute of Manhattan, Heather’s passion for food and nutrition are palpable. www.heatherkterry.com

Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

How To Handle Those Business Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! (Part 1 of 3) by @hkterry1

September 23, 2014 by Heather K. Terry Leave a Comment

Part 1: Hiring Your First Employee

In the eternal words of David Bowie: Every time I thought I’d got it made, it seemed the taste was not so sweet.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, indeed!

I’ve always associated the month of September with transitions—with changes. I think many people do. September marks a change in seasons. In parts of North America, it also traditionally marks a change in schools and in grade levels. Change is in the air this time of year. And if you’re a start-up operation, trust me when I tell you that your autumn is coming . . . if it hasn’t already!

When you’re in business for yourself, the smallest transitions can seem huge.

Over the next three blog posts, I’m going to talk about transitions in business. Today, I want to talk about how to prepare for one of the first (and most difficult) transitions experienced by all successful business owners: hiring an employee.

Once upon a time, if I heard someone anguishing over hiring an employee, I would have possibly laughed at them and told them to get over it. Companies hire employees all the time. But as a business owner myself? Well, it’s a totally different ball game. And it really is no laughing matter.

I mean, it’s your business, right? What if the person you hire doesn’t do things the way that you would? It’s enough to keep you up at night.

I have been through this myself, and it sucks. But, I have some advice that will make it a bit easier for you to transfer from a “doing-it-all-by-myself” entrepreneur to “doing-it-with-hired-help” entre-preneur. (Which would you rather be?)

Remember your employee is (gasp) an employee.

What happens with a lot of entrepreneurs is that they expect the employee to care about the company as much as they do. But, really, an employee is an employee. Your business will never mean as much to someone else as it does to you. Your business is your baby.

(To continue with this metaphor, when you have an actual baby and you have to leave it in someone else’s care, you can’t expect that person to love the baby like you do. But you can be pretty certain that the person will care very much about your baby and will not let anything happen to him or her.)

The best way to get past this issue of worrying about your employee caring about your business enough is to encourage him or her to become invested. Offer incentives! Get employees excited about helping to grow your business. Let them see the bigger picture and where you’re willing to take them. Treat them well by saying thank you. Small tokens of appreciation go a long way.

Your employees will probably never care about your business like you do, but they will care enough to do a good job for you, and that’s good enough.

Identify what’s making you worry.

When I was ready to hire an employee to help me with events, I was really, really bothered by the concept. So, I took some time to think about what was stressing me out so much. I realized that it was going to drive me foolish to give up control of organizing trade shows. When I knew that, I was able to address it and to make a plan. I had to simply lay down a detailed list of tasks. That made the transition a lot easier for both me and my employee.

Manage your expectations.

Be very clear with your employees about what your expectations are. I’m talking about writing clear lists of tasks and implicit instructions about how you want those tasks completed.

With my new trade show employee, I gave her backlogs of all the shows I had done in the past and was clear that I wanted her to replicate the process. I asked her not to deviate at all from the plan.

At. All.

I told her how I wanted her to answer certain questions, how to set up, and what to do on the floor. I explained that I needed things to operate the way they always had. Eventually, I would let her put her own spin on it, and she understood that, but this was how I had to have things work for me in order to feel comfortable.

This really helped to make sure I wasn’t going crazy worrying about how things were being handled, and she didn’t have the stress of a crazy boss breathing down her neck.

Transitions are hard—change is hard! But when you’re prepared for it, things get a whole lot easier. And guess what? Things never stop changing when you own a business, so you might as well get as comfortable with being uncomfortable as you can.

In my next installment in this series of blog posts, I’ll talk about some other common business transitions, and we’re also going to talk about some areas in your business that you perhaps should be transitioning out of. Like, now.

Til then, please leave a comment, and let’s chat.

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Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

Sometimes Work Interferes With Life—It Shouldn’t Be the Other Way Around by @hkterry1

August 7, 2014 by Heather K. Terry 1 Comment

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

This past week, I’ve been busy planning an international business trip that, truth be told, I don’t really feel much like going on. Not because I don’t love the notion of just flying off to Peru, but because I have to leave my baby behind. Granted, she will be with her father, her grandmother, and her nanny, so she probably won’t even notice I’m gone. But I am feeling a lot of guilt over having to leave her.

I was having trouble sleeping last night over this because I always feel a lot of anxiety when my work gets in the way of my life.

Then it struck me—the weight of that thought.

I don’t like when work gets in the way of my life.

To me, that means I am doing it right. Because for a lot of people, it’s the other way around. Life gets in the way of their work. It was like that for me when I was an actress, I admit it.

Back then, everything revolved around me and my career. I was so focused on getting my fifteen minutes that I would be frustrated if a family event came up that I was expected to attend. Or, if my friends wanted me to be somewhere, I almost resented them for inviting me. Like, didn’t they know how busy I was? How swearword screwed up was that?

Luckily, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten wiser. When I left the world of acting to be an entrepreneur, I realized that if my company were to fail, it wasn’t going to be my business contacts whom I would turn to. Those connections would be long gone if anything were to happen to the business.

It occurred to me that I was missing out on my life and on those human connections that really matter.

Last night, when I was up worrying about leaving my little girl, I started to think about how many people in my life are constantly attached to their cell phones and laptops. Living life through a screen.

I thought about the friends I no longer spend time with because they’re always too busy with work to just hang out.

I thought about how, when I was younger and in pursuit of fame and fortune, there was a time where I lost sight of what was really important.

And then I took a deep breath and put things in perspective.

My daughter is growing up with a strong woman as a role model. I own a successful company and sometimes that physically takes me away from home. But when I am home with my child, I am home with my child.

When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do does not involve checking email. I have some time with my daughter, and then her father takes over and the two of them enjoy each other’s company before he goes to work.

While they hang out, I have a cup of drinking chocolate, I look at the trees, and I enjoy my life. Before I sit down to work, I make a point of reaching out and connecting with my mother by sending her an email. Or I text a photo of the baby to my sister. Or I call my aunt to check in.

I make a connection with a human being I love.

And it isn’t until I’ve fulfilled that need to reach out to someone who matters to me that I start my work day.

I will work from home during the day, unless I’m needed at the office. I take frequent breaks through the day to relieve the nanny, so I can spend time with the baby. I squeeze in a yoga class whenever I can, being sure to take time every day to do something for my own personal well being.

Then, when my husband gets home from work around 7 or 7:30, we turn our phones off and enjoy just being together without any distractions.

I am living my dream life every single day. Those little things I do during the day end up being very important when times like this arise where I have to do something I don’t want to do. Because overall, my life is in balance and I am happy. Can you say the same? If not, maybe you need to make some adjustments.

There will be times when you can’t control work interfering, no matter how close to perfect you’re living your life. And if you love what you do, that’s ok. As long as you have a balance you’re happy with.

If I could go back and have a word with my 20-year-old self, I would say, “Heather, smarten up and pay attention because you are missing your life, and it’s not worth it.”

If the words you are reading right now have any influence at all on you, I hope you will take my message to heart. Is your work interfering with your life, or is it the other way around?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to look back and realize I spent my 30s staring at the screen of a cell phone. I want to look back and say, “You know what? I lived the shit out of my life.”

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Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

Can a Woman Have It All? That Depends by @hkterry1

July 18, 2014 by Heather K. Terry 4 Comments

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

A morning news program I recently watched featured an interesting discussion about comments made by a high-powered female executive regarding balance of career and motherhood. This woman is the CEO of one of the most recognizable brands in the world, and she was so bold as to suggest that women just can’t have it all.

She went on to justify her statement by saying that if someone were to ask her children what kind of a mother she’d been, she wasn’t sure their response would be a positive one.

I was choking on my cereal at this point because to say that women can’t have it all is absolute bullshit. It just depends on your definition of having it all.

As a woman in the workforce who has children, if your having it all is to be a successful executive who is also there for your children, why is that such a stretch?

If your having it all is to be a Mom first and foremost and to work reduced hours until the kids are in school, why is that unattainable?

I think we are striving to be the types of mothers that our mothers were, but we simply don’t live in that world. Things are much different for us than they were for our mothers. For one thing, the workday no longer ends by punching out at 5 o’clock. It’s more often expected to be available while at home with today’s technology—something our mothers didn’t have to worry about.

Mom was my primary caregiver. She took care of the house, fed me, and worked all at the same time. It was assumed by my parents that she would fill the role of caretaker and homemaker and that she had to make that work around what she did to earn money. It is easy to feel like you’re not doing the mother role justice when your model was some sort of martyr.

Today, we are much more communicative with our partners. It isn’t always assumed that the child rearing is going to fall solely on mom’s shoulders.

I am generalizing here, but in many cases when a baby is born to parents who both have careers, there’s a discussion about how that new life will be integrated into the existing family dynamic.

In my case, my husband’s career isn’t as flexible as mine, so we have agreed on what compromises have to be made to work around our daughter since I don’t want to be 100% at home or 100% at work.

My having it all is the ability to be a good mom and a successful executive. My having it all means that I work from home as much as I possibly can so that I can be with my baby and to see that smile as much as possible. I often have to be able to run to a meeting at a minute’s notice so I have childcare in place just in case. My daughter is the most important thing in the world to me but that doesn’t mean my business isn’t also a priority.

In order for me to have it all, I must constantly talk to my husband about how we’ll continue to fit my work around our daughter and how he can help support my vision. I have to communicate with my business partner and other key persons in my company about the flexibility I need in order to work around my home life.

We all need to start working towards fulfilling our own vision of what we want our lives as mothers to look like because, you know what? We only get one shot at this.

The good news is that employers are becoming quite progressive. (Most will entertain the idea of mothers working from home because they know that if you give a mother 3 hours of focused time to work on something, she will do the work of multiple people!)

If your current scenario isn’t working for you, stop sitting around feeling guilty and change it!

What do you have to lose if you go to your employer and propose a solution that could help you to have it all? Ask if you could work from home a day or two a week, or even half days for the summer. Maybe your boss would be open to you bringing your baby to work 1-2 days a week—you never know!

If you can’t fit your life around your baby and that’s your having it all, you will be miserable until you sort something out.

I have seen women make a ton of different scenarios work to fit their situation. Some take the kids to work with them, some hire a nanny, and some leave work all together. There is no shame in any of those solutions.

To suggest that women can’t have it all is just completely untrue. What is true is that every woman has a different concept of what “all” is, and it is this “all” that is attainable.

It all comes down to getting good and clear on how you want to live your life and what you need to do to have it all.

I challenge you to figure out where your happiness lies and to find a way to honor that. You only have one life. Live it well.

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Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

The One (and Only) Way We Should Try To Be More Like Men by @hkterry1

June 13, 2014 by Heather K. Terry 1 Comment

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

There’s a part of me that hates the idea of writing this article. But a bigger part of me knows that it needs to be written.

See, there’s a really big elephant in the room. She’s wearing heels and carrying an Hermes bag and she is completely ridiculous, but here we are pretending we don’t notice her.

When I was an actress, it was common to see women in pretty hardcore competition with one another. The stage and the screen are cutthroat environments. That world is very superficial, and your success depends on you having the right look. It often comes down to pure dumb luck. Sure you need talent, but there’s a lot of “being in the right place at the right time” involved, too.

Actresses are keenly aware that there is always someone thinner, prettier, taller, blonder, [insert your own superlative]. . . That’s just the way it is.

When I left that world to become an entrepreneur, I was surprised to see that the same sort of competition is not reserved for entertainers.

In my personal experience, other women have not always been terribly interested in helping me succeed. I’ve approached other women in the chocolate space to talk business, and I’ve often been given a cold shoulder. Some women will say that they are interested in working together, but I get this vibe that says the exact opposite.

This always surprises me because women tend to be more collaborative by nature than men. But this trait doesn’t seem to translate to The Real World. In business, I have found men to be much more welcoming and open to collaboration than women.

Before you consider leaving too many nasty comments, I realize that I am generalizing here—not all women act this way—, but, in my experience, we just aren’t as supportive to one another as we would like to think. You know, as a gender.

When my business partner and I started our company, we had a lot of trouble at first trying to identify our roles and figure out where we each stood. There was a level of competition between us, and luckily we were both mature enough to be able to sit down and talk about it or else our business would never have gotten anywhere.

So, why are we like this? Why are we threatened by each other?

No, really. I don’t have the answers. I want you to help me understand why women can’t just work together without comparing ourselves to each other or competing with each other all the time?

I expect this all stems back to when we were taught by mainstream media at age ten that we had to be the prettiest or the thinnest in order to be valued, but aren’t we all smart enough to let that go? Can’t we move on? Have we not evolved into deeper human beings?

I wonder how many amazing businesses never got off the ground because of some form of drama between women.

Can we, as women, learn how to support one another?

Can we leave that cattiness at the door and work together to help grow our businesses?

Let’s start coming up with some ways that we can support each other and build each other up instead of feeling threatened and knocking each other down. I’ll start . . .

Join a networking group for women and REALLY give it your all. I love Elevate (formerly known as 85 Broads). It was started by a couple of gals from Goldman Sachs on 85 Broadway in New York City. 85 Broads is an amazing networking group for women. There are chapters all over the place. Check it out or a similar group for women in business in your area.
Clarify roles. If you are in a business made up of other women and it’s a more competitive environment than a collaborative one, get good and clear on what each woman’s role is within the company and come up with ways that you can all help everyone else to succeed in their respective roles. Sometimes it’s overlap that leads to resentment.
Get to the root of it. If you find yourself having negative thoughts towards another woman about her success, look within and ask yourself why. Why am I feeling this way about this woman? Be aware of when this happens and just try to stop it.

The truth is, we are all part of something bigger. What if we could leave our egos at the door (maybe with the elephant) and work together to create amazing things. What if we could all collaborate together and support one another without allowing petty feelings and drama to cut ideas off at the knees?

What can we do to help each other be more amazing instead of searching so hard to find fault with others?

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Heather K. Terry

www.heatherkterry.com

Beware of Cockroaches Posing as Business Coaches by @hkterry1

May 12, 2014 by Heather K. Terry 9 Comments

by Heather K. Terry | Featured Contributor

You’re about to undergo an invasive operation. The procedure’s being done by a skilled surgeon with an excellent reputation. Her track record’s nearly perfect, and she’s been doing surgeries like this for years.

Fortunately for us, doctors aren’t allowed to operate on people before they study medicine for many years. Before they operate on real live humans, doctors must hone their skill on cadavers until they’re fully qualified to become practicing surgeons. (Grey’s Anatomy anyone?!)

This same basic principle applies across most occupations. You generally need to have the chops to back up whatever it is you’re doing in a professional capacity.

But have you noticed what’s been happening around les internets? There are dozens of smarmy people hiding behind splashy sales pages (in which they’ve invested a ton of cash), offering their services as business coaches.

Yet, the only business these individuals have ever run is their business coaching business. It’s shocking how deceptive a good looking website can be, convincing many people to invest 5 or 6 thousand dollars into working with the person claiming the ability to help them move their business forward.

I am absolutely sickened by these parasites who’ve taken a few mastermind classes and are calling themselves business coaches. How can you help me grow my business if you’ve never run an actual business?

These people are taking advantage of vulnerable entrepreneurs who are trying to eke out an honest living, when, really, they don’t know the first thing about what it’s like to be in the trenches as a business owner.

If you’re thinking about hiring a business coach, I want you to stop whatever it is you’re doing right now and REALLY listen to what I’m saying to you.

Do not be fooled by a pretty front. Dig deeper before you hire a business coach, and make sure of a couple of things before you waste a penny of your cash or a minute of your time (as cash and time are the most important things you’ve got!).

For starters, make sure the business coach is knowledgeable about your particular business.

I am the co-owner of a packaged goods company. My business partner and I have a wealth of experience and knowledge to share about business in this space because we’ve learned by doing what works and what doesn’t. We know about cold storage, packaging requirements, and what absolute hell it is to ship chocolate across the country.

But we would not be of any help to an online-based service provider, just as a coach specializing in online-based services would be of no help to a packaged goods business.

A great example of this is an entrepreneur who came to myself and my business partner, Jennifer Love, at one time to share her idea about starting a cashew milk company. Great idea, but we knew right away she had a product with massive spoilage issues. This product would have an extremely short shelf life, and we knew from experience that if this woman were to pursue this idea, she would be facing an uphill battle. So, we told her the honest-to-God truth and she decided not to pursue that idea. She saved herself a world of hurt by talking to the right people.

Do you think a coach who had never run a business in the food industry would have thought about this?

Do your homework.

Find out what businesses the coach has been involved in starting and/or operating. If this information isn’t available on his or her website, that’s a red flag, so call and ask for it. If the person has no experience running or starting a business, move on.

Ask to speak to some references.

Once you’ve found a business coach with experience in your line of business, ask for the contact information of three or more clients. Find out from these people whether the business coach was of help to them and whether they felt their investment in his or her services was worth it. Be sure to ask what the business coach did, specifically, to help them and what the result was. Often, when calling around for references we’re happy with the blanket, ‘It was great!’ statement. GET SPECIFIC! Money and time are on the line!

Find out if you can get your money back if things don’t work out.

Ask right up front if the coach offers a money-back guarantee. Many reputable coaches will give you a full refund if you feel you were not able to move your business forward with their advice.

I believe you will get much further ahead by seeking out people who have failed in the business you’re in, and talking to them than you will by spending thousands of dollars on one of these “coaches.”

Why?

Because the entrepreneurs who have failed in the business I want to succeed in will teach me where they went wrong. They learned what didn’t work. They have perspective, and that perspective is priceless. Seek someone like that out, or someone who is successful in your space, and offer to buy them dinner, or, if you can, hire them for a consulting contract.

Hiring the wrong business coach is a waste of cash and time, and, as an entrepreneur, those are precious assets that must not be wasted, especially not on snake oil.

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Heather K. Terry